


Common Courtesy

by quotationsovercadence



Series: Lily [1]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Anxiety, Arguing, Biting, Blindfolds, Break Up, Claustrophobia, Deviates From Canon, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Forced Marriage, Forced Relationship, Friendship, Hair-pulling, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspired by Music, Jealousy, Light BDSM, Love Triangles, Marijuana, Murder, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Painplay, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Destruction, Sex, Sexual Assault, Smut, Spanking, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Temperature Play, Temporarily Unrequited Love, The Sanctuary (Walking Dead), Torture, Wax Play, fluff if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:26:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 28
Words: 90,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26938120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quotationsovercadence/pseuds/quotationsovercadence
Summary: She wanted to end her life on her own terms, not ripped apart by dead freaks. And by god, she was gonna fucking make sure it happened that way.
Relationships: Dwight (Walking Dead) & Original Female Character(s), Simon (Walking Dead: Saviors)/Original Character(s), Simon (Walking Dead: Saviors)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Lily [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2197674
Comments: 118
Kudos: 33





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Insert 'A Perfect Circle: The Outsider' lyrics here.

Maybe it was the pills or maybe it was just her shitty luck. Either way, colliding with the building hurt a lot less than she expected it to. Still, she could feel the blood that streamed from her temple on the impact, with the window? No that couldn't be right. Had to be the steering wheel. What she did know, was that the impact hadn't killed her. Pity. She really wanted to die.

Her vision was blurry, warm and wet but her hands laid heavy and useless at her sides. How many pills had she taken? She couldn't remember. Enough to numb the pain, but not kill her. Was that her punishment? For being the last person living? To be forced to keep moving, keep living against her wishes. The punishment didn't seem to fit the crime. She never considered herself an especially good person but she knew damn well there were worse people before the fall of humanity. 

She laid there, contemplating her forced existence when she heard it. That fucking shuffling sound. It was obvious, even over the angry rock music that still poured from the speakers. That unmistakable sound, the only constant in her life anymore but that was about to end. She'd had enough. That much was obvious when she decided to drive her piece of shit adopted truck into the brick wall of a mini mart. She couldn't see through the warm wetness that covered her eyes but it didn't matter. She'd spent the last six months in the truck and knew every inch of it by heart. So she forced her right arm to move, which took much more effort than she cared to exert but she wanted to end her life on her own terms, not ripped apart by dead freaks. And by god, she was gonna fucking make sure it happened that way. 

She felt for the ashtray that hung just below the radio in the old as dirt truck. She felt it then and her fingers slid along the edge til they curled around the handgun she'd wedged there. For a second she hesitated, marveling at the feeling of her heartbeat against her temple as more blood leaked from the wound. She could smell it, she realized when a metallic scent wafted to her. That fact alone meant she was bleeding from more places than her head, but wasn't that more or less the goal anyway?

The driver side door opened with a loud creak, which some small part of her muscle relaxer addled brain found odd. Dead freaks couldn't open doors. But she wouldn't, couldn't rather, dwell on it because she needed to concentrate on bringing the gun to her head. 'Not the temple.' She told herself as her vision tunneled and she rolled her head to the right, feeling the barrel of the gun come to rest in the center of her forehead. She tried to curl her index finger around the trigger but found it especially difficult. Her mind was teetering on the edge of unconsciousness and suddenly the weight of the gun was gone from her hands. 

She closed her eyes to the feeling of dead hands on her. Guess she was going to be ripped apart after all. At least she wouldn't feel the pain. She just hoped her body didn't come back. 'Please.' She thought as she succumbed to unconsciousness. 'Anything but that.'


	2. Sometimes You're The Hammer, Sometimes You're The Nail

The first thing she noticed when the fog of unconsciousness began to lift, was the pain. Had the dead left her half eaten in her truck? It fucking felt like it. She attempted to move her arms, even before her eyes were open and the sharp sound of metal against metal echoed in the otherwise quiet space. It came from her left wrist and she forced her eyes open, finally taking in her surroundings. She felt her eyes go wide as they frantically searched the small room she was in. 

It looked like some kind of makeshift exam room and it finally clicked that she was laying on a cot in what looked like a cheap hospital gown. Her left hand sported an IV while her wrist was secured to the rail of the cot by a pair of handcuffs. But that... wasn't possible. She was the last person alive, or so she thought. She'd spent months searching for others only to come up empty handed every time. Hell, she would have settled for running into some kind of inbred mountain man, if it meant she was no longer alone. 

A few thoughts ran through her mind, the first being relief. She'd clearly found someone after all this time. The second, the fear that came with self preservation. Her pulse raced as she realized that whoever had taken her from her truck had chained her to the cot. She was far from a welcome guest. 

The room was empty except for her, which meant whoever had handcuffed her to the small bed wasn't expecting her to wake up, at least not yet. She had an opportunity and she'd be damned if she didn't take it. Her right hand, thankfully, was free and she grabbed one of the bobby pins out of her tangled dark blonde hair with a smirk. They might have taken her clothes but they either weren't very thorough or they underestimated her. Another opportunity. She placed the flat side of her bobby pin between her molars and bent the metal before sticking it in the lock of the handcuffs. 

She mentally thanked her brother for the knowledge he'd given her all those years ago. Remembering how she huffed and puffed when he made her sit down and learn how the locks worked after learning about her chosen occupation. She told him, if she was ever in handcuffs, it was already too late but he didn't care. It was his way of showing his love.

She forced the thoughts of him away before she could dwell and flawlessly opened the cuff around her wrist. Now came the difficult part. She held the bobby pin with her teeth while she carefully undid the tape covering her IV. Her stomach did a flip so she closed her eyes and slowly pulled it out from beneath her skin. 

She was never particularly bothered by gore. Hell, she'd seen her fair share of it. But ever since the time she let one of her buddies tattoo her in his trailer which resulted in a hospital visit, anything to do with needles always made her go a little green in the face. She knew, if there was anything in her stomach, it would have come up. A sweat broke out across her skin but she took deep breaths to ignore it, focusing on her next task. She needed a weapon. 

It was the third drawer she tried that she found one. A bunch of scalpels in what looked like a cutlery drawer. 'What the fuck.' She thought as she grabbed one. She didn't want to stick around and meet the kind of people that put scalpels in cutlery drawers. Not on their terms anyway. 

But fate had other plans however, because she suddenly heard footsteps coming towards the door. She went with the first thing that popped in her head, hide behind the door. Making it behind the door just in time for it to open, she stilled her breathing and readied her scalpel. An older man walked in and she could see the back of him tense when he noticed she was missing. Not bothering to wait til the door was closed, she made her move. 

A few seconds later she had him bent over the counter, his arm behind his back and the scalpel dangerously close to one of his major arteries. A few surprised grunts left the man before he managed to speak. "You don't have to do this." he said, lifting his free hand up to show he wasn't a threat.

"The only thing I wanna hear from you, is who you are, and what the fuck was in that IV." she seethed in a hoarse voice, too long since she'd last spoken out loud.

"Fluids. You were dehydrated when they brought you in. I'm a doctor." His voice wavered and his breathing was uneven which might have had something to do with the blade so close to the thin skin of his neck. 

"Who's they? Where the fuck am I?" His eyes drifted away from the woman, in the direction of the door. "Answer me!" she snapped, pressing the flat of the blade against his visible pulse.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you." came another voice and her head whipped up to the doorway. Her blue eyes roamed the blonde man in the doorway, his hair was long and fell forward concealing part of his face. Her brow creased and her lips parted at the sight of him. It couldn't be. She hadn't seen him in years, even before the dead started strolling around. But blue eyes, the exact same shade as hers stared back at her.

"Oh my god." she breathed in a shaky voice. "James?" 

Her hand holding the scalpel to the doctor's neck relaxed in her surprise at the same time the blonde man shot her a look of confusion. She saw it then, it wasn't him. But it was too late, she was grabbed from behind by someone she didn't see. The scalpel was gone and she immediately started struggling against the tight grip on her arms. 

"Get off me. Get the fuck off me." she yelled at the mystery figure that held her. 

"Settle down before you get hurt, sweetheart." his voice was a low growl in her ear. Oh no, she was not about to be a fucking plaything for a bunch of dickheads. Not today. And not without a fucking fight. She threw her head back as hard as she could and knew by the pained grunt that came from the man, she was right on her target. 

Spots danced across her vision but it didn't matter because the newcomer threw her against the wall, hard. His hands went to his bloody nose while she suddenly found herself on the floor. One of her hands went to her temple and she was forced to remember the wound there as it was bleeding again from her impact with the wall. The man who she could get a good look at now, was middle aged with a receding hairline and a thick mustache that reminded her of a seventies porn star. Most notable though, was the look of rage he was now sporting as harsh brown eyes glared at her from behind his bloody nose.

"Oh I don't think you meant to do that." the man told her cooly while he pulled his bloody hand away from his face. "No. That was definitely a mistake." she fought the urge to shrink away from him and instead curled her lip in anger before the blonde man stepped in with a hand on his shoulder. "Uh, Simon. Negan's expecting her." he told the older man who smiled wickedly at her.

"Perfect." he said hoisting her off the floor by the top of her arm, ignoring the fact she wobbled on her feet and shoved her, past the doctor and into the blonde man's arms. Now that she was up close, she could now see that a good half of his face was covered by a severe burn scar and it was definitely not James. "Let's see you try that shit with the boss. Take her."

The last part was directed at the blonde who immediately began pulling her from the exam room. The hallway was cold and empty as he nearly dragged her, turning this way and that before passing a large, space that resembled the inside of a warehouse. She met eyes with a few men and women holding guns before they crossed the room and she was pulled down another set of empty hallways. It was more than unsettling to find out there were so many people left when just hours ago, or was it days, she thought she was the last one. There was no point in trying to memorize the many turns they took so she focused instead on her breathing, doing her best to stay calm. 

"I'm only gonna say this once." the blonde man muttered in a low voice as their walking began to slow. "When he asks you, who you are... you answer 'I'm Negan'. That's all the help you're gonna get from me."

She gave him a confused look, a deep crease set in her brow before they came to a stop in front of a door. There was a window but the blinds behind it were down, no way to see what's inside. The man quickly opened the door and all but threw her inside the small room. She stumbled before catching herself on a long table. "Dickhead." she snapped, looking back at him.

"My. My. My." came a voice from the other side of the room. A voice that was much too calm for the situation she was in. Her eyes went to the sound, studying the middle aged man that leaned against the wall. Dirty boots, blue jeans and a leather jacket covered his body while he leisurely held a barbed wire covered baseball bat at his side. He considered her with dark eyes while his free hand rubbed at the salt and pepper stubble that spread across the lower half of his face.

"Now is that any kind of language for a lady to use?" he cooed dramatically.

"I'm not sure. I'll ask next time I run into one." she snapped, adrenaline coursing through her veins as she tried to control herself in the situation she was in. She might not be in charge of what happened, but she sure as hell was in charge of how she reacted to it. The sound of the door closing had her eyes landing on the blonde man, guarding the door like some kind of robotic sentinel before glancing back to his boss.

His smile grew wide, showing his white teeth. He pointed the barbed wire covered end of the baseball bat at her. "That, was funny. I can appreciate finding humor in stressful situations. I get it, you woke up here, no memory of how you got here and to top it off you're wearing that ugly ass thing. I mean, you've got to admit, some of it probably has to do with all the pills that were in your system but.."

He paused when her lip curled into a snarl. 

"Oh, did I strike a nerve?" he asked as he left the wall, sauntering around the table to stand right in front of her. "You could have died you know. You owe Dwighty boy here and Simon a thank you for dragging you out of that truck after you pulled out in front of them and totaled one of my best vehicles."

"Fuck. You." she spat. 

He smiled again, "I don't think were on the same page here." Before she could process what happened, she was forcefully bent over the table, her busted temple pressed into it's cold surface by a firm grip on her hair and she groaned from the pain of it. 

"Oh, I do love a challenge, sweetheart. Now, how long were here depends on you." His voice was as calm as ever as he placed his baseball bat on the table. The barbs that curled around the end were a little too close to her face to be considered comfortable. "So, shall we begin?"

.

"I'm Negan."

.

"There's just one more thing I need from you. Just to make sure we're on the same page." Negan said as he slid the cell door open and waved for her to enter before him. Once she understood his game, she fell in line quite easily. Negan reminded her of her own Father, the bastard control freak that he was. That whole my way or the highway vibe was annoying as shit but while it might have been Negan's game, she was an excellent player. And if there was ever a person that could endure some fucked up shit, it was her.

She did as was instructed, entering the dimly lit cell with a smirking Negan and Dwight in tow. A man was sitting in a lone chair, each of his hands were handcuffed to the arm rests. She took a breath and steadied herself for whatever he was going to have her do.

"Who's this?" he asked the men that entered behind her. 

"This," Negan started, not wasting time. "Is our new savior, Lily." The man's eyes grew wide at the revelation. "Replacing me already-"

"You fucked up didn't you, John." It was more of a statement than a question, like he was reminding the chained up red head of his transgressions. "And Lily here knows her place. Don't you sweetheart?" he explained it so simply, like she hadn't just endured hours of violent interrogation and intimidation tactics. What a grade A asshole.

"Dwight." 

At the call of his name, he stepped forward and held a gun out for her, his hand curled around the barrel. "Kill him." The eyes of the prisoner went wide at Negan's command. She clenched her teeth. It could be a trap, but she figured it was better to follow his command than question it. So she forced the thoughts away of what she was about to do and detached herself, only focusing on the motions. Endure and ignore. She could do that, she'd done it before. 

A numbness settled into her body as her hand closed around the handle of the gun, taking it from Dwight. The man's mouth was moving frantically but she couldn't hear anything over the blood rushing in her ears. She checked the safety was off and pointed it at the man's head before pulling the trigger.


	3. Is This The Way You Get To Hell?

_Click._

She felt the blood drain from her face when nothing happened. She tried again.

_Click._

She ejected the clip of her borrowed Glock and found it was empty before a slow clap erupted behind her. She tensed when Negan's arm went around her shoulders and pulled her into him. "See how easy life can be? I tell you to do something and you just fucking do it. That goes for both of you." The latter part of his speech was meant for the man in the chair and she wondered what he'd done to wind up there in the first place, or if he was just unlucky enough to be caught by these men.

His arm left her, he took the gun from her hands and turned to Dwight, "Give her shit back to her. And take her to the showers. She fucking needs one." Asshole.

"Oh, and put her in the room across from Simon. He's gonna help keep an eye on you, since you two hit it off so well." His smile stretched his face but she kept hers blank. She couldn't react, she'd learned that pretty quick. "I'll send Arat for you," he told the man before walking out of the cell, leaving the three of them alone.

"Well, come on," Dwight said, moving towards the doorway himself, "I ain't got all day."

That wasn't exactly true. All any of them had was time. Borrowed time of course, but still. Once the dead started eating the living there wasn't anything else to do besides survive or die. Still, she followed him wordlessly, away from the cells, up stairs, down more hallways until they reached the Savior's floor of what she now learned was a massive factory.

She'd gotten her clothes back, a pair of black skinny jeans that hugged her hips perfectly, though they now sported a large rip in them from the glass that penetrated her thigh in the wreck, a flannel shirt, leather vest and sturdy boots along with her backpack which was now empty except for the lone book she'd had. But at least she'd gotten the backpack. It had been a gift from her brother and the only thing that mattered to her anymore. Her weapons wouldn't be returned to her til she was outside the sanctuary walls, she had to prove herself trustworthy to carry them on the inside. She rolled her eyes at that thought. Whatever.

She could make a shiv out of a toothbrush if she really needed to. As long as the material was sturdy enough and not that cheap flimsy shit they made them out of nowadays. Well before the fall, anyway. God, her childhood was fucked up. It was disturbing how little it took for her mind to go back into defensive mode. Sane people didn't have thoughts like those, she reminded herself as Dwight walked her to the showers.

When they reached the showers, she made to enter but was stopped by Dwight's hand grasping her forearm in a firm grip. She paused, her hand on the doors handle while she kept her eyes forward, waiting for whatever was going to happen next. "Who's James?" he asked in a low voice, almost a whisper and her eyes went wide in surprise before she remembered that she'd called him that name only hours ago. She pulled her arm roughly away from his grip. "My brother," she told him as her eyes roamed him from his lanky build to his gaunt face. Light blue eyes, the exact same as hers stared back at her. Even the shoulder length blonde hair was the same as his had been. "You look... it's uncanny," she finished, shaking her head before walking through the door in search of the promised shower.

Dwight was waiting for her, leaning against the wall opposite the door in the hallway when she emerged, dressed in her own clothes again and fully clean of the sweat, blood and dirt of the days past. Even her clothes had been cleaned. Which was, suspiciously generous at best. The only evidence of her recent turmoil were the various bruises covering her body from the wreck, her busted temple and the still bandaged gash on her thigh.

Her long, still damp hair fell behind her as she let Dwight lead her down the hallway, her backpack now firmly secured to her back. He pointed out her room and she was surprised by how nice it was. It looked like a fucking motel suite. Twin bed, dresser, table with a lamp and a mini fridge. What the fuck did she need a mini fridge for? The showers, the electricity, it was all too much to process. To think that she'd be sleeping in a real bed, in a bedroom that now belonged to her, was enough to make her head spin.

"It's about dinner time. Come on, I'll show you where we eat." She wordlessly followed him as he led her to what was sure to be the largest room on the floor. A dozen or so pairs of eyes were on the two as they entered the makeshift break room. She did her best to focus on her surroundings and not think about the fact that she was unarmed in a room full of people she didn't know. Her muscles were tense, she was ready to defend herself if needed.

"What the fuck is she doing in here, Dwight? You know wives aren't allowed in here."

It came from someone she was already painfully familiar with, Simon. He was filling a mug with coffee as he shot her a dirty look. She had no problems returning it. Bastard. What kind of absolute heathen drinks coffee at night anyway?

She made a face at the memory of Negan's disgusting proposition. Her eyes went to Dwight and even though half his face was covered by the large scar, she could still tell he was smirking at the older man. "You owe me a carton," he said and she caught the amusement in his tone.

"Bullshit," the man said as he slammed his mug down so hard that she thought the ceramic might break. Still steaming coffee splashed onto the counter from the impact as he continued to glare at her. She could see the dark circles forming under his eyes from the broken nose she'd given him. Though, it didn't look crooked, just swollen. No doubt the doctor would have fixed it before he even left the office. It took everything in her not to give him a nasty smirk.

Dwight only shrugged in response, "Ask him yourself."

"Did I miss the introduction?" Negan's voice came from the doorway and everyone went to their knees at the sight of him. Even the people sitting in chairs abandoned them to kneel on the fucking ground. What kind of bullshit cult had she gotten sucked into?

"Well, I'll be damned Lily," he said as he sauntered over, stopping just in front of her. He looked her up and down before a wicked smirk appeared on his face, "I knew there was a pretty face hiding under all that dirt. But aren't you forgetting something?" he asked before leaning closer til she could feel his breath against her ear. "Let me give you a hint."

A quick move of his arm brought the barbed end of the bat firmly against the top of her bandaged thigh. She gasped, a pained expression crossing her face as she sank to her knees in front of him, her face now mere inches away from his bat. "Now that's more like it," he cooed approvingly at the sight of her taking shaky breaths to steady herself, "That's a damn fine kneel. Maybe next time you'll remember." With that said, he opened the fridge and pulled out a beer before turning strolling out of the room, whistling like he didn't have a care in the world. Dickhead.

A beat of silence passed before a pale hand shot out in front of her face. Dwight she realized when she met his eyes. Rather than taking the offered hand, she gripped the edge of the fake marble top counter next to her and she pulled herself to her feet despite the protest of her injured leg. He let it roll off his shoulders though and went to the counter where a large crock pot was on. He grabbed a bowl from the cupboard above the counter and started filling it with some kind of white sauce covered pasta. When it was half full he stuck a fork in it. There's a weapon.

She was painfully aware that most of the eyes in the room still lingered on her as Dwight wordlessly held the bowl out to her. Though, she made no move to take it.

"You gonna eat, or not?" he asked when she still didn't move.

"What do I have to do for it?" she asked and he smirked.

"Come on," he told her, "You already know the answer to that." Do as you're fucking told.

With no other option available, she took the bowl. He grabbed the top of her arm and led her past a scowling Simon to a table occupied by another man shuffling a deck of cards. He wore a white t shirt, gold rimmed glasses and his dark hair was shaved close to his scalp. "This is Lamar," Dwight said, gesturing to the other man who gave her a nod before taking a drink of his beer. "Lamar, this is Lily. Eat." The latter part was directed at her as he lightly pushed her into a chair and went back to presumably fetch himself his own dinner. She placed the bowl on the table and contemplated whether or not her stomach could actually handle any amount of food in it without it coming back up.

"You one of those strong, silent types, Lily?" came the deep voice that belonged to the man to her right. She met his brown eyes with her blue ones and he gave her a smirk that accented his high cheekbones. "Cause that shit's cool an all but it's gonna get old quick."

Something about the way he said it had the corner of her mouth turning up a bit. "Not particularly," she answered him, "It's just been a long day."

"You ain't lyin' about that," he sighed as he started dealing the cards in three piles, one of them in front of her. Other conversations picked up then and she forced herself to relax a bit. She spared a glance around, her eyes landing on Simon who was still staring at her from behind his coffee. While the look in his eyes was slightly less hostile it was nowhere near what she would consider friendly. Dwight joined them at the table, his bowl off to the side as he picked up his cards. "So where'd you come from? We don't get many strays since the other settlements popped up," Lamar asked as he considered the cards in his hand.

"Settlements?" she repeated, unable to hide the surprise in her tone as she looked at the other man.

"She," Dwight cut in, "was living in a fucking store this whole time." Lamar's brows shot up as he repeated the information she'd given Negan hours ago.

"No shit?"

She nodded as she arranged the cards in her hand, "Til this past spring when I was forced to relocate."

"The dead break in?" Lamar asked.

"No, a fucking bear if you can believe that shit," she said with a shake of her head as she discarded two cards from her hand before drawing two new ones from the top of the deck. Three kings, a jack and a two decorated her hand. "I'd much rather face the dead. What the fuck am I supposed to do against a bear?"

Lamar laughed before taking another drink of his beer, "Think you did the only thing you coulda done." He said.

"That store is first stop on tomorrow's to-do list," Dwight told him.

"And the gun shop next to it," she added, "Most of the inventory was still intact when I left."

"The new savior comes bearing fruits," Lamar drawled sarcastically and she smirked back at him. 

"Yeah, I'm a regular well of information," she said. Another glance around told her that most of the saviors had long abandoned her conversation in favor of their own activities.

"Speaking of information," Dwight said suddenly, earning her attention. "How did you get out of those handcuffs?" he asked her. She knew she had to tell him the truth, one of the rules that had been drilled into her mind by Negan was no lying. She smirked at him before setting her cards face down on the table. Her hands went to her hair and she started pulling the pins out of her blonde locks and dropping them to the table. Six in total and Lamar laughed.

"That's clever as shit," he said and she smiled at him.

"Prove it," came Simon's harsh voice from across the room. He left the counter he'd been leaning against to cross the short space separating him from her table. His brown eyes narrowed as he pulled a pair of handcuffs out of his back pocket and tossed them onto the table. The sound of the heavy cuffs was a sharp sound in the relatively quiet room. "Well go on."

"Why?" she asked and his face twisted into a devilish smirk. 

He leaned both of his hands flat on the table and spoke in a low voice, "Because I said so."

She held his gaze until he rose his brows, daring her to disobey him. Reluctantly she picked up the cuffs and closed one of them around her left wrist, the same one that had been chained to the bed. She took one of her pins and used her teeth to bend the flat part while rolling her eyes. In less than a minute the lock was open and she held the handcuffs out before letting them loudly fall to the center of the round table. "Satisfied?"

"Watch it," Dwight warned and she had to remind herself that while they might be cool so far, his loyalty obviously laid with his fellow superior.

But Simon was unbothered by the sharpness in her voice. Instead he gave her a smile, albeit a sarcastic one. "Yeah," he told her with a nod, "See, here I thought bringing you in was a waste of time. But you might actually be worth something."

Her lip curled in anger but before she could say anything they were interrupted by the sound of boots coming towards the door. Her eyes went to the source of the sound and she watched as the man she'd almost killed a little while earlier walk in followed by a woman with short blonde hair.

His eyes spotted her in the small room immediately and he gave her the dirtiest of looks. "Bitch," he said as he grabbed a mug from the counter top and started filling it with coffee from the pot.

"What did you call me?" she asked, already halfway out of her seat and heart pounding when Dwight's hand closed around her forearm. 

"Sit down, Lily," he warned, gaining her attention. She met his eyes and saw the warning in them, "And put the god damned fork down." She didn't even realize she'd grabbed it from the bowl but sure enough, her eyes went to her hand and saw her fingers were closed around it's handle in a tight grip.

She took a deep breath and looked around, all eyes were on the exchange. Reminding herself that she was still outnumbered, she reluctantly sank back into her chair and stabbed the pasta with the fork before bringing it to her mouth. She gave the red haired man a forced smile as she took a bite of her pasta and she felt Dwight's grip leave her arm.

"Don't start, John. You're already in enough shit with Negan. And now you wanna pile on by fucking with Blondie?" It was Simon that spoke and Lily's head snapped up immediately to glare at him. He didn't even look back at her but apparently Simon's warning was enough because John shot her one more dirty look before retreating to a table of his own, coffee cup in tow.

It was instinct for her eyes to follow him, all too aware of the hot liquid swimming in his cup. She would keep a loose eye on him until he finished drinking it or it cooled. Whichever happened first. Though her previous experience with nearly boiling liquids was water and not coffee, it left a lasting impact. Lily learned at an early age, anything can be used as a weapon if you're determined to hurt somebody.

Simon took his leave and the card game continued. She managed to eat a few bites of her food, which she felt like hurt her nervous stomach rather than helped it and when she could eat no more, Dwight walked her back to her room for the night. She laid in her new bed and stared at the off white ceiling, knowing she wouldn't sleep at all.


	4. Pour Some Sugar On Me

Lily was sitting on the ground with her head tilted back against the wall of the factory behind her, daydreaming about a cigarette when she heard footsteps approaching. A quick look at the watch on her wrist, courtesy of Dwight, told her it was six fifteen and she'd been there nearly an hour now. The watch was old and tacky but necessary. Apparently all the saviors were required to wear them. Gotta be on time to be an asshole.

'Better than a handcuff.' She reminded herself as a pair of boots came into her field of view and her eyes rose to see an angry looking Simon. Though to be fair, she'd only ever seen Simon when he was angry. Props for consistency. He was wearing a dark brown leather jacket to keep the coldness of the late fall air at bay and looking at her like she'd stolen his cookie. "Well?" He encouraged with an expectant wave of his gloved hand. "You want to explain, what you're doing out here." He said, making it sound like a statement rather than a question.

She gave him a confused look. "Sitting. Is that not allowed? Trucks don't leave til seven." She said it like it was obvious. Dwight had already given her the rundown of how it went the night before. Besides, she wasn't about to spend anymore time in her room than was required. The fucking window wouldn't even open.

"I'm well aware of when we leave, Blondie. I want to know why you're not in your room where Dwight left you."

"I didn't realize I needed permission to sit outside."

Suddenly Simon's hands held her vest in a tight grip and she was roughly pulled to her feet. The air in her lungs harshly abandoned her when her back was pushed against the factory wall behind her. His dark brown eyes narrowed, made even more prominent by the dark circles underneath them from when she'd busted his nose the day before. His face was inches from hers when he spoke. "You need permission for everything, sweetheart. Til I decide otherwise." The low tone of his voice was a stark contrast to the smile that decorated his face. She didn't like this. He was too close and she knew he could tell he was getting to her. Her pulse raced and she clenched her teeth, breathing deeply through her nose to steady herself. She needed more space. "Get your fucking hands off me." She spat in a low voice.

"Oh, to be young and stupid." He cooed as one of his hands left her vest. To someone else, it might look like he was about to let her go, but Lily knew different. When you've spent the majority of your life around violence, you learn the subtle hints that something is coming. You can feel the change in a person when it happens. That very last thing that sends them over the edge into red. Sometimes it's a twitch or a sharp exhale, other times it's as simple as a look.

In Simon however, it came in the form of darkened eyes. She barely had enough time to raise her hands around her head before his fist slammed into the wall of the factory behind her, all too close to her face. Her breaths were coming in shaky gasps as she realized what she'd done. She'd flighted. She fucking crumbled and she hated herself for it.

Had it been her father, she would have rose to the challenge. She would have put up a fight. But this man was not her father, not even close. No, this was a new brand of tyranny, the likes of which she'd never seen before. And when she finally lowered her hands, the gaze she was met with terrified her. Not because he was angry or because he'd thrown a punch that wasn't even meant for her. But because he was looking at her like she was a combination lock and he'd just figured out the correct sequence of numbers to open it. Her weakness was on full display and that sinister smile returned to his face.

"Now we're going to try this again." He told her with a nod. And how could he speak so evenly in his rage? He leaned in closer, til his nose nearly touched hers, blocking her vision of anything but his harsh eyes staring back at her. "Negan has me spending precious time keeping an eye on you. So I'm gonna need some reassurances that you're gonna behave. You'll do that for me wont you?"

Her chest felt tight, like the hand that still lingered on her vest was constricting her lungs, denying them of precious air she desperately needed. She gave a nod. She'd behave. She'd do anything for him to back away from her. "Good." He said. His smile grew wider, looking almost genuine. Til his free hand moved from the wall to grab her jaw, his fingertips pressing deep enough into her fair skin to leave bruises. "That's good. But I need you to say it."

"I'll behave." She said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I will."

She could see the change in his eyes, the harsh look melting into genuine amusement at his victory. "See how easy that was?" His firm grip on her vest relented and the hand that held her face moved to give her two degradingly playful pats on the cheek. The sound of boots against dirt had Lily's attention and her head turned in time to see Dwight come around the buildings corner.

"Everything alright?"

"Peachy. Blondie and I were just having a little heart to heart. Weren't we sweetheart?" Now that he wasn't in her face and she could breathe, she could control herself again. She took slow, deliberate breaths as she met Dwight's eyes. "Yeah." She tested her voice, glad that it was even when she spoke. "Didn't think when I came out here for air. My mistake." She didn't need to look, she knew Simon would have a smug expression. Bastard.

"Well since you're so eager to start the day, let's go." Dwight gave a nod in the direction he'd come and she immediately made to follow him. She didn't know either man, but she'd happily take her chances with Dwight. Her waist length, wavy hair hung freely behind her as she quietly walked beside him eager to put distance between her and the complete psycho she now knew to be Simon. The quiet hum of the dead freaks they'd chained to the outside of the fence filled the silence between them. She'd shoved her fists into the pockets of her vest to warm them from the chilly autumn air.

"How's the leg?" Dwight asked her and her brow creased as she tried to figure out his angle. Was their schtick some kind of fucked up good cop bad cop? "Not so bad I can't work." She assured him, keeping her eyes forward. She could see a bunch of the other saviors readying the trucks, four in total and she wondered if that would be enough space for all the food and weapons they would bring back. "Doc's got pain meds if you need em." He said and she felt her stomach do a flip at his tone.

"I'm not an addict if that's what you're implying. That was... a one time thing." She didn't like the sudden turn this conversation took. It was bad enough her moment of weakness had an audience, she didn't want to keep reliving it. But here he was, bringing it up again. "Oh I know you're not. You'd be sweatin' bullets by now if you were. Speaking of bullets.." He trailed off as they came to a stop in front of a slide up aluminum door. Dwight wasted no time in pulling the thick chain off to the side and the aluminum door rose revealing an armory.

"Holy shit." Lily breathed. Her eyes going wide at the sight of the massive stockpile. Lamar was inside, and laughed at her reaction. "Come on in, Lily. Let's get you strapped."

Dwight led her inside where she was given back her own weapons. A machete and two knives but only one of her two handguns. In addition, Lamar got her set up with a nice holster and extra clips she threw in her backpack.

"How's your aim?" Lamar asked her while she held her leather vest out of the way as he tightened the thigh holster she'd picked out. "Don't worry." She said as she watched his hands, not at all trusting the man kneeling in front of her. "My hick dad was a real gun nut if I've ever met one."

"A hick, huh?" He said with another firm tug of the strap as he smirked up at her.

"Well, we are in Virginia."

"Lily." Dwight's voice sounded behind her and she turned around to see him holding two disposable coffee cups, one meant for her. "It's black." He told her as she happily accepted the liquid caffeine. "And since you didn't want to join us for breakfast." He smirked at her while he held out a prepackaged pastry covered in white cream."

"Oh my god." She said, a wide smile overtaking her features. "Is that a Honey Bun?"

"You tell me. You're the one that was holed up in a grocery store for years." He said as she took it from his hand. "Yeah and those were the first to go." She told him with a genuine smile. She tore at the package with her teeth and wasted no time in taking a huge bite of the sweet pastry. She ate in silence, feeling almost normal while she watched the two men finish preparing for the lengthy trip. She'd take these moments of peace without complaint because she had a feeling they were few and far in between.

It was strange to think, if the world hadn't gone to shit, she'd more than likely be doing the exact same thing. Coffee and a Honey Bun. The only difference really being that her handgun would be shoved into the back of her pants, not decorating her thigh in a fancy holster. She did miss her trailer though. And her cat, Colt.

"Any music preferences?" Dwight asked as Lily hopped into the passenger seat of his truck. Well, previously her truck. Aside from now sporting some kind of clear vinyl material for a driver side window, the damned thing barely had a scratch on it. She smiled when she first laid her eyes on the ancient rust bucket that had survived the wreck with only a large dent in the driver side door to show for it. They didn't make em like that anymore, hence Negan's totaled truck. He leaned over the center console and popped the glove box open, revealing a thick CD case full of discs which he placed in her lap before starting the truck. In that moment, she was glad she'd swapped out the stereo the first chance she got. "Not really." She said flipping the cover open. "I'll listen to anything but country. If I want to hear about a guy making love to his tractor, I'll go to the Home Depot."

Dwight was shaking his head when she looked at him. "You're something else, you know that." She shrugged, picking out the third CD in the case. She unfolded the large map he'd given her that had 'STATE OF VIRGINIA' across the top and they pulled out of the Sanctuary while the familiar sound of Def Leppard poured from the speakers.  
.  
"Yes!" Lily exclaimed, pumping her fist with childlike excitement as the store finally came into view. Due to a few navigation errors, it had taken a bit longer than expected to reach their destination. What did they expect though? She wasn't Lewis and fucking Clark. A quick look at her watch told her it was nine fifteen, which wasn't terrible timing for being fifty miles north of where they started two hours prior. "Told you I'd find it." She smirked at her blonde companion while she downed the last bit of her coffee. Their four truck convoy pulled up next to the curb between the two stores. It was nice being away from the sanctuary. She felt like she could breathe again. The cool autumn air blew her blonde hair around her face as she left the truck and she breathed deeply, feeling almost normal again.

Simon was already directing the majority of the saviors to clear out the gun shop when Lily joined Lamar and Dwight in front of the grocery store. The fingers of her right hand flexed beside her holstered Colt 1911. "God I hope that fucking bear isn't still in there." She said to herself and Lamar laughed. He gave her a smirk when she cut her eyes at him. "Hey, you have no idea what it was like waking up to a bunch of noise, thinking some randy had stumbled in here only to open the office door and see a fucking black bear. Fuck that bear." His smile grew wider and she found herself returning it.

"It's alright Lily, if it is in there, it doesn't have much time left. Relax." His index finger gave a light pat to his holstered Glock and she smirked. She liked Lamar, he was cool headed and easy going every time she'd seen him. Predictable. She liked things that were predictable. Her eyes went back to the large glass doors separating them from the supplies inside. The inside of the glass was smeared with old blood, impossible to see the other side. The doors wobbled slightly with the pounding of dead hands against the glass. A dozen or so zip ties secured the handles of the doors to each other. "Okay, there's two dead freaks between the two sets of doors but I have no idea if there's any inside, if they came in the same way the bear did."

"Alright Blondie." Came Simon's voice, all too close to her ear and she suppressed a startle when his palm pat her shoulder in a playful swat. "Let's see what you can do. They're your pets, you take care of them." Her lip curled in anger just from the sound of his voice alone but at least she'd be able to get some aggression out. She unsheathed her machete and one of her knives before approaching the closed doors. A firm swipe of her machete had the cut zip ties scattering at her feet and she took a few cautionary steps back as the dead freaks pushed the doors open. The tattered remains of their uniforms still visible as they shuffled closer. She wasted no time bringing the knife in her left hand into the softened skull of the first dead freak to approach her. The blade was still firmly planted in his head when she brought her machete down on the skull of the second. With that, she removed her blades from the dead and wiped the flat sides of her bloody machete on the top of her jean covered thigh to clean it before sheathing it.

She kept her knife handy as she stalked forward. She wanted one of her hands free in case she needed her gun. There was plenty of food when she left, she wouldn't be shocked if the fucking bear was just hanging out in aisle three like it was nobody's business. At the next door, she sawed through the second set of zip ties, which took a bit longer than the machete would have but it made little difference for the outcome. The dead freaks were dealt with and she heard the others approaching behind her as she cautiously pulled the door open. It was quiet when she stepped inside and the group was hit by a foul odor.

"What the fuck is that smell?" Lily exclaimed, placing her flannel covered forearm over her mouth and nose as her eyes searched for the source.

"I think that's your bear friend." Lamar said to her right, his voice straining from the smell. The group of saviors didn't have to travel far to find it either. It was laying half decomposed in the drink aisle, busted containers of soda all around it. Lily audibly gagged when the sweet scent of the soda mixed with the dead bear and she immediately removed herself from that aisle. She moved back towards the way they'd come and sheathed her knife to lay her palms flat on the register's belt. She breathed through her nose, which was still unpleasant because of the smell but at least she wasn't getting the soda anymore.

"Don't throw up your Honey Bun. Don't throw up your Honey Bun." She chanted to herself. "Think about other things. Things you like. Like, cats. Cats are cool. Honey Buns are bomb. Gin and vermouth. Menthol cigarettes. God, I need a cigarette."

An exhaled laugh caught her attention then and she turned her head to see Dwight leaning against the Pepsi cooler at the end of the register lane. "Weak stomach?" He asked, smirk firmly set into his expression.

"I was fine til the soda thank you very much. That was fucking disgusting." She said and even in the dim light provided by the morning sun pouring through the doors, she could see the genuine smile he gave her. He nodded for her to follow him and she did. "I gotta admit, I wasn't expecting to find this much stuff here." He said.

"Well, most of it needs to be cooked, ya know. I wasn't about to start a fire or anything and attract more dead freaks." She told him as they toured the rest of the grocery store. "I mostly stuck to the canned stuff and bottled water."

"And the Honey Buns, right?"

"Duh."

She could hear Simon's voice as he spoke with Lamar a few aisles over but it was much too low to make out actual words. Though, going off the fact he walked out of the front doors soon after it probably had something to do with checking on the saviours that were currently emptying the gun shop. She toured the store with Dwight, taking short inventory of how much was salvageable, which was quite a lot since only one person and one bear had been it's occupant. Except for the dead freaks, but they didn't eat real food so they don't count. "This is where I spent most of my time." She said as they came to a stop outside the manager's office. Lamar joined them as they were at the front of the store again. She turned the lever and pushed the heavy door open

It was weird enough having people at the store with her. But having them in the room she'd slept in for so long felt weirdly intimate. "What's that?" Dwight asked, pointing to the wall that was decorated with hundreds of tally marks she'd made with her knife. "Days. I was counting them." She shrugged.

"Is it accurate?" Lamar asked from her left and she shook her head. "No, I lost track sometime after five hundred. Didn't really seem important anymore."

"Well Blondie, I gotta say I'm impressed." Came Simon's voice from the doorway. "What the fuck is that?" He asked, the tone of his voice had everyone's attention focused on the full shopping bags piled in the corner.

"That was my bed." It seemed obvious to her, she had to sleep somewhere, right? Can't sleep standing up like a god damned horse.

"You slept in trash?" Dwight asked and her eyes narrowed at his accusing tone.

"It's not trash." She snapped. "It's balled up shopping ads inside bags. One time the county fucked up our food stamps and my dad had to buy food so the electricity got shut off. It was winter so me and my brother put newspaper between our blankets at night for insulation. Same concept." She shrugged.

Everything was fine til she met Dwight's eyes again. Her brow creased as she studied his expression. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Cause that's fucked up, Lily."

"What, your parents paid all their bills on time?" She rolled her eyes.

He didn't say anything. Just kept looking at her with that face. That fucking face. The face of pity. He pitied her. "Stop it." If there was one thing Lily hated, it was people pitying her. She'd gotten by just fine in her life. Her childhood was fucked but it taught her and her brother how things were in the real world, not some fantasy other people clung to to delude themselves into thinking their lives were perfect. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Lily."

While Simon's rage might have come in the form of darkened eyes, Lily's started in her chest. It was a burning sensation that made her pulse race and her palms sweat. Outwardly, it would appear as if she were normal, but inside, she was already seeing red. Robotically she turned and left the small office, her lungs gripped in a fiery blaze that was already well on it's way to consuming her. Her hearing ceased and she passed a general merchandise stand, grabbing one of the skillets off a hook as she made her way out the front door of the store.

_red light, yellow light, green-a-light go_  
_Crazy little woman in a one man show_

The parking lot was tiny so she didn't have to walk far to find a stray vehicle. The passenger side window was the first to go, glass bounced off the pavement as she made her way around the vehicle releasing her aggression onto the inanimate object. When the headlights were out she went for the hood, dent after dent marred the cheap metal of the tiny silver Toyota Corolla. The appearance of the dents in the thin metal fueled her anger rather than extinguish it. Some small part of her brain was aware that her fingers were numb from the many impacts of the skillet against the car. And when she brought the skillet down again and the fucking handle snapped, it was almost too much to bear.

She unsheathed her knife and forced it into the skull of the car's snarling occupant. Yanking the driver's side door open, she all but cut the dead freak out of his seat belt before throwing the rotting corpse onto the pavement. Straddling the dead freak on the ground, she drover her knife into it's mushy skull over and over and over again until there was little more that a puddle of goop where the head should have been. Her blade repeatedly struck against the goo covered pavement and finally her rage was extinguished.

The whole ordeal couldn't have taken more than six or so minutes. The red dissipated and the cool autumn air hit her face, chilling her from the sweat that had her shirt sticking to her skin. She wiped her blade against the dead freak's half rotted clothing before she sheathed it. With a newly cleared head she got to her feet and turned back to the store.

She was met with a dozen pairs of eyes but one stood out the most. She locked eyes with Simon who, like the others had been watching her performance. A wide smile stretched across his face and he looked at her like she'd just given him the winning Powerball numbers..


	5. Bad Company

The sudden pull of her seatbelt against her bruised chest startled Lily awake with a sharp pain. She'd been in a deep sleep and her hand hovered the handle of her knife as she tried to get her bearings. Her pulse raced, that instinctual internal warning that something is wrong. A line of trucks passed her on the right and she realized she was still in the cab of the old rusted up Ford with Dwight, on their way back from clearing out the store. He'd pulled over suddenly and now they sat, idling on the left side of the road. "What's wrong?" Lily asked him, her blue eyes sweeping their surroundings for dead freaks. 

"Back tire busted," he said into his walkie talkie. Was that all? Easy peasy. She wasn't going to sit pretty and wait for help when she could do it herself. 

"I'm on it," she told him before opening the passenger side door, the hinge giving way with a loud creak as she hopped out of the aging truck. She raked her fingers through her blonde hair, pushing it back and the cool autumn breeze hit her face and neck. The sudden change in temperature from the warm truck to the much cooler air caused goosebumps on the skin of her upper chest that was exposed to the cold. With one foot on the back wheel, she climbed over the side of the truck's bed in search of the spare tire she knew would be buried under the many boxes of Pop Tarts and Hamburger Helper. Wasting no time, she quickly dug through the pile of prepackaged food and found the tire. She tossed the heavy ass spare over the side of the truck bed just as Dwight was coming around. His hands quickly reached out to steady the damn thing when it hit the ground. Lily already had the wrench and jack in each of her hands and was hopping down when one of the other savior's trucks pulled up.

Ignoring the fallen leaves scattered across the ground, Lily wasted no time crawling under the truck to set the jack in place behind the rear passenger wheel. When she emerged from beneath the Ford, Dwight started pumping the crank to raise the truck and Lamar was leaning out the driver side window of his own vehicle. "Ya'll good?" he asked and Lily's eyes did a sweep of her right and left sides to check for dead freaks before taking the wrench to the lug nuts. 

"Yeah, just keep an eye out," she called out to the savior behind her.

"You got it, Lily," Lamar answered. Not that she would leave it up to them, her eyes would still wander left and right as she unscrewed the bolts with the large wrench. She'd known Dwight for a day, Lamar even less, so they hadn't exactly established a trusting relationship yet. Though, the fact that Dwight resembled James so much did fuck with her head a little. She trusted him on impulse when Negan asked her who she was. That was a first. The only person she'd ever put that kind of blind faith in was her brother, hence the total mind fuck. God, she missed him. But being around Dwight did soften the blow a little. 

"Jesus Christ Lily. Is there anything you can't do?" Dwight asked and she laughed. Her first genuine laugh in... shit, how long? 

"I don't think there's anything special about changing a tire, Dwight. Besides, you're my boss. I'm supposed to do all the work, right?" She grinned up at him while she shoved the first two lug nuts into her vest's pocket, "Anyways my dad was a mechanic. It would be pretty embarrassing if I couldn't change a tire." It was the first time he'd spoken to her since he'd been an asshole to her in the manager's office of the store. Mostly, he'd been pretty quiet as they loaded the truck, only speaking a few words to Simon and Lamar. But, he probably just felt bad for being an ass. Lily didn't hold grudges though, she always got over stuff easily enough. She'd been over it for a while now, she was just waiting for him to stop being weird about it.

"Okay," he said as she put the last lug nut into her pocket and started wiggling the tire loose, "that explains the tire, what about the handcuffs?" The tire was being stubborn so his hands shot out to help pull it off. When the truck was free of it's busted appendage, he helped her place the new tire on and she immediately went to replacing the lug nuts. 

"Easy," she said while screwing them on with her hands to start, "My brother was going to be a cop. Til he realized he'd probably just wind up arresting either myself or our dad and he quit his training at the last second and joined the army instead." 

"You get arrested a lot, Lily?" Dwight asked as she took the wrench to the nuts to tighten them, alternating between them every few turns to keep the pressure even. 

She smirked at her blonde companion. "Not even once." She'd come close a few times, but she was lucky enough to talk her way out of things both times she'd been pulled over while carrying questionable cargo. Which was definitely a good thing. Lily probably wouldn't fare too well in a cell. Not enough breathing room.

"All set," she told him after a final turn of her wrench. Dwight lowered the jack and they threw their equipment back in the bed of the truck. They thanked Lamar and got back inside the still warm truck. Dwight wasted no time starting it up and getting back on the road to the sanctuary. Lily closed her eyes to the sound of glam metal band Warrant of which she wasn't a huge fan. She did like their song Cherry Pie though. 

Lily's watch told her it was just after three in the afternoon when they made it back to the sanctuary. Negan was standing on the back steps of the factory when she left the warmth of the truck. And even though he was quite a bit away from her, she could still see the white of his teeth from his wide smile. Everyone went to their knees at the sight of him and reluctantly, so did Lily. 

"As you were," he called out as he started his march down the steps, god damned baseball bat in tow. Fuck that bat. She rounded the truck and grabbed the handle of the tailgate to lower it. She went to work with the other saviors unloading the trucks of food and weapons. Her leg was as sore as ever as she dropped off the last box in their massive pantry. She pitied the saviors that actually had to go through it all and log it. That would fucking blow.

She turned around and was surprised to see Dwight, Negan and Simon entering the pantry. Just fucking great. Her teeth clenched in response to the possible threat. Dwight was cool so far but as far as the other two went, one of them at a time was more than enough of a headache. Negan was pretty easy to please so far, but Simon was down right unpredictable. Who knew what bullshit he'd filled Negan's head with. If he told her what happened between them in the morning, she was probably fucked. Still, she took a knee at the sight of her bosses boss, hoping to get this little post mission meeting over with as soon as possible. 

"Why the long face, sweetheart?" Negan's smile stretched his face at the sight of her kneel and it took everything in her not to roll her eyes. What an absolute power tripping dickhead. 

"Just thinking it can't be a good thing to see the three of you together. Don't think the odds are exactly in my favor here." Her eyes went to the other two. Simon was sporting his signature dirty look but Dwight seemed unbothered so maybe she didn't have to worry. 

"Are you kidding?" There was amusement in his tone and he motioned for her to stand and she did, tense and ready for whatever he was about to do to her, or have her do. He made to put an arm around her but stopped, his arm hanging in the air like a fucking weirdo. "God damn Lily. You smell like shit." She looked down at herself and her pale fingers ran down the length of her vest, coming away with dirt and old, brown blood. 

"Couple dead freaks," she said, rubbing her fingers together in an attempt to dispel the grime that clung to them without luck. She made a face and wiped her fingers on her dirty jeans which worked well enough.

Her eyes went back to Negan's who was watching her with amusement, "So we now find ourselves in a situation where we have enough food and supplies to last the winter and that's exactly the kind of shit that makes my dick twitch. So Lily, how can I reward you for your help?" 

"Reward? I don't understand," she admitted, her eyes going between the three. This had to be a trap. Getting a reward on her second day? Yeah, that's a thing that happens. Fat chance.

"A reward, is something someone is given for services provided," he explained, like she was ignorant of the concept. Like he wasn't being shady as fuck. "I take care of my people," he went on, "and don't worry, Simon and Dwight have already chosen their rewards for bringing you in and setting this whole thing in motion. So, come on. Chop. Chop." Her brow creased. She wasn't convinced.

"Is this one of those things where I tell you something I want just for you to say no, try harder next time?" She hated that shit. One of her golden rules was never get your hopes up. Asking for things was hoping. 

Dwight exhaled a laugh. "No Lily, it's real," he said, coming to stand next to her, "What was it you said you liked, Honey Buns, martinis and menthols?"

"Honey Buns, martinis and menthols it is!" Negan exclaimed, clearly ready to be done with the conversation. "And some clothes, cause those ones," he pointed the barbed end of his bat at her, "are gross as shit. Wait a second." he said, pausing as he considered her with a hard look. 'Here it comes.' She thought, getting ready for the punch line. "Are you two related?" he asked, waving his bat between the two blondes. 

"No," Dwight answered him, "never seen her before the wreck."

"Are you sure? Cause you two look a lot a like.. Long lost cousins?" he pressed and Lily shrugged. "Anyways, give Dwighty boy here your weapons and go get that leg looked at. You're favoring it when you walk." Her brow creased but she wasted no time turning over her Colt and blades before leaving the huge pantry. She knew she was far from limping. She had a high pain tolerance. He would have had to be paying close attention to see her react to it in any sort of way and she didn't know what irritated her more. The fact that he called out her sore leg in front of everyone or the fact that he was watching her close enough to notice.

"Right here Lily," Dwight said, pointing to the same spot at the table she'd occupied the night before when she walked into the savior's makeshift break room. A martini was sitting on the table and she smiled at the sight of it. She made her way over, ignoring the tall mustache having man that she was sure was giving her a dirty look behind his stupid fucking coffee. Fucking Burt Reynolds wanna-be. She wanted to slap that mug right out of his hands. 

"How's it goin Lily?" Lamar asked her when she reached the table.

"Doc says it's fine but my tattoo is fucked." Lily said, irritation heavy in her tone as she flopped dramatically into the chair between Dwight and Lamar. Her freshly washed hair hung behind her and she was dressed in a new red flannel and dark wash skinny jeans. Lily was beyond pissed and her body language showed it. Her book connected with the table in a loud slap and she crossed her arms against her chest. It was the first time she'd seen the damn thing herself and sure enough, the gash ran right through the large octopus that covered the majority of her left thigh. She shouldn't have even looked, she knew it was fucked. But that morbid curiosity got the better of her. She looked, and now she was pissed.

"That sucks," Dwight offered and she gave him a 'ya think?' look. 

'Welcome to the Jungle' poured from the speakers of the small stereo in the corner and she was glad someone else had some good taste in music. She took an experimental sip of the martini and oh, it was good. It was in the proper glass and everything. The apocalypse was weird. She really thought Negan was fucking with her about the reward but when she got back from the doc's makeshift office, sure enough there was a pile of shit on her bed. Carton of menthol Camels, bottle of vermouth and gin, like six flannels, two pairs of jeans and a whole box of Honey Buns. Even better was the fact that the clothes were her size. Which was awesome cause she had new clothes, but weird that someone else knew her size. She assumed Dwight was the one to drop the stuff off. Negan wouldn't do anything that could even remotely be considered work and Simon was a major dick.

Dwight and Lamar were in the middle of a card game so she would have to wait to join the next one. So she picked up her book to read for the thousandth time and no sooner had she opened the paper cover, some dickhead that was walking by spilled his drink on her freshly clothed arm. "What the fuck, man?!" She exclaimed, holding her now soaked sleeve away from her.

"Sorry, let me get that for you," the brown haired, brown eyed man said. He looked older than her, maybe thirty something and not at all her type. He looked very plain to Lily. Like, the kind of guy that runs a RadioShack. She wondered how he even became one of the saviors in the first place. 'Sorry? Bet your ass you're gonna be.' His hand immediately shot out like he was about to somehow remove the liquid that had already soaked into her shirt. She pulled her arm away before he could touch her. Who the fuck touches a stranger? "I'm Joey. Skinny Joey. Sorry about that." She recognized the look he gave her and didn't miss when his eyes raked over her body. 'Keep lookin buddy.' She thought when his eyes lingered on her chest. She was a B cup on a good day. Her lip curled in anger as she regarded the complete jackass that ruined her brand new fucking shirt just to presumably hit on her. 

"Well, Joey. Skinny Joey." She said, mocking him in her best James Bond voice. "Is this one of those things where the guy pulls the girl's hair because he's too much of a dickhead to admit he likes her? Because if you think forcing me to smell your shitty bottom shelf liquor on my shirt all night is going to turn me on, I have bad news for you." With a roll of her eyes, she turned away from him in favor of taking another sip of her drink. Dwight was shaking his head, his lips pressed into a flat line beside her as he considered the cards in front of him. 

The woman sitting in a chair at the next table over choked on her alcohol. She coughed before fisting her chest. "Holy shit!" She exclaimed in a hoarse voice as the man retreated to another table full of other saviors. She held a hand out for her to shake. "That, was fucking awesome. I'm Arat." Lily grinned, taking the offered hand. "Lily."

"Oh, I heard about you." She said and Lily raised her glass to the woman. "I'll drink to that." 

"That was cold blooded, Lily. You're gonna fit in real good here." Lamar muttered before taking a drink of his Pabst Blue Ribbon and she smirked. Setting her glass down, she rolled her sleeves up, revealing part of the tattoo that covered the full length of her left arm. Daisies and poison ivy decorated her skin in black ink. She would have gotten more but her buddy royally fucked up what was supposed to be the paw print on her calf. How do you fuck up a paw print? Somehow, the guy did and now Lily was scarred for life. Both literally and figuratively. Her punishment for trying to be nice and letting him 'practice' on her. She was done with needles after that. And now, thanks to Dwight and Simon colliding with her truck, she was left with two fucked up tattoos and one good one.  
She realized she was becoming comfortable with her surroundings. She had to be, to drink around her new companions. Not that she planned on having more than the one martini. But a small part of her mind reminded her that her martini glass could be used as a weapon if she needed it. That, and the lighter sitting in her back pocket beside a pack of her Camels. "I'm going to smoke. Wanna come?" It was Arat that spoke. She was already out of her seat and donning a black Carhart jacket when Lily realized she was talking to her.

"Uh, hell yeah." She answered and was about to get up before Simon's warning flashed in her mind and she reluctantly turned to Dwight to ask permission. Way to make someone feel like they're five, Simon, you absolute jackass. "Is that cool?" She asked him. She hated having to ask, it was so degrading. Dwight looked up at Arat over his cards. "You got a walkie?" He asked her and she pulled her jacket away, revealing the small radio on her belt. He nodded. "Yeah. It's cool." 

"Yes!" She pumped her fist in her excitement and immediately hopped up to follow the other blonde woman outside. Her eyes wandered on her way out and she saw Simon smirking at her like he'd just beaten her at a game and she rolled her eyes the second she was sure he wouldn't see. Bastard.


	6. Outside

Lily's boots crunched in the freshly fallen snow as she was leaning far over the front of Dwight's adopted truck. The sleeves of the green flannel she wore under her vest were rolled up to her elbows while the fair skin of her hands were smeared in dark, sticky fluids. The hood was popped and she'd spent her morning topping off the various liquids for something to do. The snow had stopped falling some time during the night, only accumulating a little more than an inch. But it left a soft blanket of white covering the landscape. If it weren't for the dead freaks scattered across the length of the chain link fence, Lily would of thought it pretty.

She'd been off house arrest for over a week now and while Lily was more than elated to finally gain a little freedom, it also came with a need to fill the time with activities. She never did like being idle for too long and it showed when she found any and every excuse to work, even when it wasn't required. Like, now for instance.

The price of her new found freedom was small, but annoying. The walkie that now decorated the waistband of her holster felt more like an ankle bracelet, keeping her on call and attached to the sanctuary, Simon and Negan at all times.

She'd put a Nirvana Nevermind CD in the truck's disc player to drown out the sound of the moaning dead freaks chained to the fence and was singing along to 'Lithium' as she closed the hood of the truck. Next on her to-do list was changing the rear driver's side tire. She'd noticed it was forming cracks and figured it was better to change it now while she had a little free time. Another good thing about the end of the world, plenty of spare tires to go around.

Skinny Joey was the sanctuary's official mechanic and was a little too excited to find out Lily knew a few things herself. Though she did tell him in advance, if it wasn't a stereo, fluids or tires she was pretty much useless. But he still enlisted her help whenever he needed an extra hand. Which wasn't the worst thing, because he always seemed to need an extra hand and Lily had plenty of free time so it worked out. Even better was the fact that he didn't try any more cheesy pickup shenanigans, instead he actually tried talking to her, and to her surprise he was actually an okay guy. That didn't mean he stopped hitting on her. He still did, he just wasn't as much of an ass about it.

Lily had never given much thought to the apocalypse before it happened. Who would, right? But if she had imagined one, it wouldn't have been anything like the one she was currently living in. She'd adjusted to her new normal well enough, going on supply runs and visiting the outlining communities for pickup days. The work wasn't particularly hard, but it could be demanding at times. Like when Lily was forced to take her first life, under Simon's command of course. A scavenger at the Junkyard community. But she dealt with that the same way she'd dealt with the other unpleasant things her life had dished out to her. She pushed it down into some dark pit of her mind where she could ignore it. Because if she could ignore it, she could endure it.

She was tightening the last of the bolts when an eager Arat appeared holding two steaming cups of coffee. "Hey you." Lily said to her bleach blonde companion as she threw her tools into the truck's bed. They'd become fast friends in the month Lily had spent as a savior. Dwight and Lamar were cool and all, but it was nice to have a woman around to talk to. A few of the other saviors were beginning to arrive, readying their own vehicles and she saw Simon step out the factory's back door and light up a smoke.

She rolled her eyes at the sight. That whole situation hadn't changed much. He was really something else. Sometimes he was bearable to be around and other times the vibe he'd put out was down right psychotic. Ever since he'd learned of Lily's issues with personal space, he used it to his full advantage whenever the opportunity rose to do so. He'd corner her against something, get in her face and refuse to move til she'd agreed to whatever bizarre request he'd dished out to her.

"Figured you'd be out here, again." Arat said as Lily enthusiastically accepted the offered cup of steaming coffee. "Well, you know me." Lily said with a smirk as she wiped each of her hands on her jeans, trying her best to clean them. "You seen Dwight?" She asked the much shorter woman who was lighting up a smoke of her own. Dwight was the new constant in her life. He effectively filled the massive void left behind by her brother.

"Nah." She said after taking her first drag. "Think it's just you and me with these losers today." Lily exhaled a laugh before her attention was stolen by a familiar voice. "Losers? That's pretty fucked up Arat." Joey appeared at Lily's side and when her blue eyes met his, he smiled warmly at her.

"I said what I said." Arat responded and Lily laughed. "Careful, Skinny. She might just tell you how she really feels." Lily landed a playful punch on Joey's arm and he smiled widely.  
Simon opened the driver side door of Dwight's truck and slid into the seat.

"Come on Blondie. Let's go." She faced him then, smirk firmly in place as she put her free hand on her jean covered hip. "You know you're talking to two women with blonde hair. How are we supposed to know who you mean?"

"Get. In. Now." He said, enunciating each word separately in his warning and all without meeting her eyes. His rosy attitude was on full display to the saviors around them. Lily just rolled her eyes, her signature response to pretty much everything he said to her.

"Fine. But I have 'your love' by The Outfield stuck in my head. So I guess I'll just have to sing it to get it out." She quipped before rounding the vintage truck. She opened the passenger door and she realized she really needed to ask Joey to do something about that god awful squeaky hinge as she slid into the seat. She shut her door and already the heat the cab offered started to warm her. It was definitely a welcome change from the cold. She set her coffee into the center console before audibly clearing her throat.

_"Josie's on a vacation far away. Come around and talk it over. So many things that I want to say-"_

A firm hand clamped down on her mouth, effectively muting the sound that escaped her and she could smell the cigarette he'd finished a moment ago, it's scent lingering on his fingers that rest just below her nose. "Thin ice, Lily." Oh and he used her name too. He must have been serious. His warm hand left her face and she gave him a smirk before dramatically raising her left wrist with a wave of her hand to check the time. She noticed that her hand was still smeared with remnants of the oil she'd been handling earlier. "Wow. It's only six fifty. New record for sure."

She quickly learned that while he took any and every opportunity to make her life more annoying, he wouldn't actually harm her. Negan wasn't fucking around when he said he took care of his people. Simon's leash was just as short as everyone else's. Not only that, Lily busted her ass for the sanctuary. Which basically meant she was free to be just as annoying back to him. And Lily was never one to let an opportunity slide.

He took a deep breath and started the truck. A smug smile crossed her face as she turned her attention to Dwight's massive CD collection. She'd need something a little more upbeat than Nirvana if she was going to be stuck in the truck with Simon for any length of time. She flipped through the case as Simon pulled out of the sanctuary. A wide smile stretched across her face when she laid her eyes on the nineteen seventy eight 'Parallel Lines' album. Lily quickly ejected the Nirvana disc and replaced it with the new one and pressed play.

She watched his face and the song wasn't ten seconds in before he shook his head and ejected the disc. "Try again." He said in that low voice of his, without sparing a glance in her direction. She pressed her lips together firmly to keep from laughing. "What?" She asked innocently.

"What part of thin ice-"

"Alright. Alright." She said, before he could go off on her. She swapped out the Blondie album for ACDC and they rode the rest of the way in silence.

Lily hooked up with Arat the second the vehicles came to a stop in the center of a subdivision lined with fancy houses. Of course Lily's first experience with houses this nice would come after the apocalypse. Shit, this place was nothing like the broken down neighborhood she'd grown up in. She was partial to her trailer though, it had those nice fake marble countertops like in the saviors break room. It even had a tiny kitchen island where Lily kept a few plants. Succulents of course, because anything else she brought in the house was pretty much guaranteed to die. She wasn't that good at remembering to maintain things. The only reason her cat lived was because he meowed whenever his bowl was half empty.

The saviors paired up while Simon stayed on lookout. Arat and Lily made their way into one of the houses. They'd been on enough runs together by now that they worked perfectly together. Once the house was clear of dead freaks Lily took the upstairs while Arat took the downstairs. They searched the place, looking for anything of use. Food, meds, tools, basically anything that could come in handy in an apocalypse. Lily found a bunch of meds in the upstairs bathroom. Apparently whoever lived in the house prior to the fall had some serious issues with pain.

After clearing out the medicine cabinet, she made her way to the master bedroom where she found a revolver in the deteriorating hands of who Lily assumed was the house's previous owner. Only one bullet had been fired from the gun, apparently getting the intended job done. So, while holding her shirt up to her nose to escape the rotting smell, Lily relieved the corpse of it's weapon and made her way outside to the truck. She dumped her findings into a milk crate in the back of Dwight's truck and blew hot air into her cold fingers, rubbing them together to warm them before she was unexpectedly and roughly pushed out of the way. She stumbled before catching herself on the edge of the truck's tailgate.

"Hey! What the fuck?" Lily exclaimed when John gave her a nasty look before setting a bag of tools next to the crate. "You wanna watch where you're going, asshole?" She asked when he didn't say anything. He glared at her with his plain brown eyes. At least Simon's eyes had emotion in them, but not John's. His brown eyes were blank and unfeeling. It was like being glared at by a void.

"You'd better watch your mouth before you get hurt, Lily." The venom in his voice was palpable as he nearly growled his response. He wasn't so much bigger than her. She stood a solid five nine, he was probably six foot or so. But he was much bulkier, not that it scared her. Lily was far from intimidated by the man. She gave him a nasty smirk. "If you wanna square up Johnny... just say the word." She pressed her fingers against her palms, cracking the knuckles in both hands. Which, actually felt really good since they were stiff from the cold. It wouldn't be the first time she had to put some dickhead in his place. Probably not the last, either.

He stepped closer then, in an attempt to intimidate her, but all it did was piss her off. Simon only got away with that shit because he was her boss. "Get the fuck back." She growled as she lifted both of her hands to the red head's jean jacket covered chest and shoved him. He was more sturdy than she anticipated, she realized when aside from a step backwards to steady himself, he barely moved. A wicked grin spread across his face as he glared down at her. "You're gonna regret that." He cooed darkly and her right hand curled into a tight fist which she wasted no time throwing at his left cheek. His face didn't even turn, which was more than disappointing to Lily.

She saw the flash of anger though and his much larger, gloved hands grabbed her vest roughly. He pulled her towards him before launching her at the cold ground. She caught herself on her palms, the sharp icy gravel cutting into the soft flesh there. She felt that heat, that anger in her chest and she forced herself up from the ground and jumped on him.

"What the fuck is going on here?" It was Simon's harsh voice that cut through the angry haze in Lily's mind. Lily cringed at the sound, oh he was pissed, again. His hand closed tightly around her wrist and pulled her away from the red head on the ground, who was now sporting a bloody lip. He walked the few steps back to the truck and pushed Lily backwards into it's tailgate. The edge dug painfully into her lower back as he glared down at her. Her free hand pushed against his chest as he leaned far over her, his harsh eyes narrowed into slits, glaring down at her.

"What did I fucking tell you?!" He roared in her face and she fought the urge to shield herself from his anger. She clenched her teeth, turning her face from him. The nearby saviors could do nothing but watch as his right hand roughly clamped down on her jaw, digging painfully into her skin and forced her to face him. She winced. "Answer me!" The fight and flight responses were still at war in her mind, she was at a loss for what to do.

"He deserved it! He fucking pushed me!" She yelled back, finding her voice.

"Crazy bitch is lyin' Simon. I never fucking touched her." John spat, glaring at Lily with hatred in his eyes.

"Oh, you lying son of a bitch. I'll kill you!" Lily struggled against the man who held her. Limbs flailing uselessly as she tried to tear herself away from Simon's tight grip. All the while John smiled wickedly at her, thoroughly enjoying his victory.

"That's it!" Simon growled, grabbing her other wrist, holding them together with one hand to keep her in place while his other hand returned to her jaw. "That's the last fucking time Lily. I'm so done with this shit. You so much as think about starting trouble again and I'll hand deliver you to Lucille myself." He was an inch away from her face, those dark eyes bore into her while the truck still dug painfully into her back. He trapped her there, daring her to disobey him and she could see the truth of his words. His jaw was clenched tightly, anger contorting his features from the tension in his body. "Tell me you understand." He demanded and she nodded with clenched teeth. "Say it."

"I understand."


	7. Nobody's Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I tagged this, but I'm still putting this warning here.  
> Sexual assault in this chapter.  
> Not graphic, but it's there.

The next thing Lily registered was the opening of the cell door. And although escaping the darkness that weighed heavily on her was the one and only thing that had consumed her thoughts for what felt like an eternity now, she couldn't find the strength to lift her head to the light. She didn't even know her eyes had been open. But sure enough, she could see the blurry light from the doorway streaming between her legs as her forehead rest on her knees where she sat on the floor of the cell, tucked against the wall.

Her arms were still wrapped securely around her bare legs as heavy footsteps quickly crossed the small, darkened space. "Lily." She flinched when she felt a hand touch her shoulder and she turned her head away from the source of the voice, tucking her face firmly into the crook of her flannel covered elbow. "It's me, Lily. It's Dwight." Her mind registered his words, but the heaviness in her chest still held the majority of her attention. A choked sniffle escaped her and she shut her eyes tightly at the feeling of more moisture welling in them.

One of his hands lifted her face then and more shaky breaths escaped her as the tears fell to join the others she'd previously shed in her time locked in the small, windowless and suffocating room. Her eyes opened to the blonde in front of her. His scarred face set into a deep frown.

"Dwight."

Her voice was hoarse from the screaming and pleading she'd done.

And plead she did, when Simon angrily drug her down the short familiar hallway. She offered anything and everything if he would just please not lock her inside the small room he so lovingly referred to as 'the hole'. It was the very same hallway she walked down just before Negan ordered her to kill John. She never would of guessed that the red head would be the reason she'd be back here. That she would be punished for his transgressions. But here she was, throat raw from screaming and face streaked from the many tears that escaped her.

"Shit, Lily. Let's get you out of here, alright?" Those words sounded so beautiful to her in that moment. She wanted nothing more than to get up from that dirty floor and stroll out of that cell beside Dwight, her head held high in the sky. But not one bit of that was going to happen. "I can't." She told him, forcing the words out of her heavy chest. Her lungs and throat constricting around her words, nearly forbidding them from escaping her. "I can't breathe." More wetness streamed from her eyes, this time out of her own weakness. The saltiness of them stung her busted cheek, but the physical pain was easily ignored.

"I'll help you." Footsteps accompanied the familiar voice, the source of her current misery. But not urgent ones like Dwight's had been, more cautious. Lily's mind refused to acknowledge the voice's owner, like it was trying to protect her from some great threat that hovered close by. Still, her body reacted from instinct alone, jerking back against the wall and Lily felt her stomach do a flip from the sudden movement. She fought the nausea that it brought on. Her blue eyes widened in fear and Dwight's frown deepened at her panicked expression.

"Think you've done enough, Simon." The footsteps stopped immediately at the harsh response. A small part of her mind realized that she'd never heard such venom in Dwight's voice before. He was always relatively calm, that's why she liked him. He was consistent. But that thought was quickly dismissed in favor of concentrating on her constricted lungs. It took so much effort to breathe, Lily didn't know how much longer she could last in such a state. Dwight's arms wrapped around her then and she had no strength to fight him as he pulled her against him. Her left arm found his neck as he lifted her up from the floor of the cell and she wasted no time in turning her face into him, hiding in her moment of weakness. He took a second to steady them before they were moving, crossing the threshold and leaving the cell behind.

Her heart leapt to her throat and a choked sob escaped her at the realization that she was being rescued. Lily had never been rescued before and didn't really know how to handle the euphoric feeling that shot through her, despite the weight that still lingered in her chest.

"Outside." She found her voice again and used it. "Please."

She felt him sigh, his exhale hitting her sweaty skin leaving goosebumps in it's wake. "I can't take you outside Lily, you're not dressed." His tone was regretful. Like he wanted nothing more than to give her what she wanted. She tried again. "Can't breathe. Please." Her voice sounded far away, like it came from someone else. The hoarseness was still present and made her throat hurt every time she spoke. "Please."

Another sigh escaped him, this time in defeat. "Alright, Lily." He said, bringing them to a stop before taking them in another direction. "But just for a minute, okay. You need to see the doc." She nodded weakly, focusing on trying to breathe through her constricted lungs. A moment later she was hit by the icy December air when Dwight carried her out the back door and she inhaled as deeply as she could and let the cool air penetrate her chest.

She summoned as much strength as she could to push herself away from Dwight who immediately scolded her as he tried to hold on to her. "Lily stop! You can't lay on the ground. Fuck. It's freezing out here." But she did. She let herself sink to the snowy ground and rest on her right side, closing her blurry eyes to the dimming evening light as she tried to breathe. Her body felt like it was on fire, her lungs the source of the inferno that had her heart hammering inside her burning chest. She bent her legs and curled into herself, her body continuing to sweat as she laid in the snow.

"Lily."

It was sometime later, a moment, a few moments, an hour, that a foreign hand touched her flannel covered shoulder. She startled from the contact and when she opened her eyes, she was met with the familiar face of Carson, the sanctuary's doctor who was hovering just above her. Part of her mind registered the weight of a stiff material that now covered her previously bare legs. "Lily, can you hear me?" She nodded, the right side of her face still flat against the ground, the snow had melted under her cheek and she could feel the wetness that saturated the majority of her hair. "Good. Can you speak?" She felt the slight pressure of something moving across her back, lingering in place for a few seconds before moving again and she closed her eyes. "Yes." She answered. Her voice was still hoarse from the strain put on her throat, but it worked well enough.

"Do you have panic attacks often Lily?" Her brow creased as she registered what he'd asked her. "I'm not scared." She told him, confused why he would assume that. "I just can't breathe."

"How else do you feel?"

"Sick." She told him as her stomach was still twisting in knots. "And my hands are... tingly." She said, trying to describe the feeling. The nerves in her hands were lit up all over, like they'd fallen asleep and were just waking up. "But my chest hurts the worst."

"Would it be alright if I gave you something for your symptoms?" He asked her and she nodded as vigorously as she could with her face still pressed against the hard, wet ground. She'd agree to just about anything if it promised relief from what she was currently feeling. She heard the good doctor get to his feet and a second later, his retreating footsteps.

"I'm sorry Lily." It was Dwight's voice again though his words were strained. He was close by but she did not open her eyes to find him. "Negan's taking care of him right now. He's not going to hurt you again." She realized that he was trying to comfort her, but she didn't have the strength to tell him that she didn't care about John or what he did. That this right here was so much worse than that. Because what John did, was already in the past. She'd already endured it, so she could ignore it. But this feeling in her chest, the feeling that trapped her against the snowy ground was current. She could not ignore it, because she was still living it.

The doctor returned and administered the medication, which she thought would come in a pill form. Unfortunately, it seemed to only come in the form that was the bane of Lily's existence, a needle. And just when she thought her day couldn't possibly get worse. A sickly amount of saliva gathered in her mouth when she felt the needle penetrate her skin and she probably would have thrown up if she'd had anything in her stomach to do so. It was over quickly enough though and a blanket was placed over her now shivering body, offering warmth to her rapidly cooling skin.

A gentle pressure returned to her back, moving back and forth as it did before. Lily continued to lay where she was on the wet ground and as the minutes passed, the tight pressure in her chest began to ease. Her nausea faded and her hands felt normal again. "How do you feel now Lily?" Carson asked her and it took a second to register what he'd said. Trying to organize her thoughts was especially difficult now that a hazy exhaustion began to settle into her mind.

"Lily?" He pressed for an answer, sounding more urgent the second time.

"Tired." She forced the word out, which was much harder to do than she thought it would be. It came out muffled, like she was speaking under water. "Let's get her inside before her body temperature drops any lower." The doctor's voice was the last thing she heard before the exhaustion took over and she slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The pain registered before Lily even realized she was awake. She groaned, automatically raising her left hand to her face and a hiss escaped her when her fingertips grazed her swollen cheek. She felt like she'd been hit by a truck. Had she really been in another car accident? She wouldn't be surprised to learn this, her luck was shit lately.

"Lily."

She opened her light blue eyes to an off white ceiling at the familiar call of her name. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the harsh florescent light. Once her vision became clear, she realized she was in a familiar exam room laying on the lone cot it had to offer. With a turn of her head to the left, she found Dwight's eyes. He was much closer than she expected, occupying a chair just beside her makeshift bed. He was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, hands together with laced fingers. His close proximity bothered her for some reason, which was strange since it never seemed to before. "Dwight?" Her voice was quieter than she intended when she said his name, like her throat couldn't handle it's full volume.

He sat back in his chair and pulled his walkie from his belt. She studied his face while he spoke quietly to the party on the other side, alerting them that she was awake. Something about the look he was giving her felt.. off. Like, he was expecting her to do something that she wasn't. Her brow creased as she took in the strange vibe. Her eyes were drawn to the sound of the door opening and she saw the doctor enter the room holding a Ziplock bag, filled with a white substance. Snow?

Lily forced herself to sit on the cot, despite her sore body making it's protest. And for some unknowable reason, that was the moment everything came back to her. The intrusive memories forcing themselves on her mind's eye. Her brow creased as her mind replayed John catching her off guard while she was dressing after her shower. How had she not seen him til right before he pushed her against the mirror hard enough to break it and his fist connected with her cheek? Her hands grabbed the thin blanket around her in tight fists and her eyes snapped shut out of frustration. She could have defended herself if she'd seen him coming. He wouldn't of had a chance to put his hands on her. _In her._

"Lily."

God, she was sick with rage. Knowing she'd sliced open his arm with the broken glass didn't even begin to soothe her anger. Because she knew if it had not been for Simon's interruption she could have made him pay. She could of gotten revenge for what he did to her. But no, their fight drew attention and Lily shakily drew a breath as she remembered how Simon immediately took John's side. It gave him the out he needed and then she was thrown in that fucking cell and left there. Tears of frustration welled in her closed eyes and she focused on her breathing to calm herself. In and out. In and out.

"Lily."

No. She couldn't do this. It was over with, already in the past. She couldn't dwell because it would do no good. Things in the past couldn't be changed. 'Ignore it.' She told herself and she did. She pushed it deep down in her mind to where the other unpleasant things were. She was in control she reminded herself. With another deep breath in, she opened her still blurry eyes to the doctor. She blinked a few times to clear her vision and his face was full of concern as he looked her over. Whenever she saw him, she always felt guilty for nearly slitting his throat when they first met. He was actually a really nice man.

"Hi doc." Her greeting must have been a good sign because his aging face relaxed. "Hi, Lily. How are you feeling?" He had the most calm voice too, very soothing. But some doctors were just good at their jobs like that.

Another deep breath in, and she focused on her physical feelings only. "My face hurts." She lifted her hand to her cheek again, wincing as she gingerly pressed her fingers around her swollen cheek. Oh, it was definitely swollen and Lily cringed at the thought of looking in a mirror. She wasn't incredibly vain, but she knew she was decent looking. Blonde hair, blue eyes with that heart shaped face of hers. But pretty or not, no-one wants to see their face all beat up.

"Well, the good news is that nothing appears to be broken." He said in that ever calming voice of his as he brought the bag of packed snow to her cheek. Perks of it being winter. Lily winced from the initial contact, but the cold was immediately soothing to her swollen skin and her hand replaced his, holding the bag in place. That was definitely good news, she thought. She'd been in some nasty fights before, mostly with her father. Though, she couldn't remember walking away with this level of pain. But then again, she'd been lucky enough to see the punches coming, until now anyway.

It was just after midnight when Lily was finally allowed to go back to her room. Dwight informed her that Negan was giving her the following day off. To which she rolled her eyes. The fuck was a day off gonna do? She worked when there was a giant gash in her thigh, so she could work while her face was busted up.

Carson offered the cot to her for the rest of the night, but she refused. Her face was going to hurt either way, though slightly dulled from the ice and medication he'd given her, so she decided it was better to have it hurt in the comfort of her own room. Dwight walked her there and she quickly bid him goodnight before turning her attention to her watch, making sure the alarm was set for the following morning.


	8. What Goes Around, Comes Around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original name for this chapter was Judas. But, YouTube decided to recommend JT, so here we are.

In short, Lily looked like shit. She shouldn't have looked, but she did. She knew just from the feeling alone, it would be bad. And bad it was. After her shower, she stood at the now lone mirror in the bathroom while she dressed. It was difficult to be back in the room but she forced herself to. It wasn't like she could just stop showering, so she clenched her teeth and shoved intrusive thoughts out of her mind. Besides, she'd had her Colt this time around. Even brought it into one of the makeshift shower stalls with her. No more surprises. She pitied whichever worker had to come upstairs to clean the mess of broken glass and blood that was left behind. Though, they did a good job because aside from the missing mirror, you couldn't tell anything even happened.

She owed Dwight so much. She never expected he would come to her defense the way he did. He told her once, that he had a sister before the world fell apart. Lily had been attached to him ever since the very first day because of her brother, so she supposed he was feeding off that same energy. Either way, she owed him everything. No one else would have stood up for her the way he did. 

He told her the night before, while she still occupied Carson's cot. Told her how he knew John was full of shit. He'd known Lily the best out of everyone and had not once, ever, seen her go out of her way to start shit. Apparently it didn't take much to pique Negan's interest either. And when Negan wanted answers, he fucking got them.

She knew cold would help the swelling best, but damn if the hot water didn't feel amazing on her injured skin. And swollen it was. One of her hands held her hair behind her while the other hovered over the angry, dark red spots on her cheekbone that were just beginning to turn into that dark purple and blue that would linger for a while. Her neck was also decorated with thick bruising that wrapped around it in a distinct hand print. The cut on her bruised cheek was small, already scabbed over and Carson told her it would more than likely be gone before the bruises faded completely. 

With a heavy sigh, she finished getting dressed. Her flannel was buttoned up to the collar, though it offered little coverage for the bruises across her neck. The fabric coming to a stop just below the dark band that wrapped around her throat, a stark contrast to her usually fair skin. And why, did she pick this day of all days to wear blue? Irritation shot through Lily at the sight of herself. It wasn't that she was ashamed of how she looked, she just didn't want the pity that she knew would be in the eyes of all who looked at her. Lily hated pity. She was fine, she didn't need anyone feeling sorry for her.

With nothing else to do and her watch telling her it was already six, she made her way to the break room. The hallway was empty and for that, she was glad. When she entered the break room, she was even happier to discover it's only occupants were Arat and Lamar. Arat's eyes widened at the sight of her and Lily clenched her teeth as she turned away from them, retrieving a disposable cup from the cupboards. "What's up guys?" She called out to the pair behind her as she filled her cup with the steaming coffee. 

A beat of silence, before Lamar caught her attention as he leaned against the counter beside her. "Hey, Lily. I got somethin' a little better than those meds if you're interested." Her blue eyes met his brown ones, his raised brows arousing her interest and she set the cup she'd been holding on the counter. The movement of his hand caught her attention as he held a cigarette pack out to her. Intuition told her what would be inside and she smirked as she took the offered container and flipped open the lid to reveal two pre rolled joints. 

"Now don't go sharin' that shit cause it's hard to come by." A wide smile spread across her face at her friend's generosity. "Lamar, did I ever tell you, I fucking love you?" She asked him with a playful smirk, closing the lid and stuffing the pack into her back pocket. A throaty laugh came from the man at the exact moment Arat's arms closed around Lily from behind. She suppressed a startle from the close contact, instead bringing her hands up to the short woman's that were around her. "Glad you're back, bitch." She said and Lily exhaled a laugh, releasing her hold on her in favor of grabbing her cup. 

"Thought you had the day off?" Lamar asked and Lily rolled her eyes. "Nah, fuck that. I'm good. Got a squeaky truck door to fix though, so I'll catch you guys in a bit." Arat released her and Lily quickly made her way out of the break room, glad that their little reunion was over with and she came out relatively unscathed. Maybe they remembered what happened the one and only time Dwight had shown her pity. Either way, she was more than grateful they didn't bring anything unpleasant up. 

Unfortunately, Joey's reaction to her wounds was far less subtle. Lily sipped her coffee as she walked into the makeshift garage. Which, was little more than a massive tent, the walls inside lined with metal shelves and toolboxes. There was one truck inside the already cramped space and Lily knew who would be under it. Her wavy blonde locks swayed behind her as she searched for steel wool and WD-40. Joey heard her approach, probably knowing it was her or maybe just recognizing her worn out leather boots and slid out from the truck he was underneath, covered in grease and his brown eyes widened in shock at the sight of her. Way to make a girl feel good about herself, Joey. She turned from him as he got to his feet and crossed the small space between them to where she stood by the shelf of various chemicals and fluids, looking for the one she needed. She could feel his eyes on her, focusing on her wounds. "Oh, Lily-"

"Don't bring it up." She said suddenly, cutting him off before he could. The sadness in his tone was palpable and she just could not deal with that. She was fine. Her light blue eyes scanned the various cans til they landed on the particular one she needed. She grabbed the dark blue and yellow can of spray on lubricant before she met his eyes. "Ever. I don't want to talk about it. Alright?" His brow creased at her request. 

"But, Lily..." One of his hands came up, like he was about to touch her face and she pulled back suddenly before he could touch her. "Don't." She said. She could feel the emotions rolling off of him, his want, need to comfort her as well as the anger that kept him rigid, his hand tightening around the wrench he held, stretching the skin over his knuckles. But all of that was his problem. "Don't treat me like a victim, Skinny. I'm fine." She clenched her teeth and tore her eyes away from him. 

A loud, angry exhale and then, something she never expected. Her head whipped around, eyes wide at the loud bang that sounded across the garage. Joey was facing away from her and she noticed he was no longer holding the wrench. Well, that was new. She never would of expected that kind of emotional display from him and her brows shot up from the surprise. He took a few deep breaths and raked a grease covered hand angrily through his short brown hair before turning back to her. He didn't make eye contact though, instead he focused on the set of drawers to Lily's left.

"So, uh. I guess you're gonna take care of those doors?" He asked as he went through the drawers and she could see the redness leaving his face as he slowly calmed down. He'd told her a few days prior what she'd need to get the job done. The WD-40 in her hands must have tipped him off that she was finally getting around to it. "Yeah, I can't take that squeak anymore. Starting to hear it in my god damned sleep." She joked, but there was no trace of amusement in his expression. Instead, he retrieved a piece of steel wool from the third drawer down and held it out for her all without meeting her eyes. 

She accepted it eagerly and made to leave, his voice stopping her at the entrance of the massive tent. "If you need help, with the truck, just let me know. Alright?" It was an easy job, he knew she wouldn't need help. Which told Lily he wasn't referring to the doors at all. She kept her eyes forward, trained on the snowy ground in front of her. It had snowed again, overnight. The winter storm dumping two or three inches of white fluff on top of the few inches from the day before. "Sure thing, Skinny. See you." She called behind her before making her way out of the tent, her boots crunching in the snow as she made her way to the trucks.

"What are you doing?" Lily had just finished lubricating the second door's hinge and looked up at the sound of Dwight's voice. He approached her, his boots crunching in the snow as the rest of the saviors started to arrive. One of his hands held a cigarette against his lips as he took a deep drag, waiting for her to answer. "I fixed the doors." She said, smirking as she pushed and pulled the truck door to show him that the squeak was gone. "I wasn't convinced that it would work but Joey was right. It just needed a good scrub and some lubricant." Satisfied with her work, she reached for her coffee in the center console, it's temperature now a whole lot closer to iced coffee than the steaming liquid she started with and drank the last of it.

A heavy sigh left Dwight and Lily looked over, seeing his deep frown. "You're not supposed to be out here." He told her and her brow creased before she rolled her eyes. "I don't need a day off." She told him firmly before replacing the cap of the canned lubricant. Dwight stepped closer then before he spoke in a low voice for privacy's sake. "Sorry Lily. It's Negan's order. Not negotiable." She frowned then, her eyes dropping to the can she still held in her hands. "I don't understand." She admitted quietly. "Why am I still being punished?" 

Dwight sighed again and raked his hand through his shoulder length blonde locks, briefly exposing his large facial scar. "It's not a punishment, Lily." He told her and she shook her head, sadness overtaking her features. It was all too easy to be honest with her emotions around Dwight and she sighed in defeat. "It is to me." She told him before tossing the can into the passenger seat of the truck and turning away from the blonde. She made it half a step before she tensed at the sight of a very recognizable brown leather jacket. Without meeting his eyes, she tore hers away from the tall man, quickly stepping around him as she made her way back inside the factory.

The door to her bedroom connected with it's frame a little harsher than she intended. Here Lily was, yet again, sentenced to four walls and a floor. At least there was a window this time around and Lily kicked off her boots before shrugging out of her jeans and vest. She had fully intended on sulking her way back to sleep til the cigarette pack Lamar had given her caught her attention. It was half sticking out of the back pocket of her jeans that were now on the floor and she wasted no time scooping it up. She pulled one of the joints out and inhaled it's piney, earthy scent.

Oh, Lily missed that smell. She worked on her buddy's pot farm for years before the world went to shit and was intimately familiar with all things cannabis. A smile came to her face at the memory, one of her only good ones and she wasted no more time lighting the joint, her lungs happily welcoming the warm smoke from that very first hit. 

A few minutes later found Lily, sitting on her bed. Which, was little more than a twin mattress stacked on top of a bunch of wooden pallets. But it was comfortable enough and her blanket was soft. One of her bare legs was bent towards her, the other dangling over the side of the bed as the drug invaded her muscles and mind, relaxing her. With a hazy mind, she watched the smoke rise from the half smoked joint that she held between her thumb and index finger. It took a few seconds for her to register the fact that her door had been opened, but she reluctantly looked up to the sight of Simon's back as he set something down on top of the dresser across from her. 

Her head tilted at the sight of the cords poking out from around him and then he moved and she saw what he'd placed on her dresser. A very small tv and DVD player with a stack of about fifteen or so DVD's. Her brow creased at the sight of him pulling the dresser away to begin the process of hooking it up. "What are you doing?" She asked as she rose from her makeshift bed and made her way over to where the stack of DVD's now sat next to the tiny tv. "Well," He started without looking up from behind the dresser. "since you seem like the kind of woman that needs constant entertainment.. I have brought you, entertainment." She smiled at that.

With the cords plugged into the wall, he moved the dresser back and rounded the small dresser to start up the tv. "Don't go getting attached though, this is mine. I'll be taking it back eventually." She smirked as her left hand shuffled through a few of the DVD's. Her right hand still held onto the joint she'd been smoking. "Oh, I like guilty Simon. Bring me more stuff." She joked as she looked through the movies. Even though she was pleasantly high, her mind still registered the deep exhale that left him. "It was a joke, relax." She said before looking up to his face. Her blue eyes widened in shock when they met his. 

The left side of his face was swollen and covered in angry red patches that would soon darken into some serious bruises. There was also a distinct blue band of bruising that wrapped around his neck. He looked... like she did. "What happened to you?" She blurted without thinking. Aside from the one time she broke his nose, she'd never seen Simon with so much as a scratch. If she hadn't wounded him herself, she might have thought him invincible. It was startling to see him suddenly so beat up. He swallowed hard before he turned his attention to starting up the tv. "Negan. His version of lex talionis." He answered like she was supposed to know what the hell that meant.

Lily's brow creased in confusion. "Huh?"

"Law of retaliation. Eye for an eye. Or, in this case, cheek. Part of my punishment is that we match. I don't get to forget until you do." 

"Oh." She said tearing her eyes away from him to study the movie cases. The top few discs had been newer movies that she'd never seen and didn't look all that interesting. She exhaled a laugh though there was no humor behind it. "Good thing you're not a woman." She froze the moment she realized what she'd said. She cringed before it turned into a wince when the pain in her face registered. "I uh, didn't mean to say that out loud." She muttered without meeting his eyes. Instead she waited, watching from the corner of her eyes for that switch, that descent into anger that he was so prone to. But, surprisingly, it didn't come.

"You know I can smell that shit from the hallway. If Negan finds out he's gonna be pissed. At least open the window." It took her a minute to realize he was referring to the still burning joint in her hand. "It doesn't open." She told him honestly, not entirely sure why she was giving him information he could use against her. The previous day had been a giant neon sign advertising her battle with claustrophobia. "I tried like a million times." And she had, tried almost every day for the first few weeks of her time in the factory. Even coated it in a ton of WD-40 but that didn't work either. She'd come to the conclusion that it was a lost cause. Another surprise came when Simon wordlessly stepped around her and approached the window. 

Lily watched with creased brows as he stepped up to the window and put both hands on the frame. If Lily wasn't as high as she was she would have been concerned at his actions. He was behaving so wildly out of character as he forced the window to slide up, despite it's protest. In less than a minute, the window was open and Lily was hit by the icy December air and she smiled. "Cool!" She exclaimed and he crossed the small space and plucked the joint from it's place between her fingers and took a drag of his own, blowing the smoke between them on his long exhale and she smirked when he handed it back to her. 

"None of these look cool. I don't think we have the same taste in movies." She told the tall, middle aged man as she turned back to the movies that were stacked on her dresser. She held up one of the cases, featuring a robotic Arnold Schwarzenegger assassin and cocked an eyebrow. "I mean, science fiction?" 

He laughed. It was short and throaty, but he laughed. She made Simon laugh. "Keep looking, you'll find something." He leaned against the dresser and crossed his arms as he watched her go through the discs. A small part of her mind wondered why he didn't just leave, since it was definitely after seven. She found it a little hard to believe that he was making everyone wait just to ensure she had proper entertainment. One of her sock covered feet tapped the floor behind her as she recognized a few of the older films. The Wild Bunch and Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid. Both good movies but a wide smile came to her face when her eyes landed on Bonanza Season One. 

"Okay, this I like." She said, happily holding up the old western series. The corner of his mouth turned up a bit. "Yeah? You like the westerns?" He asked and she smirked playfully. "Duh. Little Joe was a total panty dropper." She opened the case, fully prepared to spend her day watching the first season when her eyes landed on one of her all time favorite movies. 

"Oooh, speaking of panty droppers." She cooed, excitedly scooping up the Smokey and the Bandit DVD. "You know, I thought your mustache looked familiar. You a big Burt Reynolds fan, Simon?" She teased as she traded the western series out for the road action comedy. It occured to her while she was opening the case that she should probably not push her luck with the man. He was still the same unpredictable Simon as before, a little bit of guilt didn't change that. 

"I think you've had enough of this for now." He said cooly, plucking the joint out of her hand while shaking his head. She only shrugged as he crossed the room to her bedside table and put it out on the beer can she'd been using as an ash tray. Lily wasted no more time in putting the disc into the DVD player, all too excited to watch one of her favorites. She grabbed the remote and pressed play when the menu screen popped up before she crossed the room and climbed onto her bed. A smiled stretched her face as she watched the opening credits and she crossed her legs to get in a more comfortable position. Her mind barely registered Simon's wordless departure. Only made obvious by the sound of the door quietly closing behind him.


	9. Jessie's Girl

_"Not so tough now, are you Lily?"_

Lily woke with a gasp as she sat upright in her makeshift bed, her heart hammering away in her chest. The flannel she was wearing was damp and clung to her body from all the sweating she'd done while she slept. She pushed her blonde hair away from her still sweaty face as she took deep breaths to steady herself. 'In and out. Just a dream. Not real. In and out.' She thought to herself as she forced herself to take slow deliberate breaths of the cool air in her room. Now that the window in her room was open thanks to Simon, she never let it shut completely. She relied heavily on the constant flow of fresh air, especially when she woke up like this.

It was the third time in the week since it happened that she'd woken up from that same fucking dream. It was beyond annoying. Her subconscious mind seemed hell bent on dragging her suffering out as long as possible and she was beyond over it. He was dead. Negan had seen to that personally. So why couldn't she just forget about it? The only 'pro' Lily could think of was that each time she had the dream she was getting better at calming herself down. The first time, the day after it happened she woke up in the middle of the night and all but ran outside, despite the falling snow for some fresh air. She was just thankful no one had been around to witness since it wasn't exactly high on her list of finest moments.

Her heart rate started to slow and she raised her left wrist to check the time. Lily sighed heavily when she saw it was just after six thirty. She'd slept through her alarm, again. A groan of irritation escaped her as she untangled herself from the blanket and sleepily left the comfort of her warm bed behind. Donned in fresh clothes and her trusty Colt in tow, she made her way to the break room for coffee. A quick stop in the bathroom to look in the mirror and her sour mood improved slightly at the sight of the fading bruises. They were Just starting to turn that greenish yellow color. Her neck was already there, the distinct fingerprints that had been there before, were no longer as distinguishable from the much smaller splotches that decorated her fair skin. A few more days to a week and she'd be back to her old self. Physically at least.

When that liquid caffeine finally occupied the cup in her left hand she made her way outside. She must have taken a bit longer than she originally thought because her watch told her it was already six fifty when she stepped out the factory's back door and was met with half a dozen pairs of eyes. "There she is." Arat called from the front seat of her nineteen ninety something Jeep Wrangler and Lily noticed Lamar was beside her, leaning a little too far into the driver's side window to be considered casual. "Shit." Lily muttered to herself. She hated being the last one and took the slush covered back steps as quickly as one could while holding piping hot coffee. It didn't take long for her to make it over to where Dwight and Joey were standing, bundled up in their jackets next to the old Ford truck.

"Sorry guys." She told them as she quickly opened the passenger side door and placed her coffee in the center console before turning back to the men. "It's fine, we're still waiting for Simon." Dwight told her and she felt relief wash over her. The last thing she needed was to be back on Simon's bad side for something so dumb as sleeping through her alarm. They hadn't spoken to each other much in the days after he loaned her the tv. But she did notice the new stack of movies next to it when she got back from a run with Arat and Regina yesterday. One of which had been Bonanza season two and Lily wondered if Simon owned the whole set.

The three women were tasked with bringing supplies to one of the outposts which happened to be the farthest one away from the factory so they didn't make it back until late. Too late to consider watching anything. But Lily was definitely looking forward to tonight. She was surprised Simon's tv was still in her possession but maybe his guilt was still in full bloom. Either way, she certainly wasn't going to complain about it.

"We missed you at poker yesterday." Joey said and Lily shot him a smirk as she crossed her arms against her chest. "Yeah, you missed losing all your smokes?" She joked and he shook his head, grinning at her. "No but we passed a killer record store on the way back. Too bad you weren't there, you would've loved it."

"You gonna rub that in my face, Skinny?" She asked with raised brows before he stepped closer and her eyes followed his hand as he retrieved the black garment that she only just now noticed was hanging over his right shoulder. "Course not, Lily. I even brought you back a souvenir." The shirt went flying at her face and she caught it and tilted her head as she held it up to examine it. "The walls were plastered with vintage shit and I know you love Def Leppard so I snagged this for ya."

Her mouth fell open as she examined the shirt. It was a black muscle cut t shirt with the Hysteria album cover on the front. "Oh. My. God." A wide smile stretched her face as she lit up with excitement. She wasted no time tearing off her vest and Dwight stepped in front of her, his back to her and holding his jacket open to shield her when he realized she intended to strip down to her bralette. Perks of having small boobs, you don't need fancy support bras. "Jesus Lily. Don't you have any modesty?" He scolded her over his shoulder and she rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, Dwight. Because my sports bra is real provocative." She joked as she threw her clothes into the passenger seat of the truck. The cold air was a shock to her skin but she was too excited to care and quickly pulled the muscle t over her head. She pulled her blonde locks from the back of the shirt and let the long waves fall loosely behind her. "Oh, this is sick!" She exclaimed excitedly, looking down at herself.

Dwight stepped away from her and she beamed at him. "How do I look?" She flexed her lightly toned left arm that was covered from shoulder to wrist in black ink. The floral pattern on full display for the first time and Dwight smirked. "Like a badass, Lily." She pumped her fist in excitement at that. "Thanks. That's what I was going for." She joked with a smile.

"You look awesome Lily." Joey told her and she quickly took the few steps between them and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. Her wide smile didn't waver as his arms came around her. A moment later, she pulled back, not missing the fact that one of his hands still lingered on her hip. Which, wasn't as uncomfortable as she thought it would be. The heat of his hand penetrated the thin shirt she wore and the feeling sprouted a warmth in her chest. She pulled the bottom of her shirt, holding it out so she could see the design again. "This is so cool." She told him. "You know, I normally wouldn't accept a gift but this... well, I really want it, so." She beamed as she met his eyes and her playful expression melted when she saw the desire in his.

Maybe it was the fact that she hadn't been with a man since the whole end of the world started but she found herself enjoying the look he was giving her. That subtle warmth in her chest was well on it's way to an inferno as his eyes bore into hers. "I'm glad you like it." His voice was low and lustful and she smirked when his hand on her hip tightened. Oh, she definitely liked this. Liked it even more when he stepped closer, til she could feel his warm breath on her face. She could smell him, his musky scent mixed with the grease splattered across his jean jacket was invading her senses. Weakening her resolve. And that look he was giving her, like he wanted nothing more than to close the gap between their lips was tempting her and Lily was all too close to giving in to it.

She snapped out of it real quick when the sound of a loud bang sounded around them. She whipped her head toward the sound to see Negan at the factory's back door, standing next to the thick metal railing. His barb covered bat Lucille still rest against the top metal bar while he wore an amused expression on his face. Clearly the man was proud of himself for interrupting, but Lily was thankful. She was more than glad for the interruption that kept her from doing something she knew she would regret later. Everyone dropped to their knees at the sight of him, Lily included. That's when her eyes wandered and she saw Simon. He was standing next to Negan, his signature dirty look back in place and Lily cringed internally at the sight. She already missed guilty Simon. At least it wasn't her he was looking at with that angry face, yet.

Everyone was allowed to stand before Negan called Lamar and Joey away for a separate job. "I'll see you later Lily." Joey muttered and she cringed again. The moment between them was gone and already the guilt was settling in. She was definitely not looking forward to what would be a very awkward conversation. "See ya, Skinny." She said and watched the two of them ascend the snowy steps that led to the back door and disappear inside. Negan made to follow and Lily turned her attention to her hot coffee in the truck. Quickly grabbing it from it's place in the center console, she drank deeply, her body eagerly accepting the warmth it provided.

"Hey, Lily." Negan called, gaining her attention and she whipped her head up to meet the middle aged man's eyes as he looked down at her from his perch on the landing. "Red, is definitely your color." He called, punctuating his words with a jab of his barbed wire covered bat in her direction. She smirked, shaking her head at his reference to her bralette. 'Still not gonna be your wife.' She thought, watching him disappear into the factory. Dwight was already sliding into the driver's side seat of the truck. Lily followed his lead and hopped in. A glance spared in Simon's direction as he boarded his own vehicle told her that the angry look had not yet diminished and she assumed that was the general theme for the day. So, she turned her attention to the landscape outside the passenger window as Dwight started the truck.

It didn't take long for her mind to conjure up the memory and replay whatever the hell that was with Joey and Lily cringed before a sudden wave of irritation shot through her. There was a reason Lily didn't accept things from people. Most people only give you something if they already want something from you. Lily knew exactly what Joey wanted and she almost fell for it. In front of how many saviors? She suddenly had the urge to punch him for trying to manipulate her. Before her irritation could turn into anger, she shoved thoughts of Joey out of her mind and instead focused her attention on Dwight's music collection.

Lily was minding her own business when she strolled into the break room to grab a bottle of water.

"Hey Lily. What's goin' on?" Lamar called from their now over-crowded table when she entered the break room. What started out with Just Dwight and Lamar quickly grew with Lily's arrival at the sanctuary. Now Arat, Lily and Joey usually sat at the small round table as well. Arat took the seat next to Lamar most of the time and Joey took the one between her and Dwight. Lily refused to give up her space between Dwight and Lamar in an attempt to keep Joey from playing loosey goosey with his alcohol. Unfortunately, it had done little to deter him.

She'd taken a watch shift on the roof after they returned from clearing out a mini mall earlier in the day and now Lily was frozen, tired and hoping like hell the tv was still in her room so she could relax. If not, she'd probably just go to sleep. It couldn't have been past eight, but Lily's bed was calling her name. She noticed Simon was standing by the coffee pot a few feet away from her, a bowl in his hands which was probably a good indication the tv was still in her possession. "Hey guys." She called to the group as she opened the fridge in search of bottled water. "You gonna join? We've got tequila." Joey said and she cringed at the hopefulness in his voice.

"No thanks." She said with a yawn, grabbing a bottle from the fridge and letting it close as she turned to the group. A sizeable pile of cigarettes sat in the center of their table, the winning pot of their poker game. "That shit taste like paint thinner. I'm good." She smirked as she leaned against the counter and opened her bottle.

"Now, how in the hell do you know what paint thinner taste like?" Lamar asked, giving her a hard look as he pushed his glasses up his nose and Lily smiled before taking a drink of her water.

"Don't ask her that." Dwight said suddenly and Lily could see the blush from the alcohol he'd drunk pooling in his unscarred cheek. "You ask her that and she's gonna have some crazy story for an answer." Lily pressed her lips firmly together to keep from laughing. She was all too aware that she over shared on a regular basis.

"I was a very curious child." She told Lamar simply and Dwight just shook his head. "See?"

"You actually ate paint thinner?" Joey asked while giving her a look like she was touched in the head.

"No." She said, crossing her arms defensively. "I just tasted it. I wouldn't recommend it. But then again, you're drinking that shit, so... cheers." She emphasized her words with a dramatic wave of her hand at the bottle of Jose Cuervo Especial that sat on the table next to the discard pile before raising her bottled water in a mock toast. Simon's movement in her peripheral vision caught her attention and she glanced to her right as he brought a spoonful of a lumpy off-white substance that suspiciously resembled ice cream to his mouth. Lily's brow creased as she studied the contents of his bowl. "What's that?" She asked him.

He hadn't spoken to her much earlier in the day, only referring to the job when necessary. But Lily did notice that, when he did talk to her, it wasn't the harsh tone she'd been expecting based on the unpleasant expression he started the day with. So it was probably safe to converse with the man. Or not. Either way, Lily's curiosity got the better of her, like it usually did. Hence, the paint thinner fiasco. It took him a few seconds to register that she was speaking to him. Eventually he met her eyes and she could have sworn he looked almost amused at her question. "Cardamom Gelato." He drawled and Lily's brow creased. He must have seen her confusion because he then clarified. "It's like ice cream." He explained and she gave him an unimpressed look.

"Is it like ice cream? Or is it ice cream?" She asked him. "Cause frozen yogurt is like ice cream, but it's fucking gross."

The corner of his mouth turned up a bit before he held the bowl out for her. She set her bottle of water down and hopped up to sit on the fake marble top counter before taking the offered bowl. He crossed his arms against his chest while he watched her inspect the bowl's contents. It definitely looked like ice cream. And the bowl was cold, so it felt like ice cream. Tentatively, she scooped a small amount onto the spoon and tasted it. "Oh, that's good." She said and gave him a smile as she held the bowl out for him to take back. "It's like, minty. Kind of."

He held his hand up to stop her. "Have some more." He told her. "You need it more than I do."

He probably didn't mean it in the way she took it. But Lily was all too aware of her nearly too-thin figure. Stress made it hard to eat and she'd had plenty of that lately. And now that she was having those shitty dreams, she was skipping breakfast too. She bit the inside of her cheek as she wordlessly set the bowl on the counter and made her way out of the break room, her bottle of water in tow.

Lily was sitting on her makeshift bed dressed down to her flannel shirt and socks, ready for bed and four minutes into watching 'The Mummy' when she heard the door to her bedroom open. She was sitting with her back against the wall, her feet crossed in front of her as she watched the movie. Tearing her eyes away from the dude being mummified on the screen, she saw Simon enter her room. One of his hands closed the door behind him. "This movie sucks." She griped immediately, his earlier transgressions already forgotten. She crossed her arms and saw the corner of his mouth turn up as he recognized the movie playing on the small screen. "I mean, the guy just said no one is supposed to touch her and what does this guy do? He fucking smears her body paint. In the most obvious place." She said with a roll of her eyes. It was so blatantly ridiculous that she just could not take it seriously. "Supposedly it's an action adventure about treasure hunting, but now they're talking about resurrecting people. This is definitely sci fi."

He arched a brow. "Have you... looked outside lately?" He asked, jerking a thumb in the direction of her window. It honestly hadn't occured to her until then, but with the current state of the world the movie might just be closer to a documentary. "That's a good point." She conceded, her eyes wandering back to the screen.

"Anyways, it just so happens I've brought a little something that might be the solution to your movie problem." He had her attention then as he held up a DVD case she hadn't noticed him enter with. Her eyes read the title and a wide smile stretched her face. 'Smokey and the Bandit two' was written across the front and Lily nearly jumped from the bed at the sight. "Is this real?" She asked excitedly as he handed her the case.

"You've never seen it?" He asked and she shook her head, her blonde waves dancing around her from the movement. She turned the case over in her hands to examine it. "No." She told him. "The re-run channel never played this one." She beamed at him all too excited to discover the sequel to one of her favorites. Wasting no more time she swapped out the mummy movie for the new one. When the title menu popped up, she pressed play before returning to her spot on the bed. The opening credits started to roll and she was comfortably sitting with her back against the wall, her ankles crossed when a Honey Bun was thrown at her lap.

A smile stretched her face at the sight of her favorite pastry and she wasted no time tearing the plastic away in favor of taking a bite. "Wow, Simon. Dinner and a movie? If you wanted a date, all you had to do was ask." She teased, fully expecting him to leave. Instead, she shot him a confused expression when he came to sit next to her on her bed. He crossed his arms against his chest and copied her pose, leaning back against the wall and stretching his legs out in front of him. "What are you doing?" She asked him and he gave her a smirk. "Watching my tv." He said simply. Well, he had her there. She couldn't very well ask him to leave, he'd probably take the tv with him and she really wanted to watch the movie. Plus he brought her a Honey Bun. Guilty Simon was still in full bloom. Her eyes went to his feet. "Well, take those off. I sleep here." She told him in reference to his dirty boots. A beat of silence before he kicked his boots off and they dropped to the floor seconds apart.

Satisfied with that, she turned her attention back to the screen in front of her and they continued watching the movie in a comfortable silence. With the exhaustion of the day catching up to her and despite her best efforts to stay awake, Lily fell asleep before the movie was finished.


	10. Queen Of Disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Lily got her name because I happened to look up at the 'Munsters' poster that sits on my wall when I was trying to come up with a name.

_Tears streamed down Lily's face as she sat, locked in the bathroom of the small drug store. She'd just raided the pharmacy, taking the first bottle of muscle relaxers she recognized. She reminisced on her life, moments that led up to this point and took a drink from the bottle of cheap, bottom shelf vodka in her hand. If there was any time in her life that Lily needed liquid courage, it was now. It was all thanks to her pill head mom that she even knew what to look for in the pharmacy. But alas, she did and now the large white bottle sat in front of her crossed legs, illuminated by the large flashlight that shined next to it. A beacon, lighting the way to the end of her suffering._

_She never thought she'd fall this low. Her life had been hard at times. Down right atrocious at others. But Lily never once entertained the thought of checking out. She pushed on despite her struggles, always telling herself that someone, somewhere had it worse._

_Giving up just never seemed like a legitimate option. Til she spent six months in the rusted up Ford. Six months looking, searching for someone else. Anyone. A fucking dog would have sufficed. Something to talk to. Anything alive. But she was alone. Sure, she'd been alone in the store, but that was different. She was able to maintain the fantasy that there were others, waiting for her to emerge. Out in the open she was faced with the reality that there was no-one. No one was left. No one to talk to. No one to listen to. Lily buried her face in her hands as a choked sob escaped her. It was too much. It was just too hard. What had she done to deserve this?_

_Before the apocalypse, Lily never considered herself a good or bad person. She was just kind of there, in her opinion. Making the best of whatever she was dealt. Her dad was a piece of shit alcoholic, her mom wasn't much better being high on pills all the time til she wrapped her piece of shit sedan around a tree when Lily was fourteen. The only person that was worth a shit was her brother James. But even he checked out when Lily was nineteen and she was left to make her own way. Sure, he'd text her when he was in the states and was nice enough but never once, in the three years they were apart did he mention meeting up. Even her god damned cat was gone thanks to the apocalypse._

_But maybe, now that she thought about it, she actually was a bad person, she realized as she took another drink of the vodka. She got in plenty of fights with her psycho dad. She stole shit she didn't need. She worked on her buddy's pot farm and drove that shit across state lines more than once. That was bad, right? Bad enough to force her brother to abandon her. Maybe she deserved every bit of her suffering, of her loneliness. The vodka hit her at the same time as the realization that she deserved this and she choked back a sob as her free hand reached for the bottle. She didn't want to be alone anymore._

Lily woke with a gasp as she was quite literally yanked out of her dream. That same dream, again. Only a second passed before she felt the firm grip of hands on her arms in the darkness. Fear shot up her spine at the sight of the huge silhouette hovering above her. "Get off me! Get the fuck off me!" She yelled, desperately shoving her hands at the firm chest of the perpetrator. "Calm down Lily. It's just me." She recognized his voice immediately and her wide, fearful blue eyes finally adjusted to the dim light being put off by the tv screen. It was definitely Simon. His thick mustache and receding hairline stood out in the dim light and she fell back against the mattress with a heavy sigh. He released her arms and she lifted a hand to push her hair away from her sweaty face as she took deep breaths to steady herself. She felt a slight breeze from the cracked window reach her, the cold air helping to cool her heated skin.

Seeing that she was calming down, Simon laid back down beside Lily on the twin bed. When her pulse had slowed to a normal rate, she rolled her head to the right and she could see Simon's brown eyes looking back at her, watching her in the dim light. "What are you doing in here?" She asked, her voice raspy from sleeping. A tired smirk crept across his face before he answered. "Fell asleep to the movie."

"Again?" She asked and Simon exhaled a laugh before his answer came. "Yeah." It was the second time since they'd settled into their new routine of nightly movies. The first time had been one hell of a shock. Waking up to someone else in her bed was definitely a surprise considering the fact she hadn't been laid in years. "Simon, you can't sleep in here. You take up too much room." She complained, sleepily pushing against him for more space. He smirked before rolling onto his left side, which only brought him closer to her and she could feel his breath rolling down her face and neck. "Smart ass." Too tired to argue with the man, she rolled her eyes before they closed. It wasn't the worst thing having him there, though. His body heat balanced the coldness of the air from having the window cracked. And he did pull her out of that stupid dream, so she was definitely grateful for that.

A moment of silence before Lily's breathing began to even out and she felt herself drifting off. "Do you have bad dreams often?" He asked suddenly and she groaned as she was seconds away from sleep. She cracked her eyes open to see him still staring at her. "I don't have bad dreams." She mumbled before closing her eyes again. She felt Simon shifting beside her as he tried to find a comfortable position. She was nearly asleep again when his voice cut through the quietness of the room.

"What the fuck is this?"

Lily groaned again as her eyes snapped open. He was holding something up to examine it in the dim light and one of her hands reached out to take it from him. She squinted, bringing it closer to her face so she could see. It was a heavily sharpened stick of hard plastic with one end wrapped in cloth in a makeshift handle. She'd completely forgotten about it til now. Having it was no longer necessary after she got her Colt back. "It's a shiv." She told him tiredly, handing it back to him. "Care to explain why there's a shiv in your bed?" He asked, his tone full of amusement and she yawned. "Made it before I got my weapons back. You gotta go if you're gonna keep talking, Simon. I'm tired." He shushed her then, like she was the one keeping them awake and the back of her hand landed on his chest in a swat. Thankfully, he didn't say anything else after that and Lily quickly went back to sleep.

He was gone when she woke for the day. But Lily would be lying if she said she didn't smile at the sight of the hot coffee and granola bar waiting for her on the bedside table.

It took the majority of the day for the saviors to pick up the supplies from the Kingdom and Hilltop communities and get back on the road. They were halfway home when a thick fog was descending onto the area, forcing their miniature convoy to come to a screeching halt. Dozens of dead freaks were shambling across the road. It was Lily's second time seeing them like this, bunched together with a herd mentality. Which was a little disturbing since they were soulless corpses just walking aimlessly together.

That is, until they heard the trucks. Only a few hundred feet or so of road separated the saviors from the dead that were now headed in their direction. "Shit." Dwight swore before pulling a U turn in the road and headed back the way they'd come. The other trucks followed suit and Dwight pressed the gas pedal down, accelerating the old truck to put as much distance between them and the herd as possible.

"Gotta double back to the bridge and take the alt route." He said into his walkie.

"You got it, D." Lamar answered.

"There must have been a hundred at least." Lily said, looking out the back window. "What if they're already at the bridge?"

"Then I guess we'll be camping at the Hilltop tonight." Dwight said.

"That sounds like shit." Lily said and she saw Dwight crack a smile. That is, until a few strays appeared in front of the truck and Dwight was forced to swerve suddenly and Lily barely had time to brace herself as the truck went right off the side of the road. She was forced against her seatbelt when Dwight pressed on the brake and she swore. The air harshly abandoned her lungs as she collided with the belt across her chest. Luckily, they didn't hit anything, dead or otherwise.

Unfortunately, they weren't out of the woods yet. Because the truck stalled in the shallow ditch on the side of the road. Dwight swore and Lily unbuckled her holster, grabbing her Colt. She had a feeling she'd need it as the other trucks passed them and stopped a little way down the road. Dwight was trying to get the truck going with very little success and Lily swore at the sight of the approaching dead freaks before climbing out of the truck's back window to it's now crowded bed. Stumbling over the boxes of supplies, she heard Lamar's voice over the walkie. He was on his way back when she fired her first shot at the closest dead freak, hitting it in the head. The herd was approaching, albeit pretty slowly, though there were a few stragglers that were closer.

"Come on Dwight. I don't particularly wanna get ripped apart by these fucking things!" She yelled into the tiny window she'd crawled from.

"Yeah, it's not exactly high on my to do list either, Lily!" He yelled back in a stressed voice and Lily couldn't help it, she laughed. Dwight shot her a 'what the fuck' look before she turned back to the dead. God, the years had not been kind to these things. The time they'd spent shambling outdoors in the weather meant they were half deteriorated and Lily wondered if they might just drop dead, well actually dead, one day.

"Yeah and I don't really want to go out to the tune of a Kansas song either." She called to her blonde companion as 'Carry on my wayward son' played over the radio.

"Lily, if you're asking me to change the CD, you can fuck off." He said as he tried turning over the engine and she laughed again before firing another shot from her handgun and taking out another dead freak. It was her way of coping with the situation. Luckily she was with Dwight, because anyone else might think she was actually insane, making jokes and laughing while a hundred or so hungry, relentless dead corpses marched toward their stalled vehicle.

Lamar pulled his truck around right beside theirs then and fired a shot from his own gun before he called out to Lily. "Here!" He said holding another gun, a much larger one, out for her and she grabbed it with both hands before her brow creased. It was a pistol grip sub machine gun and not at all something she was familiar with. "What the fuck is this? A god damned UZI?" She said to him, earning a rather unimpressed look from the older man. Skinny Joey was leaning out the passenger window of Lamar's truck, firing a much different style of submachine gun into the herd, dropping the ones in the front to help slow their advance.

"Grip safety, same as your Colt. Point and shoot Lily, come on!" Was all he offered as he leaned far out of his own vehicles window with the same style of gun he'd given her and started firing into the herd. "Jesus Christ." She griped to herself, but followed Lamar's lead anyway. He wasn't even using the stock, just holding it into his side like a god damned professional.

She extended the metal stock and held it firmly into her right shoulder. She'd shot plenty of her dad's shotguns and rifles so she went with what she knew. She checked the safety was off, racked the slide and lined up the sights. The first few bullets left the 9mm submachine gun in rapid succession. "Holy shit!" She exclaimed, a wide smile crossed Lily's face as her targets dropped to the ground. Oh, she liked this gun, she decided immediately. She emptied her clip pretty quickly, though her, Lamar and Joey barely made a dent in the amount of dead that were still advancing. Lily was about to ask for a reload but it wasn't necessary. The engine of the truck turned over and she wasted no time crawling back through the window into the cab. Lamar and Joey settled back into their truck before he turned it around. Dwight hit the gas petal hard and the truck pulled out of the shallow ditch and the group of saviors made their way home.

"Hey Dwight. Check it out!" Lily exclaimed as she bounded into the armory along side Arat to where Dwight was sitting. He occupied a chair at the long table between Joey and Lamar. By the looks of it, they were nearly finished in their task of cleaning the guns. "We're hair twins!" She said excitedly as she spun in a circle to show off her new haircut, thanks to Arat. Her waist length blonde hair had been cut much shorter. The waves now came to a stop right beneath her collar bones, now only a few inches longer than Dwight's shoulder length hair.

"You're too easily amused." He said, smirking at her before turning his attention back to the half assembled gun in his hands. She put her hands on her hips in mock irritation. "That's the secret to happiness Dwight. Duh."

Arat took the chair next to Lamar and Lily smiled at the couple when they embraced. They way they looked at each other. Oh, they were definitely in love. Lamar was lifting a hand to Arat's chin when Lily tore her eyes away. It felt like a private moment shared between them and Lily wasn't about to ruin it by staring. Dwight was giving her an amused look when her eyes went back to him. "You had the answer all along? Shit, why didn't you say so sooner?" She laughed before her eyes wandered to her left and she saw Joey glaring daggers at the gun in his hands. "What's wrong with you?" She asked him and when no response came, she turned her attention back to Dwight wondering what the hell his problem was.

"How long have you been fucking Simon?"

Lily heard the words, but surely he'd been speaking to someone else. When no answer came, Lily followed Dwight's sudden glare and was met with Joey's eyes staring harshly at her, a serious look on his face. He'd been speaking to her. "I'm not fucking anyone." She said. He didn't look convinced.

"So it wasn't your room Gary saw him leaving this morning?" He pressed and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Shut the fuck up Joey." Arat interrupted, leaning around Lamar to give Joey a dirty look. "It's none of your god damned business anyway."

"We watched a movie and fell asleep." Lily explained. "Doesn't mean I fucked him. But like Arat said, Skinny, It's not your fucking business."

"You watched a movie with him?" He asked, giving her a look like she was insane. "What is that, some kind of fucked up Stockholm Syndrome shit? He's nice to you once and you're best fucking friends?" Joey's words were laced with venom as he spoke. There was a deep crease in his brow as he glared at her. "Jesus Christ. What is your problem?" Lily snapped, feeling her irritation steadily building a fire in her chest.

"My problem?" He said, shoving himself away from the table. The legs of his chair angrily scraped across the concrete ground as he got to his feet. He leaned against the table, his palms flat on the surface. "Have you forgotten what he did to you? What he put you through?!" He was nearly yelling now. Which, Lily was not prepared for and she suddenly felt warm all over as she steadily got more pissed off.

Of course she hadn't forgotten. How could she forget when her dreams constantly reminded her of that day.

"No, Joey. I haven't forgotten. But what do you want me to do? Dwell on that shit til I'm dead? Is that what you want? You want me to be fucking miserable?" Her own voice was getting higher as her anger grew and Dwight could sense it. He'd been around her enough to know when she was about to lose it. "Alright. We're done here." Dwight said suddenly, getting up from his place at the table and rounding it, til he was in front of Lily. His hand closed around her arm. His touch the only thing keeping her anger at bay.

"Oh, come on Dwight. You've seen the way he looks at her. You really think it's a good idea for her to be with that psycho?"

"You're an asshole." Lily concluded. "For the record, this is exactly why I don't do relationships." She threw her hands up in defeat. "We're not even together. Yet another man 'looks' at me and you're already screaming at me." She shook her head and let Dwight lead her out of the armory.

She needed a drink.


	11. Florida Kilos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4200 words of pure smut.

She noticed the tv's absence the second her hand pushed her bedroom door open. Her mini fridge was now the only thing that sat on the small dresser in her room. She frowned at it's loss, fully prepared to throw herself into bed for the night when a familiar voice spoke from across the hall, "Hey Blondie," She looked behind her to see Simon leaning in his own doorway, wearing a simple black t shirt that exposed his thick arms and pants. He'd already ditched his boots, a familiar look for when they watched movies together. When she met his eyes he tilted his head towards his own room and she smiled at the invitation before immediately moving across the hall. 

She'd never been in his room before. Though she expected, being Negan's second in command, it would be nice. And boy, it did not disappoint. "Holy shit!" Lily exclaimed when Simon closed the door behind her. His room was huge. It may as well have been it's own apartment. To the left of the door was a large bed and table with a lamp. Past the foot of the bed was a large dresser with a mirror. Beyond that was a leather corner couch with a small coffee table. Across the room from the couch was the tv she was already familiar with on a stand that was filled to the brim with DVDs. And just beside that was a mini fridge. "You have a couch!" she said excitedly as he moved to cross the room to the far wall. 

"I have a couch," he repeated, his tone full of amusement as he came to a stop by the window that occupied the wall between the couch and tv. 

"Well, why the hell were you hanging out in my room?" she asked him as he cracked the window open a few inches. "Yours is way better than mine," she told him whole heartedly as she made her way over to the nice furniture. 

"Take those off," he said suddenly, pointing one of his index fingers at her shoes. She exhaled a laugh before kicking her boots off. He was putting a disc in the player when she sat on the nice couch. One of her legs was bent towards her, the other hanging over the edge of the couch. The tip of her toes tapped against the floor as she watched him start up season three of a familiar show.

With Bonanza's familiar theme song playing and the opening credits rolling across the screen, Simon came to sit beside her on the couch. He had Lily's full attention as he reached for a small, reddish brown box on the coffee table and pulled the lid off, setting it to the side and Lily saw a mixture of cigars inside the box. He reached in and Lily assumed he was going to grab one but she was surprised to see him retrieve a small joint instead. Well, she hadn't expected that and her face gave that away when Simon glanced at her. "Aw. Did you think your relationship with Lamar was special?" he teased her as he brought the joint to his lips to light it. 

Lily smirked, shaking her head as he took a drag, "Are you saying I'm not special?" 

The smoke of his exhale danced between them as he held the joint out for her and she happily accepted. "Oh, you're definitely special, Lily," he said while she breathed in that familiar herbal smoke. 

She beamed at him, "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." 

She held the joint out for him but he held a hand up to stop her. "That's yours," he said, turning his attention back to the box. Well, she definitely wasn't gonna argue with that. A smile lit her face and she happily helped herself to the joint as Simon retrieved a small ash tray and cigar. Her buzz from the shots she'd done with Arat had been killed by Joey but it didn't matter. It didn't take long for the drug to kick in. It invaded her muscles and mind, bringing a deeply relaxing effect and she put the half burned joint out in the ash tray. She relaxed back into the leather couch as her eyes wandered back to the screen. 

They watched the tv in a comfortable silence before Simon spoke again. "The cut looks good," he said and Lily's brow creased as she met his eyes.

"What?" she asked him and a smirk lit his face before he reached over and flicked the front of her now much shorter blonde hair back. She smiled at the compliment before her face fell as she was reminded of her earlier argument with Joey. 

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, sensing the shift in her mood. 

She rolled her eyes as her irritation bubbled to the surface, "Nothing. Just got into it with someone earlier." 

"Joey?" 

His smirk was still firmly in place when her eyes went back to his. He looked amused. "How do you know?" she asked him. He wasn't in the armory during their argument, no way he could have known. 

He exhaled a laugh, "I didn't. My guess was purely based on the dirty looks he was giving me today when he thought I couldn't see." 

Lily sighed heavily at that. She crossed her arms and tilted her head back to stare at the off white ceiling, "He accused me of sleeping with you." 

"Well that's just ridiculous," Simon said and Lily rolled her head to the left to meet his eyes. His brown eyes were intense as he stared back into hers. "If you want me to fuck you, then I'm gonna fuck you. And to hell with what anyone else thinks." 

Her lips parted in surprise at his words before she raised her left arm to the back of the couch, resting her head against her palm. She turned her body to face him, a playful smile on her face. "Wow, Simon. It's sounds like you'd like to fuck me," she joked and he smirked back at her. 

"I think we'd both like me to fuck you." His eyes never wavered from hers as he spoke. That intense stare of his was heating up her insides. Her body, even relaxed as it was from the drug, was responding to him. 

She tore her eyes away from his then. They landed on the still burning cigar he held and she took it from him, her hand brushing against his as she did. He let her, watching her intently as she took a drag of the finely rolled tobacco tasting the notes of peach as she considered his proposition. "Well, I don't know Simon," she said, exhaling between them as she handed the cigar back to him, "you don't even know what I like. What if you can't do it?" Her tone feigned innocence and he smirked, reaching over to rest the still burning cigar inside the ash tray before leaning closer to her. 

"Tell me what you like." It was said as a demand, as he was so prone to. His face was just a few inches away from hers now and he stared at her with dominance in his eyes. 

The look he was giving her had her body buzzing with anticipation and she smiled before her answer came, "I like it, when it hurts." 

His brown eyes widened slightly before he smiled wickedly. "Somehow," he said as one of his hands found it's way behind her head. His fingers slid through her blonde locks til he closed his hand around it in a tight grip. "I don't think that's going to be a problem." He punctuated his words with a sharp yank of her hair and she gasped when her head was forced backwards. Her scalp sang with pain in the best way. His action caused a long forgotten heat to pool between her legs and he smiled at the reaction he received. 

"Fuck," she said, drawing a shaky breath as her arousal climbed higher, "do that again." He did, that pleasured pain shot down her spine and he was rewarded by the soft moan that escaped her.

He leaned forward, til his lips brushed against her ear and he spoke in a low voice that made her shiver in excitement, "Take your clothes off, Lily." 

She moved with intent as she stood, her eyes half lidded in lust as she started with her jeans. A smirk escaped her as she watched him watching her undo her pants and step out of them. His eyes were hungry as they roamed her bare flesh. He'd never looked at her this way before and damn if she didn't feel good about herself. Instead of removing her shirt, her hands slid just under the hem to pull on her panties and she shifted her hips as she shimmied out of them. The small piece of fabric landed next to her jeans when they dropped to the floor. 

"Keep going," he said, a slight huskiness in his low voice and she arched a brow before placing her hands on her hips. 

She waited until his eyes met hers before she spoke, "That hardly seems fair, Simon." 

Her eyes dropped to his chest and she watched as he immediately took the hint and pulled his t shirt off before tossing the black fabric at her. She caught the shirt with a smirk as he leaned back into the couch, putting his hands behind his head to watch her eyes roam his bare chest. He looked a lot better than she expected. She knew his arms were muscular since he often walked around the sanctuary in short sleeves. But she wasn't expecting that same definition to extend to his chest and abdomen. He was fucking ripped. His chest was decorated by thick hairs scattered across it and her eyes went lower, raking over the muscles that defined his abdomen where a thin trail of hairs disappeared under the hem of his pants. Her fingers released the soft cotton between them and his shirt fell to the floor as her eyes went back to his amused ones. 

"Keep going," he repeated, his tone darker than before and she smirked back defiantly. 

"Make me."

A lesser man might have eagerly closed the space between them, but not Simon. Though she caught the flash of darkness in his eyes, his movements were careful and he slowly rose from the couch, taking his time to approach the half naked blonde. When he stood in front of her, she was forced to tilt her head to meet his eyes. She wasn't short by any means but he definitely had a good six inches on her. His warm breath hit her face and rolled down her neck. A stark contrast to the cool air that seeped in from the window. 

"How much do you like that shirt?" he asked her and a smile spread across her face. 

"Not very much."

The words had barely left her before Simon's hands wrapped around each side of her flannel shirt before he tore at the fabric. Every button went flying, bouncing off who knows what as her shirt was ripped open and she realized she was practically soaked from his controlled aggression. Her heart hammered away in her chest and she drew a shaky breath to steady herself. She'd been so turned on by him and he had barely touched her. She was beyond ready for him. Slowly, his hands went to her shoulders and hers roamed the bare flesh of his warm abdomen as he pushed the flannel off her shoulders. 

When her own shirt dropped to the floor, her hands returned to his broad chest, exploring the muscles that rest beneath his warm skin. One of his hands returned to her hair, tangling itself there before another sharp pull, the hardest one yet and he watched her, smiling as a whine escaped her while her fingernails dug into his skin. His free hand landed on the curve of her waist before sliding over her hip. His eyes bore into hers as he reached for the apex of her thighs. She stopped him, swatting his hand away before he could touch her. 

"Not yet," she told him, wanting to draw it out longer and she watched as that wicked smirk returned to his face. His hand came up to her jaw and closed around it in a tight grip, his fingers digging painfully into her fair skin and she moaned from the sensation. Her hand that wasn't roaming his broad shoulder reached for him, her fingers grazing his bare flesh as she slid them back and forth along the rim of his trousers and she smirked again when she felt the muscles of his abdomen clench from her touch. 

"You think you're in control here," he stated suddenly and her blue eyes watched as amusement glittered in his, "that's precious." 

She let out a yelp when she was shoved backwards onto his bed. At least the blanket was soft. Simon had a real bed, not just a mattress stacked on top of a bunch of pallets and she moved herself backwards to get in a comfortable position. A satisfied look crossed his face as his hands went to work on his belt. "Take that off," he said, tilting his head at her bralette, "unless you want me to rip that too." Tempting as it was, it was her only bra and she couldn't afford it's loss. Reluctantly, she obeyed, pulling the soft cotton above her head and tossing it to the side at the same time he was stepping out of his trousers and she got her first look at what he was about to put inside her. It wasn't so much the length, but the thickness that had her body clenching from anticipation alone. His cock was rock hard and she moaned at the sight of one of his hands wrapping around it, slowly pumping it as he climbed over her on the bed. 

Her eyes never left his cock as she plunged two of her own fingers inside herself and she moaned as she fucked herself while he hovered over her. "Fuck," Simon swore, his hand leaving his cock to pull hers away from herself. He brought her hand up between them, her fingers slick with the wetness he'd caused. She read his intention on his face and pulled her hand away, her own lips closing around her fingers before he could taste her. He drew a shaky breath as he watched her. "You're a god damned tease," he said and she smiled around her fingers before slowly removing them. 

She didn't know what she expected him to do then, but it certainly wasn't him grabbing her hand and plunging those same fingers into his own mouth. She watched his teeth clamp down hard on her fingers at the same time he lifted her tattooed leg to his waist. Her eyes fluttered closed at the pain in her hand as he quickly guided himself into her soaked core. As ready as she was, it still hurt. Nothing could have prepared her enough for that first initial stretch of her muscles around him. It had been way too long and her mouth dropped open and a wordless cry escaped her as he pushed in farther, til he was fully inside. He barely gave her a second to adjust before he set a brutal pace, snapping his hips into hers, his pelvic bone hitting her clit every time and it was too good. She didn't even register the fact that her toes curled or her back arched. All she could think about was the pleasure that stemmed from their combined bodies. 

"Fuck. Did you just come?" Lily opened her eyes to Simon's surprised ones above her. He'd stilled inside her and she took deep breaths as she came down from her high. A deep blush of humiliation shot through her as she realized that she did in fact, just come. 

"That's never happened, so quickly before," she said breathlessly. 

Another surprise came when he grinned wickedly at her, "Well, I appreciate the compliment, Blondie. But I never said you could do that." 

Her shame faded and the playfulness returned to her expression. "Are you going to punish me, Simon?" she asked innocently before she reached for him. Her hands explored the taught skin of his back as she gazed up at him, "You want me to suck your dick?" 

He started moving again then, slower this time and he smiled down at her as he braced himself on one arm while his free hand found it's way to her breast. "Oh, no sweetheart," he said as he kneaded the soft flesh of her left breast and she moaned when he focused his attention on the nipple, teasing and pulling it til it hardened from his ministrations. A particularly hard pinch rewarded him with a whine and she rolled her hips against him. "I've got something else in mind." 

She was already well on her way to another orgasm when his lips crashed against hers. He kissed her roughly, possessively and she surrendered to it. His hand pried her jaw open and he wasted no time plunging his tongue into her mouth, leading the dance against hers. A moan escaped her as one of her hands found it's way between their bodies and she slid it down, over the curve of her toned abdomen, til her index and middle fingers were spread wide, his cock entering her between them and she smiled against his mouth when she was rewarded with a deep groan. He tore his mouth away from hers then. "You still think you're in control, don't you?" he scolded her, his brown eyes full of lust and his own voice now breathless. She smiled up at him. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," she told him, looking up with feigned innocence in her eyes. He stopped moving inside her long enough to grab her hand from between them and pin it to the bed under his. He must have read her face because he then grabbed her other wrist. He brought them together above her head, holding them with one of his hands while he braced himself on the other and resumed his earlier pace. He roughly snapped his hips into hers and Lily cried out from the intense pleasure as she got closer and closer to another orgasm. "Harder," she whined as she approached the edge, "I'm gonna come." 

Though her eyes were half glazed over from pleasure, she still registered the wide smile that crossed his face as his hips came to an abrupt stop above her. "Are you?"

"What?" The intense feeling faded from her nerves and she was immediately alarmed that her orgasm was just brought to a screeching halt. "Don't stop," she whined, desperately trying to move her hips against his only for his smile to grow wider. "What the fuck!" she half yelled to the complete amusement of the man on top of her. 

"I'm just building you up, Blondie," he cooed sweetly, lowering himself on top of her, til the coarse hairs that covered his chest grazed her hardened nipples. She moaned loudly when he started moving inside her again. Starting at that tortuously slow pace. A moment of slow thrusts passed before he increased his pace. Her eyes snapped closed as she lifted her hips to meet his thrusts. 

"Oh, god," she whined, whrithing beneath his strong body and he exhaled a laugh that rolled down her neck. 

"Give me some fucking credit, Blondie." 

"Simon," she whined as her orgasm started to build up again. She gasped when a particularly hard thrust hit her cervix, bringing with it more pain that only heightened her pleasure. Seeing her reaction, he angled his next few thrusts the same way and she cried out, her voice rewarding him for his efforts and she rapidly approached the edge again. "Simon, please don't stop," she begged, opening her eyes to his and that look he gave her, his pupils blown wide and jaw clenched like he was so close. He was going to let her come and her eyes snapped shut again as she approached the edge.

"No!" she cried when his hips halted again. She tried uselessly to move against him for any sort of friction. Oh, and it hurt. It hurt so bad to have her orgasm ripped away from her like that again and she opened her watery eyes to Simon's amused ones.

"Are you crying?" he asked, his tone a mixture of amusement and lust as the involuntary tears slipped from her eyes. 

"It hurts," she told him and he exhaled a laugh at her expense.

"I thought you liked it when it hurt," he said condescendingly. 

"I hate you," she whined, "I hate you so much." 

"That's not the sort of tone that's going to get you what you want, sweetheart." He released her hands and started moving again and Lily wasted no time grabbing for him. She pulled his sweat slickened skin against her own and his lips came down against hers in another rough kiss. 

"You're soaked," he said in a raspy voice when their lips parted. His mouth moved to her neck, sucking and biting the fair flesh there. 

"You like it," she said breathlessly and he groaned as she lifted her hips to meet his sharp thrusts. She felt herself approaching the edge again and she almost hated herself for it. "Simon," she whined, desperately pulling him against her as her pleasure climbed higher and higher. 

"Please," she begged, her nails digging into his back as he pulled back to look at her flushed, writhing body beneath him.

His free hand roughly grabbed her jaw, forcing her to meet his intense stare. "Say my name when you come," he commanded darkly and she nodded, pulling him against her. She was right there at the edge. His thrusts became jerky and she praised whatever god that may exist that he seemed to be at his limit. He lowered his head to the crook of her neck and she felt his warm breath hit her before his teeth came down sharply on her shoulder. The pain was intense and she screamed his name as her bone shattering orgasm was ripped from her, igniting every nerve in her body and her vision went white as her body clenched around the thick cock inside her. 

Her body was limp beneath his when she came back to her senses, arms laying useless at her sides. They laid there, unmoving for a long moment. Enjoying the afterglow as they caught their breath together. Lily would never admit it, but he'd just given her the best sex of her life. Made even better by his strong body anchoring her to the mattress. She missed this post orgasmal bliss and she never would have expected it would be Simon to give it to her. That realization hit her at the same time as another and she felt panic shoot down her spine. 

"Simon." He must have heard it, the fear in her voice because he lifted his head to meet her eyes. "You didn't pull out," she said immediately and he closed his eyes and released a long exhale.

"Shit," he swore as he removed himself from her and rolled off her, landing on the mattress beside her. He raked a hand through his receding hair. He was too calm, meanwhile Lily was borderline hysterical. 

"Simon!" she nearly yelled.

"I know, Lily. Fuck! I know," he said aggressively and she sat up on the bed. 

"What the fuck happened?!" she shouted and he glared harshly at her from where he still laid on the blanket. 

"It was an accident, Lily." 

But that wasn't good enough. He was a grown fucking man. What, he couldn't control himself? "An accident?!" 

He sat up, anger contorting his features. "Yes, Lily. An accident. Similar to how my dick wasn't inside you ten seconds before you came all over it," he snapped and her mouth fell open in humiliation. Of course he would throw that in her face when it suited him. 

"That was different!" she shouted, getting up from the bed, desperately searching for her clothes. Oh god this was so stupid. Why did she leave protection in the hands of some dickhead. 

He threw his hands up in frustration. "Well how fucking convenient for you!" he shouted back, his own anger rising to meet hers. She quickly pulled her jeans on before shoving her arms through her flannel. 

"Convenient?" she laughed humorlessly. "How the fuck is this convenient, Simon?!" She shrieked, holding her boots and underwear in her hands as she stalked toward the door. She roughly pulled the handle, the door offered no resistance, nearly hitting the wall inside his room from the force she exerted. 

"You're an asshole!" she said before leaving, slamming the door on her way out.


	12. You Shook Me All Night Long

_"Simon."_

_So warm. So soft. So wet._

_Soft whines. Rolling hips. The bluest eyes and inviting lips._

_Blonde hair strewn across the blanket. Tangled from his efforts. A sight that would haunt him. Ethereal._

_"Simon please."_

_Decorated skin that clung to his own, demanding more from him. Those doll eyes, half lidded, glazed in ecstasy and begging him for more. Warm hands pulling him in. Her body eagerly accepting all he could give. So content to let him take the lead but testing his resolve throughout. A challenge. Sharp nails slowly raking down his back, leaving marks he'd feel for days. He returned the favor by claiming her neck. Biting. Sucking. Anything he could get. But it still wasn't enough._

_She was perfect._

_So tight. So warm. So soft. So beautiful._

_So wet._

_"Don't stop."_

_He wouldn't. He couldn't. He needed more._

_More touches. More whines. More her. More Lily._

_His name on her lips. A cry ripped from her warm body beneath his, gripping him tight. Both inside and out. And for a moment, he was sated._

_For a moment, he knew bliss._

His eyes snapped open as his alarm pulled him from sleep. After muting the incessant beep, the hand responsible found it's way to his hair. Damp from the sweat that clung to his skin, he breathed deeply to calm his racing pulse. He'd been a fool to think once would be enough. If anything, it made it worse. That carnal desire was eating him alive. Her touch was seared into the deepest parts of his memory. Meanwhile, she appeared unchanged. Taunting him with what he couldn't have.

He knew when it started. That day at the store. Her rage had been a thing of beauty. Watching her drive her knife into the biter's head, over and over again, til she was covered in the old blood of her would be enemy. It went against the grain. Something so horrific shouldn't be beautiful. But she was. Lily was a perfect fit for this world they lived in.

It only got worse the more he tried to ignore it. He lashed out at her because that was easier. He knew what bothered her and he used it against her. And then John hurt her. And he'd been so focused on not letting her get to him that he misread the situation. He punished her. He hurt her. And for the first time in a long time, he felt genuine guilt. But that guilt would come too late. No way she would consider looking at him after that. He decided it was a lost cause.

Til the next morning, when he saw her outside, working on her truck like nothing had even happened. He started to understand her then. She wanted, needed to focus on something else, so she could forget. Dwight sent her to her room. That's when he got the idea to lend her the tv. Give her something else to focus on. And when he got there, she was high and he saw a rare side of Lily. Her guard was down. She talked to him, made him laugh even. All with her gorgeous legs on display. Taunting him. And that smile she gave him... he was hooked. It was easier after that. The ice was broken. He weaved his way into her bed. Then, finally he got her in his. But one good lay could never be enough.

He wanted more. Wanted her. But he'd have to be patient. He'd watched Joey try and fail numerous times. His advances only worked because he'd been careful to not be too eager. He took his time and she met him halfway. He would have her again, he was sure. Even if he had to kill Joey to do it. But for now, he'd have to settle for remembering.

His hands quickly undid his trousers and he reached for his hardness. He closed his eyes as his mind conjured the memory of her body against his.

Lily was sitting outside the factory as the still rising sun painted the sky. Hundreds of little pink clouds dotted the horizon, glowing from the sunrise. With an inch or so of freshly fallen snow, it made for an odd scene. Almost too beautiful for the apocalypse she was living in. Lily supposed, it just went to show how insignificant humanity was to the world itself. The Earth would keep on spinning, undisturbed by, or perhaps thriving because of the fall. A quick glance at the watch on her wrist told her she had a good ten minutes or so before it would be time to load up and leave for the day. Her right hand was occupied, her index and middle fingers holding her cigarette. A quick movement brought it to her lips and she inhaled. Her lungs immediately welcomed that sweet menthol, made all the better by the cold air around her.

She tilted her head back against the wall of the factory as she exhaled. Briefly, she allowed her eyes to close, more than relieved that the sharp pain in her abdomen had finally ceased. The past week had been hell. Ever since the good doctor Carson gave her that emergency contraceptive pill, she'd been in pain. Like the universe was somehow punishing her for getting laid. It came in waves, offering moments of reprieve before returning with a vengeance. Finally, after the longest week of Lily's life, it waned the night before and Lily slept hard, not waking once. Fuck that pill and fuck Simon too since it was all his fault. He really was a marvelous lay though. The best she'd had and Lily wondered if he'd be open to the idea of doing it again. As long as he pulled out. If he put her through this again, she might just kill the damn man.

She'd been so pissed at him. Being in pain didn't help, all that did was fan the flame of her anger by keeping it fresh in her mind. But he surprised her, he gave her space. He left her alone and she appreciated that. She didn't want an apology, she wanted the pain gone so she could forget about it and get over it. Now the pain was gone, so she shoved all the annoying thoughts away. Pushing them deep down where she could forget about them. She took a deep breath of the cold air and opened her eyes to that still pink sky. It really was a beautiful scene, calming even. The kind of sunrise you'd expect to see in a Bob Ross painting.

The sound of boots crunching in the fresh snow caught Lily's attention and she rolled her head to the right just as the familiar boots came to a stop a few feet away. She focused her attention on taking another drag of her cigarette as she got to her feet. Her eyes rose on her exhale and she couldn't help but notice the two cups of coffee he held in his hands. "One of those for me?" She asked him, excited at the prospect of warm liquids. He took notice of her improved mood immediately and a smirk spread across his face. "As a cool blonde who kind of looks like me sometimes says, 'duh.'" He said, passing her the disposable cup of hot coffee.

She cracked a smile before taking a drink, her body eagerly accepted the warmth it provided. It wasn't especially cold, maybe thirty something degrees. Winters in Virginia had the potential to be down right brutal at times, so she'd happily take the mild day it was promising to be without complaint. His now free hand dug into his jacket pocket and retrieved a granola bar which he tossed at her. Somehow, she managed to catch it with the hand that still held her cigarette. "What's this?" She asked, examining the frosted breakfast bar. "You trying to fatten me up?"

Dwight shook his head as he swallowed a drink of his own coffee. "That's a trap." He said, punctuating his words with a sharp jab of his index finger at her. "There's no way I can answer that without sounding like an asshole."

"I think the phrase is.. 'damned if you do, damned if you don't.' Or something like that." She said with a laugh. He tilted his head toward the trucks and she followed his lead. She stuffed the granola bar into her back pocket. She'd eat on the road, it was a long drive to the subdivision they were heading to, so she'd have plenty of time. When they reached the truck Dwight broke the news that he wouldn't be with her, despite the pouty face she gave him. Him and Lamar were taking a separate team to one of the communities for a pickup. At least she'd have Arat with her. The other saviors were okay, but most of them took themselves too seriously.

Simon walked out the factory's back door bundled up in his brown leather jacket and lit up a smoke as Lily was sitting in the passenger seat of the rusted up Ford rolling the sleeves of her red flannel up to her elbows. She wore it open, over the Def Leppard tank top that Joey had given her. Her bobby pins held the top half of her wavy blonde hair back with only a few strands hanging in the front to frame her face. The other saviors were readying their own vehicles while they waited for Simon to finish his cigarette. With her sleeves rolled up, she turned her attention to the large disc collection, taking her time flipping through the pages to find something to listen to. She'd rearranged the collection, putting all the country discs in the back. Dwight could listen to that shit when she wasn't around.

Not in the mood for anything specific, she settled for ACDC since she knew Simon liked it. He opened the driver side door and slid into the seat while Lily was eating her granola bar. She noticed he looked irritated, so she assumed conversation was off the table. He started the truck and she turned her attention to the still pretty landscape outside the windows as they pulled out of the sanctuary's gates.

_"Working double time, on the seduction line. She was one of a kind, she's just mine all mine._   
_Wanted no applause, just another course. Made a meal out of me and came back for more."_

"Are you fucking with me?" He asked suddenly, harshly breaking the silence between them. Lily turned to face him with a mouthful of granola bar and a deep crease in her brow. "Hmm?" She asked wordlessly as she chewed her food. His eyes, usually full of emotion were unreadable as he briefly stared back at her. His eyes went back to the road in front of them before he ejected the disc and tossed it at her jean covered lap. "Pick something else." He said, turning his attention back on the road. Lily gave him a 'what the fuck' look, but he wasn't looking at her anymore. "I thought you liked ACDC?" She asked, retrieving the disc from her lap.

"Just pick something else." She rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh. Of course, the first day she feels better he'd be in a shitty mood. That's just the universe's way of keeping balance. She opened the large case again and put the disc back before flipping through the case. Her eyes landed on a Guns N' Roses disc, another one that she knew Simon liked. But then again, who fucking knew with the way he was acting. Still, she pulled the disc out of it's spot in the case and popped it in the player.

_"She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories._   
_Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky."_

"Nope. Try again." He said in a low voice, ejecting the disc and tossing it at her. "Are you serious?" She snapped, irritation shooting through her. What the fuck was his problem today? "Just pick something else." He told her and she noticed how his hands tightened their grip on the steering wheel. "No way." She said, sliding the disc back into it's spot before before roughly setting the case on the center console. "You pick something. I'm done." Her granola bar was finished so she crossed her arms against her chest and raised her boot covered feet to the dashboard. They could ride in silence for all she cared.

"Aw." He drawled suddenly, earning her attention. "You gonna pout the whole way, or were you almost done?"

She glared at him. "I am not pouting. You're annoying me." She said matter-of-factly and she saw the corner of his mouth turn up a bit. "I don't know what's so funny." She snapped and his smile grew wider. She tried to fight it, but a smile stretched her own face, despite her attempt to stop it. "You're an asshole." She said, shaking her head.

"Is that any way to talk to your boss?" His tone was playful and she hoped his attitude issues were behind him.

"It is if he's an asshole." She answered before scooping up the cd case. She thumbed through the case for a quick moment before her eyes landed on one of her favorites. She pulled Fleetwood Mac's Rumors album out of it's place in the case before she gave Simon a hard look. "This is the last time. I swear to god I will throw myself from this truck if you take this disc out." She told him in her most serious voice as she slid the disc into the player and pressed play. He laughed, like the asshole he was. "So dramatic."

"Nice to meet you pot. I'm kettle." She quipped as she sank back into her seat. She sang along to 'Gold Dust Woman' and the rest of the ride was peaceful between them.

When they returned to the sanctuary, it was late. The sun was setting, a deep red color that looked angry somehow. A sharp contrast to the soft morning light that started the day.

Negan was waiting for them with Dwight's team standing close by. He stood on the landing that led to the factory's back door, watching as the trucks pulled in. A rare sight. Usually the only time he would be waiting is if they were bringing something important back, or someone was in deep shit. It was the latter, Lily found out when they were told to stand and Negan immediately ordered Mark to be taken to the factory's main floor. Simon took the liberty, quickly making his way between the vehicles despite Mark's protests. He tried resisting, but he was no match for Simon's strength. Mark was easily overpowered and Lily watched as the two men soon disappeared into the massive building. Negan then ordered Dwight to fire up the iron. Which, until now Lily assumed was just another pet name for one of his weapons.

She followed Arat to the factory's main floor. Every savior that wasn't stationed at an outpost was there. Their presence required, to bear witness to the punishment. Had to be close to a hundred saviors, not to mention all the workers. The large space was filled and Lily was at the front. She stood next to Arat, getting a front row seat to whatever was about to happen. Simon had just finished tying Mark to his chair when Negan reappeared. He sauntered over, his face was smooth, expressionless. But his eyes were anything but. A raging fire burned there, similar to what she'd seen from Simon's anger. He handed off his bat Lucille to Simon who took it without question, keeping his face blank.

After that, all Lily could do was watch and listen as Negan talked about the importance of rules. Rules were necessary, they kept people alive, safe. Mark had broken a rule, so he would be punished. The iron, it turned out, was a real iron. Lily 's brow creased at the sight of Dwight retrieving it from the furnace with a metal rod. He passed it to Negan, who's hand was protected by a heat resistant glove. Lily didn't know what she expected, but it definitely wasn't Negan holding the hot iron to Mark's face, burning his flesh. She was close, so close she could smell it. The smell of burning flesh is not a good one and Lily's stomach did a flip when it reached her.

It was over quick enough and Lily made her way outside as soon as she was able. She had seen some shit in her day. She once witnessed a man accidentally losing two fingers to a table saw. She even collected the fingers for when the ambulance crew arrived. She'd had plenty of his blood on her by the end of it, a gorey sight indeed. But it paled in comparison to watching someone's face get melted off on purpose. She leaned against the factory's back wall as she focused on her breathing. In and out. Deep breaths invaded her lungs as she tried desperately to forget the way Mark's burning flesh smelled. A sickly amount of saliva gathered in her mouth at the memory.

Worse than that, now she knew exactly how Dwight got his scar.

"You okay?"

She turned to the sound of the man himself. She inhaled deeply through clenched teeth as she faced him. "I'll live." She said blankly. So would Mark. So had Dwight. She could get over being a witness. She'd push that down with the other unpleasant things. She sank to the ground and retrieved a smoke from her pack. Dwight was ready with the lighter, kneeling in front of her to light hers. Then he sat on the ground, cross legged in front of her and lit a smoke of his own. "You gonna ask?" He asked her after a moment of silence.

"Nope." She said. What good would that do? Obviously he broke one of the rules, she didn't need to know the details.

"Everyone else knows." He said.

"Don't care."

"I stole." He said. "I stole a lot of shit and stupidly tried to run. My wife and her sister-"

"Wait a second. You have a wife?!" Lily interrupted. "Since fucking when?" Dwight exhaled a laugh, shaking his head. "Not anymore." He told her. "Her sister was sick and that's why I stole the meds. I wasn't a savior back then. Then the three of us ran and her sister got killed out there. We didn't really have a choice but to come back. I got the iron for stealing."

"What happened to your wife?" Lily asked, taking a drag of her cigarette.

"She married Negan, to avoid punishment."

"She ditched you? To paint her fucking nails?" She asked incredulously. Part of her couldn't believe it, Dwight was such a nice guy. But she knew people were shitty. She'd seen her own psycho dad try and fail a million times with relationships after her mom died. He went through them so fast that she and her brother stopped trying to remember their names after a while. It always ended explosively after a few weeks. She was pretty sure the only reason her mom stuck around was because of the pills.

"Yeah. She did."

"What a bitch." Lily said and Dwight laughed.

"Pretty much. It's okay though." He said suddenly and Lily looked up, seeing the blood pool in his unscarred cheek in a faint blush. "What?" She asked him.

"Well, I wasn't gonna say anything until it was official. But, I've been hanging out with Maria in the kitchen. She's the one that makes the gelato." Lily's face lit up in excitement at the news. "Dwight, you dog!" She exclaimed, reaching over to land a punch on his shoulder and he laughed. The sound of boots in the snow caught their attention. Both sets of blue eyes looked up as Simon came to a stop just around the corner of the factory. "Hey Blondie." He said to her, tilting his head back the way he came. "Movie time."

She smiled and the two blondes got to their feet, Lily more excitedly so. Simon had already disappeared around the corner so she took her time, walking beside Dwight as they made their way back inside the factory.


	13. Hysteria

Lily was stirred from her sleep. A feeling of weightlessness snapped her eyes open. A gasp left her as she felt like she was falling and her hands shot out, grabbing for anything she could touch in the darkness. Warmth is what her hands found a half second later and then a familiar voice spoke. "It's alright Lily. It's just me." It was Simon. They were moving but she couldn't see where. Then she felt it, the soft mattress beneath her. "What are you doing?" She asked, voice raspy from sleep. She didn't even remember closing her eyes. The past few days, she dutifully returned to her room after their movie was finished. He exhaled a laugh as he let her go, then climbed next to her on his bed. "Did you wanna sleep on the couch?" He asked, his own voice raspy from misuse. "If so, you're gonna have to go back there yourself." It was too dark to see, the tv had already been shut off. A sigh escaped Lily as she relaxed against the soft mattress. "No, it's fine." She told him before letting out a yawn. "But no funny business." She added with a sleepy laugh.

The soft blanket was tossed over her and she felt the dip in the mattress as he laid down next to her. Then a quiet laugh of his own. His body heat was already reaching her. Warming the bare skin of her arms that had been cooled from the open window. She moved her hands beneath the blanket to roll her sleeves down for extra warmth. "Not while you're half asleep." He said. "I want you fully conscious when I have you." Another sleepy laugh escaped her then and she rolled her head to the left to face him. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, his thick mustache stood out as he looked back at her. "When, huh? That sounds pretty confident, Simon." She teased before yawning again.

"Go to sleep, Lily." He said. She exhaled a laugh but closed her eyes anyway. A moment of silence passed and she started to doze off. She was nearly asleep again before he suddenly spoke, breaking the silence in the room. "You didn't say no." He said and she smiled dreamily before she answered. "Mmm. I didn't." She'd never say no to a good time with Simon. He was amazing in bed. That and the fact that he kept up with her and wasn't afraid to hurt her. She'd brought a few men into her bed before that were too timid when it came to introducing pain. Simon wasn't afraid. He even seemed to enjoy it as much as she did and Lily was fully prepared to ride that wave til the very end. 

Her mind became suddenly and painfully aware of the denim that clung to her legs. A sharp contrast to the soft bed beneath her and she groaned at the realization it was keeping her from falling asleep. Her hands were already undoing her jeans when Simon spoke. "What the hell are you doing?" She exhaled a laugh as she shrugged out of her denim and tossed it off the bed. It softly connected with the floor in a muted plop. "Getting comfortable." She said as she rolled on her left side, facing him. The soft blanket felt even better against the bare flesh of her legs. "You're half naked, but no funny business. Hardly seems fair." He scolded playfully and she smiled. "I'll make it up to you." She promised. He didn't say anything else and she allowed her eyes to close. The only sounds left in the room were their combined breathing and soon Lily's evened out as she fell into a deep, restful sleep.

"It's such a magical mysteria. When you get that feelin', better start believin'  
'Cause it's a miracle, oh say you will, ooh babe. Hysteria when you're near"

Lily was under an old Chevy truck in the saviors makeshift garage. Killing time, as usual, til everyone was ready to leave. She was singing along to a Def Leppard song that was playing on the brand new stereo as she scrubbed rust from the bottom of the truck. She was pretty sure the truck was a lost cause, but Joey had his heart set on trying to revive the vintage truck. Though she did tell him in advance, it could never match the charm of the old Ford she and Dwight shared. They spent yesterday morning swapping out the stereo. That was first on the list because Lily wasn't about to go without music. Today, Joey was under the hood while Lily did her best to clean the undercarriage. Joey had been much nicer to her lately. It seemed like he'd gotten over their argument and he was a lot more pleasant to be around. 

It was turning out to be a great morning. Simon was gone from his room when she woke, but he had left her typical granola bar and coffee on his bedside table. Sleeping in his bed had been awesome. It was so soft and his body heat kept her so warm. It was the best sleep she'd had in years. Though, it was a little weird going back to her own room for fresh clothes. She remembered their midnight conversation about halfway through getting dressed and a wide smile stretched her face when she remembered that Simon said he wanted to sleep with her again. She was definitely looking forward to that. 

Her good morning came to an abrupt halt when the gas tank decided to fall apart while she was beneath it, mid scrub. Her hand went right through the old metal, coating her blue flannel and vest in gasoline. She let out a surprised yelp when the liquid splashed down on her chest and not a second had passed before Joey's boots could be seen rounding the vehicle. "Oh, come on!" She complained loudly before landing an angry punch on the undercarriage. Which wasn't the smartest idea, because that hurt her knuckles like a son of a bitch. Luckily the truck was high enough off the ground to not need a jack because that thought didn't cross her mind either. "What's wrong?" Joey asked, his face appearing next to hers as he knelt beside the vehicle. "Oh shit." He said, seeing the mess.

"Yeah, no shit, Skinny." She said angrily as she scooted out from underneath the vehicle. Not wasting any time, she quickly tore off her vest and soaked shirt. "Here." Joey said, holding out a blue button up shirt out for her. He was looking away when she took it from him. "You just have extra shirts laying around?" She asked him while roughly shoving her arms through the short sleeves. "Yup. Not the first time clothes have been ruined in this garage." She might have laughed, if she wasn't still pissed off at the piece of shit rust bucket that just threw up all over her.

"I'm done." She told him as she was buttoning the last button on the shirt and Joey quickly went to work dumping some kind of sand under the truck to absorb the extra liquid. "It's just as well." He said, glancing at his watch. "It's time to go." Lily sighed heavily. She did not want to smell like rusty trash all day. Reluctantly, she scooped up her soiled clothes and the two of them made their way out of the makeshift garage. Lily inspected her right fist as she approached the trucks where a few saviors already lingered. It wasn't bad, a bit of skin came off from her fist colliding with the metal. There was a slight amount of blood but nothing severe. She'd definitely had much worse. 

Dwight was fixing her with a hard look when she reached the Ford and her brow creased at his expression. "What happened?" He asked, nodding at her adopted shirt. She rolled her eyes and held up her still saturated clothes in her left hand. "Fucking gas tank vomited on me." She said, irritation ringing clear in her tone. He turned his harsh look on Joey then. "Are you trying to get fucking killed?" He snapped at the other man and Lily was shocked at the sudden hostility in Dwight's tone. "Hey, It's not Skinny's fault. He was under the hood when it happened." 

"Yeah, D. I even gave her a new shirt to wear." Joey spoke up from behind her and Dwight shook his head at him. "You're an idiot." He said before turning his attention back to Lily. "Go take a shower and change." He said and Lily looked at her watch. "But it's like six fifty." She told him.

"Yeah and we're all smokers. You wanna get burnt to a fucking crisp? It's not a request. It's an order." She was more than surprised by the harshness in his tone. "Fine, I'm going. Jesus." She didn't know what the fuck his problem was but she hoped he was over it by the time she made it back outside. She retreated into the factory as fast as she could, quickly working to scrub the old gas and rust from her skin. The only clothes she had that were clean were her black jeans with the hole in the thigh, her Def Leppard tank and the green flannel that had zero buttons left. What a get up. But it would have to do.

When she was finally clean and dressed, she spared a glance at her watch and she was glad that it was only twenty minutes later. She bounded down the factory's back steps and quickly crossed the slush covered ground to where the trucks were already lined up, their engines running. The cold air hit her face and still wet hair, sending a chill down her spine and she breathed warm air into her hands and rubbed them together for the heat that friction would create. She expected Dwight, but was more than surprised to open the passenger door only to see Simon sitting in the Driver's seat. "Where's Dwight?" She asked before she caught the glare in his eyes as he stared forward. "Hurry up." He snapped. 

His sudden hostility caught her off guard. What, was everyone in a shitty mood today? She clenched her teeth and quickly hopped into the old truck before shutting the door more roughly than was required. But why shouldn't she? She was just following the general theme for the day. Their miniature convoy pulled out of the sanctuary and Lily crossed her arms against her chest as she stared out the passenger window. What a bunch of assholes. Fuck it. She'd be an asshole too. A moment of silence passed before Simon's voice cut through the quietness in the truck. "He went with Regina." 

"Don't care." She responded blankly, keeping her eyes focused on the terrain outside her window. Fuck Dwight and Fuck Simon too if that's how they were going to treat her. She shoved a hand into one of her pockets and retrieved her bobby pins before pulling the visor mirror down and went to work pinning the top half of her short, wavy hair back. A few strands were left down in the front to frame her face and when she was done, she settled back into her seat. Neither of them spoke again and without music, it was a long ride to their destination.

It was a long day. One of the longest since she'd joined the saviors. They cleared out a mini mart, gas station and a pharmacy. The trucks were nearly full of supplies and the sun was starting it's descent. Only an hour or two of daylight was left when they made their last stop, a small strip mall that had a furniture store, general store, gym and some kind of hair place. Lily and Simon hadn't spoken but a few words to each other the entire day. Not that Lily cared. He was an asshole, so fuck him. 

Lily was in the salon's stock room when she heard it. The faint popping of guns going off in the distance. She took off, quickly making her way out of the long stock room only to be met with darkened vision and a sharp pain gliding across her temple when she crossed the threshold. The harsh impact of something sharp colliding with the side of her head had thrown her off balance and she suddenly found herself on the floor of the salon. She'd dropped the large flashlight she was carrying to catch herself on her palms. One of her hands immediately went to the source of the pain where she could already feel the warmth streaming down her face. Pulling her hand away, she could see her fingers were already covered in blood. It stood out sharply against the backdrop of her fair skin. 

"Oh, you're pretty." Cooed a deep, raspy voice and Lily's head snapped up to see a middle aged man wearing tattered clothes. The apocalypse had not been kind to him. His hair was beyond greasy and caked in dirt. More dirt was smeared across his face and clothes and he had more teeth missing than not. His grey eyes bore into her blue ones and she read his intentions as it flashed across his face. She was not about to let some dickhead touch her. Not again. Never again.

He reached for her arms but missed and Lily heard the fabric of her shirt rip. His face was met with a nasty right hook and under normal circumstances, Lily would have smirked at the sound of his nose crunching under her fist. Blood streamed from his face immediately and he backed up, clearly caught off guard by her aggressive response. He glared at her. "Time for the hard way, sugar." That's when she saw it, the gun in his hand. So that was what he'd hit her with. He brought his hands together to rack the slide and her foot shot out instinctively, kicking the gun from his hands. It landed a few feet away and she quickly retrieved her Colt from her thigh holster as he scrambled to recover his lost weapon. Her thumb flicked the safety and she racked the slide as his hand closed around his own gun and she pulled the trigger, firing four bullets into his chest. 

He was dead before he fell on top of her, his weight harshly knocking the wind out of her chest. His lifeless head lay in the crook of her neck and she took deep breaths as she fought the rush of adrenaline in her system. Her temple throbbed from the wound there. The sharp pain was still present, though the bleeding had begun to slow. She lay still for a minute, recovering from the ordeal when she was suddenly aware of a hoarse gasping coming from the face of the corpse all too close to her flesh. How could she forget? It was their life now. The dead weren't dead til you hit them in the head. She knew it was going to be bad but she had no other choice because it was starting to move. She lifted her gun at the same time the dead freak's head rose and she wasted no time firing her gun straight into it's skull.

Oh, it hurt so bad. That sharp, piercing sound right next to her ear was not a pleasant one. Her ears rang from tinnitus immediately. It reminded her of when her dad would get drunk as a skunk and have her fire his guns at cans in the woods that lined their shabby neighborhood when she was a kid. It was how she learned to shoot. Sometimes he'd have her out there for hours and her ears would ring painfully long after they were done. It was dizzying and she closed her eyes to get her bearings. She felt the warmth of the dead freak's blood as it saturated her clothes, the metallic smell wafting to her and her nose scrunched from the strength of the smell.

A startled gasp escaped her when the heavy corpse was roughly pulled off her. Her eyes snapped open to Simon kneeling beside her, giving her an unreadable look as he looked her over. "I wasn't bit." She quickly told him before he could ask. Seeing her wounded head, he helped her up, pulling to her feet before leading her to one of the salon chairs. The sound of the door opening again caught her attention and she turned her head to see Joey approaching. "Jesus Christ, Lily. Are you alright?" He asked and she smirked at his shocked expression. "It's okay, Skinny. It's not my blood." She said before wincing as Simon pressed his fingers near her head wound. "Well, not most of it anyway."

"Go help with Laura." Simon instructed and Joey shot him a dirty look. "Are you serious?" He snapped and her eyes went back to Simon, who was glaring daggers into the mirror behind her. "We can measure our dicks later Joey. Get the fuck out." 

Not having another choice, Joey relented and left the salon, leaving Lily and Simon alone. Simon quickly unsnapped and removed his brown leather jacket. He was pulling off his black t shirt as Lily exhaled a laugh at the thought of them actually measuring their dicks. "Something funny?" Simon asked, pressing the fabric of his shirt against her temple. Lily winced before shooting him a playful smile. "Oh I was just imagining Joey's reaction when he finds out your dick's bigger than his." She said with a smile as her eyes went to his bare abdomen in front of her. The muscles there clenched under her stare and her eyes rose to watch his face. His jaw was tight and he kept his eyes on her wound. 

"You know there's paper towel over there." She said, pointing to an abandoned cleaning cart a few feet away. He scoffed. "Yeah, with about three inches of dust on it." He said blankly, pulling the shirt away to check if the bleeding had stopped. He found a dry part of the shirt and pressed it back against the wound. "Course, I don't know why I'm complaining." She said. "There's a half naked hot guy taking care of me." She shrugged. He smirked, shaking his head. 

"What did he do to you?" He asked suddenly and Lily looked up at the darkness in his tone. "Fucking pistol whipped me like a dickhead. Who does that? What an asshole." She complained before realizing his eyes were trained on her clothes. She followed his gaze and looked down at herself, the left side of her bloody tank top was ripped. One of her hands rose to the fabric. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me." She groaned. Her day just kept getting worse. 

His hand pulled her chin up to face him. "Did he touch you?" His gaze was nearly murderous as he looked at her. His jaw was clenched tight. It reminded her of a few days prior when Mark's face got burned. They were sitting on the couch, mid movie when Lily's curiosity got the best of her and she asked Simon what Mark had done. Turns out, he'd slept with one of Negan's wives. Which was... so dumb of him. Negan was the top guy. Mark was lucky he got away with his life intact. But it was when she asked him, if John had gotten the iron, for what he did that Simon's face morphed into that same murderous glare. He told her that there wasn't enough left of John to burn and Lily decided not to press the issue any further. 

"Hell no. I broke his nose." She told him and she saw the corner of his mouth turn up a bit. "You're good at that, aren't you?" He said, playfully referencing the day they met and she beamed at him. "Hell yeah I am!" She exclaimed excitedly. 

"Hey, ask me how I got his gun away from him!" She told him. His eyes went back to her head as he pulled the shirt away again to check the wound. "How?" 

"I kicked it. Like a fucking ninja. It was so badass, you should have seen it." She told him excitedly and he exhaled a laugh. "Bleeding's stopped for now. Let's go home. I'll make you a martini." He said and her face lit up in excitement. He pushed his arms through his jacket and snapped it closed before laying his now bloody shirt over his shoulder. Lily hopped out of the salon chair and they quickly left the abandoned building. Lily couldn't wait to go home.

Home.


	14. Now Or Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4400 words of pure smut.

Lily was wearing a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and her red flannel when she knocked on Simon's door. Her exhaustion had caught up to her while they were on their way back to the sanctuary and Lily fell asleep in the truck. Simon let her sleep, which was awesome because she really needed it. Her blonde hair was still damp from her recent shower and hung freely to her collar bones as the soft waves slowly dried. The off white colored hallway was void of anyone besides her. Not that it mattered, she doubted anyone was oblivious of their time spent together. Not that she cared what anyone else thought anyway. As soon as they made it back to the sanctuary, Lily helped get Laura to the makeshift doctors office. She'd taken two bullets to the leg in the gunfight and Lily's head wound wasn't bad at all so she patched it up herself, allowing the doctor to focus on Laura. He did give her some kind of glue to hold the skin together though, which Lily thought was kind of fancy. 

After making sure the other woman was taken care of, she collected her now clean clothes and headed to the showers. The water ran pink down the drain for a good twenty minutes or so as Lily kept finding more blood on her body and hair. Finally, after her fingers began to prune and the water was lukewarm, she was clean. She'd been so preoccupied with excitement and anticipation of the night ahead of her that she realized halfway through getting dressed that she forgot to bring her Colt with her into the shower. Which was weird, she always remembered. Spending so time time with Simon was beginning to fuck with her head. She'd only slept with the man once so it wasn't the sex. Though, that one time had been amazing. She just genuinely liked spending time with him. He was easy to be around, at least when he was in a good mood. 

The door opened and Lily's eyes were immediately drawn to the martini he was holding. The tiny glass looked almost comical in his much larger hand. He'd already changed into a clean shirt, which didn't surprise her since she hadn't seen him in almost an hour. He looked good and she couldn't wait to take his newly acquired shirt off him. He was smirking at her when she met his eyes. "Is that for me?" She asked as his eyes were drawn to her own occupied hands. "It is, but what the fuck is that?" He tilted his head toward the jar of peanut butter and packet of Oreos she was holding. "Dinner." She said it like it was obvious. He shook his head but stepped away from the door and let her enter. "Set that down there." He instructed, pointing at the bedside table and she did before stepping out of her boots as she usually did. "You know you'll get scurvy if you keep eating like that, right?" She gave him a confused look as he handed her the martini and she quickly brought it to her lips to taste it. 

"Oh, this is good." She said, smiling as she pointed at the clear liquid in her glass. "But what the hell is scurvy?" She asked him and he exhaled a laugh. 

"Illness. Caused by vitamin deficiency." He explained and she rolled her eyes. "There's no way that's a real thing." 

"It is. But it doesn't matter because I, have got dinner covered." She followed his gaze to the coffee table at the far end of the room where two plates of food already sat. The window was propped open and the tv was already on. Her face lit up in excitement. "Cool." She said, making her way over to the nice couch and taking her typical seat. She examined the plate of long pasta noodles covered in a white sauce. "What is it?" She asked before taking another drink of her martini. Not that she really cared, she'd eat just about anything. He took the spot next to her, as he usually did and she noticed the rocks glass filled with an amber liquid sitting beside his own plate. 

"It's alfredo." He said, bringing his glass to his lips. She nodded, she'd heard of that. "Does it have vitamins?" She asked playfully and he laughed. She loved his laugh, it was deep and throaty and she smiled at the sight of it. "It does." He told her while grabbing the remote. He pressed a button and the movie started up. With the intro credits rolling, they turned their attention to their food and ate in a comfortable silence. The pasta was good. It had a lemony flavor that she wasn't expecting and when they were done, Simon fixed her with another martini. It was stronger than the first but Lily was far from complaining. He settled back into the couch with his own refilled glass and she happily drank her martini to the movie. 

With her second drink finished and now happily buzzed, she set her empty glass on the coffee table and settled back into the couch, making sure to brush her shoulder against his as she did. "You know," she started before turning her head to the left to face him. His brown eyes were already looking at her, that dark, lustful look boring into her. That look alone had ignited a fire inside her. A scorching heat that could only be satisfied by the pleasure of his body against hers. "if you don't fuck me soon, I might just have to do it myself." He brought his glass to his lips before a devilish smirk lit his face. His free hand found it's way into her hair. It tangled itself there before closing around the blonde locks in a firm grip. A gasp was ripped from her when he roughly pulled her hair, forcing her to tilt her head back. Her scalp sang with pain and she felt herself getting wet from the pain he inflicted. He leaned in close, til his lips brushed her ear and spoke in a low voice that had her insides trembling. "Go ahead Lily. Give me a show." 

A soft whine escaped her when he punctuated his words with another sharp pull of her hair. He was smirking at her, clearly pleased with the reaction he received and Lily's hands went to work undoing her jeans. His hand still held her blonde hair in a firm grip and she lifted her hips to slide her jeans and panties down her legs. Her eyes never wavered from his as she freed her legs from the fabric and it softly connected with the floor. "Now the shirt." He instructed, before she could touch herself. She worked on the buttons, one by one while pressing her thighs tightly together as she tried to keep from being too eager. It was difficult. Images of the last time flashed in her mind and she knew she was in for a hell of a night. His eyes were drawn to the shifting of her hips and he smirked again. "Having trouble with something?" He teased.

It was her turn to smirk when he met her eyes again. "I'm gonna ruin your couch, Simon." She watched the slight widening of his eyes, the clenching of his jaw and reveled in the effect of her words. With the last button undone, she opened her shirt, exposing the entirety of her body to him. She'd been braless since her shower and he drew a shaky breath at the sight of her naked body. He released her hair long enough for her to remove the sleeves from her arms. With her shirt now joining her jeans and panties on the floor, she wasted no time laying down on the couch, resting her head across his lap and he stared down at her with darkened eyes.

"Keep looking at me like that." She said as her hands found her breasts. She groped at the swell of her chest before focusing her efforts on her nipples. A moan escaped her at the sight of him watching her teasing herself. Her fingers pulled and rubbed at her nipples until they hardened under her own touch. "Hurt me, Simon." She whined and his hand that wasn't occupied by the rocks glass tangled in her hair before pulling sharply, ripping a cry from her lips. She wasted no more time, all to ready for that pleasured bliss that awaited her and his eyes were drawn to her right hand that slipped slowly down, over her abdomen and lower still, til she reached the apex of her thighs. 

"How's the view?" She asked with feigned innocence as her middle finger rubbed at her clit in slow circles. She was all to aware of the hard cock pressed against her head through his pants. "Perfect." He said, his voice thick with lust. She smiled.

Her left hand continued to grope at her chest while she plunged two of her fingers inside herself. A deep moan escaped her at the feeling of her nerves being stimulated. It wouldn't take long, her orgasm was already rapidly approaching as she fingered herself for her audience. "Fuck." Simon groaned at the sight of her fucking herself under his stare. He pulled her hair again and was rewarded with a whine.  
"I'm getting close." She told him as her fingers moved faster. Her hand left her breast to join the other between her legs. She rubbed firm circles into her clit while her fingers pistoned in and out of herself. A movement caught her attention and she watched as Simon brought his glass to her chest. The chilled glass grazed over her right nipple, a stark contrast to her burning skin and it hardened almost painfully so and she moaned again. 

"I'm gonna come." She whined and his dark eyes flashed down to her own half lidded ones. "Don't you dare look away." He demanded, punctuating his words with a sharp yank of her hair and she saw stars. She cried out, her back arched from the couch and her toes curled tightly but she held his gaze as he demanded. The pleasure shot up her spine, igniting every nerve in her body and when it was over, her body relaxed into the couch as she came down from her high. 

She took deep, steady breaths as she recovered from her intense orgasm. Simon was breathing deeply as he looked down at her and she smiled up at him. "You're a god damned treasure." He said suddenly and her smile widened. "Can I have my reward now?" She asked with feigned innocence, like she hadn't just stripped down and fucked herself for Simon's viewing pleasure. One of his fingers slowly traced her lips and they parted of their own accord. His finger pushed past them and she closed her lips around it, sucking greedily at the digit. He watched her, his eyes darkening as she sucked on his finger before he abruptly pulled it from her lips. "Get on the bed, sweetheart." 

She sat up, but instead of doing as he instructed, she quickly straddled him where he was on the couch and pressed her soaked core against his crotch. His hands came down on her thighs in a tight grip. She hadn't even seen him set his glass down, but he must have because both of his warm hands caressed her skin. "But Simon," she cooed, playfully tugging on the hem of his shirt. He cocked an eyebrow as he waited for her to continue. "you're still dressed." She told him and he shot her a devilish smirk. "Well, we can't have that." He said, his thumbs rubbing circles on the insides of her thighs, all too close to her core and she pressed herself down, rolling her hips against him and moaning as she did so. 

She took her time pulling the shirt up, slowly exposing his chest and abdomen as she undressed him from the waist up. When he was out of his shirt, she smirked before tossing it behind her, not giving a thought to where it would land. He put his hands behind his head while hers wasted no time exploring his warm skin. Her hands roamed the expanse of his exposed skin, feeling the muscles that lay just beneath and when they lingered on his broad chest, she could feel his heart pounding against her palm.

She shifted her hips against his still hard but fully clothed cock and smiled when she was rewarded with a groan of approval. She lowered herself against him, her nipples grazing his chest and he groaned again as she placed open mouthed kisses on his neck, lightly sucking his warm flesh before releasing it each time with a gentle pop. Moving lower, she abandoned his visibly soaked lap as she sank to her knees between his spread legs. A smirk crossed her face at the sight of his crotch before she spoke again. "Well, now I ruined your couch... and your pants." He looked down at himself and released a deep breath at the sight of his soaked trousers. She made quick work of unbuckling his belt. Her blue eyes flashed to his brown ones and she could see his want, his desire. Oh, she loved the way he looked at her. Like she was the only woman worth looking at and the fire returned to her loins from his gaze alone. 

When his thick and veiny cock was free from it's confines, she wasted no time wrapping one of her hands around it. She pumped it slowly a few times, marveling at the sight of it up close before her eyes went back to his brown ones as she dipped her head, running her tongue up it's length from base to tip. Simon rewarded her with a deep groan when she paused at the tip, her mouth open and tongue teasing the thick head with gentle flicks. "Fuck, Lily." He exclaimed breathlessly and she gave him the most innocent look she could muster. "Fuck? Or suck?" 

He clenched his jaw tightly, but he surprised her when one of his hands shot out and roughly pulled on her hair. She cried out and he wasted no time forcing her open mouth down on his thick cock. Her lips were stretched almost painfully around the thick muscle and they moaned in unison when he started pushing her head down, forcing her to take more of him. His free hand joined the one in her hair for better control as he used her mouth. Each pass of her tongue over his cock left him wetter and wetter and soon her saliva dripped down, saturating his curls and coating his balls. His hands had full control of her head as he gripped her hair tightly and forced her mouth down on his cock repeatedly and she was loving it. His groans of pleasure, the way he looked at her, it was all too much. Her hand abandoned his cock in favor of cradling his balls that were already tight against his body, telling her it wouldn't be long until his own orgasm came. 

Her other hand reached for the warm wetness between her own legs and she moaned around his cock as she rubbed firm circles into her clit. "Are you touching yourself?" He asked and she moaned around him again as he forced her head down further, hitting the back of her throat with each thrust and she rubbed herself faster as he vigorously fucked her mouth. His crotch was covered in the saliva that slipped from her mouth with each pass over his cock. Her eyes began to water after a few harsh thrusts into her throat. "Look at me." He demanded and she obeyed, reveling at the dominance in his tone. She looked up at him as the involuntary tears fell from her eyes and streamed down her face. "You're gonna come with my dick in your mouth, aren't you?" His eyes were dark as he looked down at her and she moaned again as she neared the precipice of another orgasm. 

Her fingers worked vigorously on her clit. She was right there and from what she could see through her watery eyes, he was too. "Come on, baby. Come!" His hands yanked harshly at the roots of her hair and her toes curled tightly as her orgasm shot through her. Pleasure shot up her spine igniting her nerves and she could barely hear his deep groan over the blood rushing in her ears. Her orgasm triggered his and she moaned deeply around his thick cock that was now releasing thick ropes of come into her mouth and she swallowed as she came down from her high. 

He pulled her mouth off him and she sat on her legs, resting her head against his thigh as they took shallow breaths, enjoying their shared bliss. A moment passed before Simon's voice cut through the quietness of the room. "Get on the bed, Lily." Her blue eyes rose, past his still hard cock and she met his eyes, still dark with want and she smirked back defiantly. "Make me." Her voice was hoarse from the rough throat-fucking and a dark smile crossed his face before he stood up, moving around her and she watched as he quickly rid himself of his pants. 

When he was fully undressed he grabbed her tattooed arm and hoisted her roughly to her feet. She thought he would pull her but she let out a surprised yelp when he swept her off her feet. Her arms clung to his neck as he carried her over to the large bed where he quite literally tossed her onto the mattress. A giggle escaped her when she connected with the soft surface and she raised her hand, making a come hither motion with her index finger. She watched and moaned at the sight of him wrapping one of his hands around his thick cock, slowly pumping it as he joined her on the bed. When he hovered over her, she made her move by pushing him back against the mattress. Sensing what she wanted, he let her straddle him and his hands went to her thighs just as hers went to his strong chest. She pressed her wet core against the length of his cock and moaned at the feeling of him touching her where she burned most for him.

Knowing he would be inside her soon, that thick cock reaching every bit of her, had her moaning as she moved against him. He watched her move with nothing but lust in his eyes. Even after all they had done, he wanted more and Lily was all too eager to give. She'd do anything, if he would only keep looking at her like that. His fingers dug into her thighs as she slid herself over his hardness, coating him in her wetness. He rewarded her with deep groans of approval as he watched her body slide against his with absolutely no resistance. He inhaled deeply before his hands went to her hips to still her. She smiled. "What's the matter, Simon?" She punctuated her words with a firm press of her core against him. "Not a damn thing." He said, his dark eyes, so full of want bore into her blue ones and he lifted her hips so she hovered above him. He positioned himself, the tip of his cock pressing against her entrance and she moaned from the anticipation. Her body was buzzing for him and it had absolutely nothing to do with the alcohol. "I'm just ready to be inside you." 

A sharp cry was ripped from her when he pulled her hips down roughly, forcing her to take the entire length of his cock. Her eyes shut tightly at the feeling of being completely filled so suddenly. It was only the second time and wet or not she was still underprepared for just how thick he was. "Lily." His voice was close, his breath rolling down her neck and she opened her eyes to Simon's brown ones staring back at her, his face inches from hers. Her hands found his shoulders as one of his went around her back, to brace her and she started to move. A gasp escaped her as she moved herself up and down the length of his cock. He groaned deeply before his free hand pried her jaw open and he quickly closed the gap between their mouths. She moaned as his tongue moved possessively against hers and he lowered his free hand to her chest where he generously groped at her breasts. He took his time, soft moans rewarding him when he focused his efforts on her nipples. They hardened painfully under his skilled touch and one particularly hard pinch had her whining against his mouth. 

He broke their kiss and she took shaky breaths as she stared into his intense eyes, so close to her own. "How does my dick feel, baby?" He asked her, his words barely registering over the pleasure buzzing throughout her body. One of her hands went to his back, her nails clawing at his warm skin, wanting him closer. Each time she sank onto his thick cock, she was met with his pubic bone grinding against her clit and it was too good. Lily never imagined a heaven, but if there ever was one, it was surely this. Simon's body joined with hers was the greatest pleasure she'd ever known. His free hand returned to her jaw, his fingers digging painfully into her fair skin and she whined again at the pain he caused. "Answer me, sweetheart." He punctuated his words by tightening his grip on her jaw and she moaned, her eyes fluttering as she neared another orgasm. "So good. Don't stop." She said and his lips crashed against hers again. 

Suddenly and without warning, Lily found herself on her back. Simon hovered above her, holding her tattooed thigh against his waist and his hand slid up her heated skin to grab her hip in a firm grip. He increased his pace, pounding his hips roughly against hers. She threw her head back and lifted her hips to meet his thrusts as her nails dug into the flesh of his back. "Oh god." She whined at the feeling of her orgasm approaching. He stilled above her then and his hand came down on her thigh in a stinging swat. A startled yelp escaped her at the pain and she took shaky breaths as she gazed up at him. "You've got a real problem remembering my name, Lily." He cooed darkly and she moaned, rolling her hips against his. 

"Simon." She whined, her voice barely above a whisper. And though her eyes were half glazed over from the pleasure, she registered the almost tender smile he gave her. His hand that wasn't bracing himself against the mattress came up as he started moving again at a tortuously slow pace. He brushed the blonde hair away from her sweaty face before his lips came down against hers again. She pulled him down against her, til the weight of his strong body anchored her to the mattress as he moved inside her. He picked up his pace as his tongue and hands explored her body in a way they hadn't before, his touches were harder, his tongue diving deeper into her mouth as if to claim her. He was fucking her possessively, like she was his and his alone. And it felt so god damned good to be dominated by him. By Simon.

He tore his mouth from hers as he continued to pound into her body. "Say it again." He demanded. His eyes were dark, his voice rough and he spoke through clenched teeth. A few particularly sharp thrusts against her cervix had her crying out and she desperately clung to his sweat slickened body. "Simon." She whined as she approached the precipice of her orgasm. She arched her body into his, giving him everything she could while he frantically moved his hips against hers. "Simon please.." She begged as his movements became shaky above her. "Keep your eyes on me." He told her, before grabbing a fistful of her blonde hair. 

"Come for me, Lily. Come!" A sharp yank of her blonde hair accompanied his words and she cried out, his name on her lips and holding his gaze as her orgasm exploded throughout her body, igniting her nerves like fireworks. Spots danced across her vision but her eyes never wavered from his as each spasm of pleasure shot through her. "Good girl." He kept his pace, fucking her through her intense orgasm until he couldn't. His hand tightened in her hair as his other one shot down to grab himself as he roughly pulled out of her. A deep groan was pulled from him and he pumped himself as he released thick ropes of come across her abdomen before he collapsed on the mattress beside her. 

The tv was still on, the movie still playing undisturbed but long forgotten while they took deep breaths as they came down from their shared bliss. One of her hands lightly roamed the warm skin of his back, her fingertips tracing made up patterns and her eyes fluttered closed as she enjoyed the afterglow. A long, peaceful moment passed before Simon moved from his spot beside her as he left the bed long enough to flick the switch on the lamp beside them. Soon after she felt the dip in the mattress, signaling his return. Her eyes opened to darkness and she felt Simon's warm body against hers when he laid down next to her. The soft blanket was tossed over them and she smiled as her eyes finally adjusted and she watched him find a comfortable position beside her. He laid beside her, throwing an arm over her to pull her into him and she let him, tucking her head into the crook of his neck before she closed her eyes. 

"How was it?" He asked, his voice cutting through the quietness of the room and she smiled dreamily against his warm skin. "Mmm. I can't move." She told him honestly and his arm tightened it's hold on her body against his. "Good." Her smile widened at his short reply before one of her hands found his warm chest. She relaxed into him as the exhaustion of their combined efforts took it's hold and it wasn't long until she slipped into a deep sleep.


	15. Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Two and a half years before the apocalypse...

"This is all my fault," she told him, trying to keep her expression blank but failing miserably while one of her hands held his shoulder length blonde hair back. Her other one pressed the towel against the gash in his head that disappeared into his hairline. He was sitting on the counter in front of her, resting his palms on each of his knees. Blue eyes, the exact same shade as hers looked back at her and she could see nothing but sadness there. 

"I can't come back here again," he said, "I can't take him anymore, Lily. I'll fucking kill him. I swear I will." 

Her lips trembled as he spoke. She didn't want to be alone again, but she could hear the seriousness in James' voice. One of them would end up dead if he didn't leave for good. It was selfish of her to try and keep him there as much as possible til she graduated. He had his own life to live and he'd already wasted enough of his time stuck in the same shithole as her. He didn't deserve to suffer in his adult years too.

"I'm sorry Lily. I know I said I'd stay but-" 

"It's okay. It's only a few more months, I can do it," she said confidently and he frowned. The last thing he wanted to do was leave and she knew that, but he needed to. Her eyes wandered past him, landing on the broken microwave that hadn't worked in who knows how many years. "Hey, I made it seventeen years. A few months by myself wont kill me," she added before the seriousness of her words set in, "I look too much like mom for him to do anything too stupid. Besides, if he did he'd have no one around to hear him bitch." 

She gave him a smile before she checked the wound on his head. It wasn't too deep, already done bleeding. It would heal just fine without stitches. She grabbed a q tip and the triple antibacterial ointment from beside James on the cracked countertop. "This is so fucked Lily. You know this shit ain't normal," he said and she laughed before squeezing the tube, gathering a generous amount of the ointment onto the q tip. 

"It's our normal," she said, bringing the q tip to his wound and spreading the ointment along the gash. The surrounding area was swollen and starting to bruise. But that's just how it goes when you get a ceramic plate thrown at your head. 

"Our normal sucks," he said bitterly. 

She gave him a playful smile, "Oh, come on. You're telling me you'd rather be one of those liars living in their nice houses, with their trimmed lawns and screwing over everyone they know for a little bit of paper?" 

"Much rather," he said gruffly and she laughed before he suddenly gave her a serious look, "It wont always be like this you know. Once you're out of here, it's gonna be different. That's why I can't stay. People aren't like this out there." He punctuated his words with a sharp jerk of his thumb at the dingy yellow curtains covering the kitchen window. 

She shook her head at his words. "Don't say that," she said. She didn't want false hope. Hope destroys people. She needed to be strong and accept the way things were so she could face them head on. If things were different on the outside, she'd figure that out in time. Right now, she had to focus on what was current. 

"You better have your shit packed at graduation. Cause you're sure as hell not coming back here," he said and she smiled.

"Actually, I got it covered already," she told him with a proud smile, "Tommy's got an extra room I can use til I get my own place." 

"Tommy Claussen?" he asked, shooting her an unimpressed look, "he's a fucking pot head." 

"Tommy's a nice guy. Real chill. You'd like him." 

"Yeah, real chill cause of the pot I'm sure," he scolded. 

She exhaled a laugh, "You keep saying that word like it's a bad thing." 

He rolled his eyes. He knew she indulged and gave her shit for it whenever he could. "It's an illegal thing," he said. 

She gave him a shocked expression, "Oh, well my apologies officer." She smirked and he shook his head. 

"Not yet. Still waiting to hear back on my application.." he trailed off to the sound of stirring at the other end of the house. 

She rolled her eyes and sighed at the sound. "God, sleep more than five fucking minutes. Fuck!" she complained before shaking her head. It was just as well, James' head was as patched up as it was going to get. She grabbed the bottle of Ibuprofen and shoved it into his hands. "Guess that's your cue," she said, doing her best to hide her disappointment. He sighed deeply before hopping off the counter, his arms going around her tightly and she couldn't help but smile and reciprocate. "I'll pack the rest of your stuff when he's at work this weekend and text you when it's ready," she told him before he pulled back, shooting her a look of confusion.

"I thought he threw your phone out the window?" he asked and she smirked before retrieving her cell phone from the pocket of her jeans. 

She held up the blocky, pre-paid cell phone. Not a scratch could be seen on it's smooth surface for it's hasty trip out the kitchen window the day before. "Are you kidding? These Nokias are like, indestructible. I'm pretty sure they make rocket ships out of this stuff," she said with a laugh. He shook his head before reaching into his back pocket for his wallet. "James, don't," she said, knowing what he was about to do but he ignored her. 

He pulled two twentys out of his wallet and shoved them into the front pocket of her skinny jeans. "Don't let him find it. It's for food and minutes, not pot," he told her and she smiled before his arms came around her again. "Text me," he said and her smile widened. She was gonna miss the shit out of him. But she knew, he wouldn't go far. Not til she was out too.

"Ditto." 

They both heard it then, the shattering of glass coming from the master bedroom. "You better go," Lily said with a roll her eyes before she let go of James and pushed him in the direction of the door.

"Fucking psychopath," he muttered in reference to the still drunk man at the other side of their shabby house. He grabbed his jean jacket off the back of the kitchen chair and quickly shoved his arms through the tattered sleeves. Lily walked him out and no sooner was the front door closed that the screaming started. Her dad was still drunk, still pissed and clearly still remembered getting into it with her brother. 

She quickly made her way through the kitchen and up the stairs to where her room was across the short hallway from James'. She retrieved her key out of her jeans pocket and unlocked the door before throwing herself inside and slamming it. She flicked the lock on the handle before sliding the chain lock into place. Cool, March air poured in from the open window and Lily took a deep breath in before she crossed her room to where her three disc stereo sat on her dresser. The tall stack of cd's were mostly hand-me-downs from her brother. It was where she got her love of rock music and she picked up her favorite. Def Leppard's Hysteria album. The plastic case was covered in tiny cracks but the disc itself was unscathed. She placed the disc on the tray and pressed play. The volume was turned up high, to drown out the angry yelling and she sat on the floor in front of her dresser. Her flannel covered arms wrapped around her legs and she rest her forehead on her knees. Two more months... 

She was alone again, but at least she had her music.


	16. Hate Myself For Loving You

Two years, eight months into the apocalypse. Present day...

_Behave._

"I can't believe he tried to bite you. What a fucking nutcase." She said. One of her hands held his shoulder length blonde hair back while her other one pressed the towel against the gash in his head that disappeared into his hairline. He was sitting on the registers dusty conveyor belt in front of her, resting his palms on each of his knees. Blue eyes, the exact same shade as hers looked back at her. "It's the end of the world, Lily. Nothing surprises me anymore." He said and she shook her head.

They were meant to be scouting a department store. Little did they know, the space was already occupied by an axe wielding lunatic that attacked them on first sight. It wasn't the worst place to get injured though. The first aid aisle was still mostly intact and Lily quickly found everything she needed to patch Dwight up. "I'm just glad he was alone." She said. A quick look under the towel told her that the bleeding had stopped. The wound wasn't terribly deep, it would heal just fine without stitches so she ditched the towel and grabbed the container of q tips, ripping it open before selecting one. Dwight scoffed as she unscrewed the tube of triple antibacterial ointment. "I don't think it would have made a difference. You know, you're kind of terrifying when you get mad."

She smiled and squeezed a generous amount of the ointment onto the Q-tip. "No-one fucks with my adopted brother." She said before turning her attention back to the cut on his head. She was just glad he didn't get hit with the axe. It had been close since the guy literally popped out of nowhere, axe swinging. It was pure luck that his weapon got stuck in the aluminum door of what used to be a freezer for bags of ice. Though, it didn't deter him from grabbing the first thing he could touch on a general merchandise stand and swinging it at Dwight's head, which just happened to be a toy fire truck. The metal ladder on the toy had cut cleanly through the thin skin on his forehead. Kind of sketchy for a kid's toy if you asked Lily. "But maybe we tell the others he hit you with something cooler? Like a crow bar or something?"

"Attagirl. Preserve my dignity." He said and she laughed. "Anytime, Dwight. Anytime."

With the ointment spread across the length of the gash, she grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen and Dasani water, holding them out to him. "It's gonna swell but if you take some of these it should go down by the time we get back." He took the offered items and retrieved two pills from the bottle. Lily went to work packing up the supplies she'd used while he took the medication. "So, how's it goin with Maria?" She asked when he hopped off the register's belt.

Her eyes went to his face and she caught the smile he was wearing. "Good. Real good. I was thinking about asking her to move into my room. Negan already okayed it." He told her and her face lit up in excitement. "Really? That's great, Dwight." She was beyond happy for him. If anyone deserved happiness, it was Dwight. "So what's the holdup?" She asked as they started making their way around the store, taking mental note of the leftover inventory. The nutcase that tried to bite Dwight couldn't have lived there long because most of the food and general merchandise was left untouched.

"Well, I wanna give her something, you know? I don't want to approach her empty handed."

"Hmmm." Lily hummed to herself. Her eyes landed on the racks of clothing. "Hey, do you think Negan would care if I took some of this stuff?" She asked him as her eyes landed on a couple of cool looking flannels. "I'm going through shirts like you wouldn't believe." She emphasized her words with a tug at the shoulder of her blood soaked shirt. Her payback for driving that same fire truck toy into that assholes head a million times. But he deserved it for hurting Dwight. He shrugged. "Probably not if we load up the truck. Take em." With Dwight's permission secured, she pumped her fist in excitement before quickly scanning the surrounding racks for stuff.

"Hey, why don't you give her a flower? Girls love flowers." She told him.

Though he was no longer facing her since he was going through a couple of men's shirt racks, she still heard the scoff that escaped him. "It's the middle of winter. Where am I going to find a flower?"

She shook her head. "No, not a real one." She told him. "One time my brother got me these fake daisies. You know, the plastic ones? He gave them to me on my sixteenth birthday. I thought it was cool, you know, cause they don't wilt. You can have them forever. I even took em with me when I got my own place. Man, I miss my trailer." Her eyes landed on a nice dark green flannel and she grabbed it before quickly selecting a few others off the rack.

"So is that what inspired the sleeve tattoo?" Dwight asked, appearing beside her holding a bunch of shirts for himself. She picked up the pace so he wouldn't have to wait too long.

"Well, kind of. I was going to just get the poison ivy. But James said that would be too dark. It needed balance. I couldn't think of anything else so why not daisies? It turned out pretty sick so I'm not complaining." She smiled and he returned it. The shelves of jeans caught her attention and she made her way over and scanned the little cubby holes for her size of the skinny jeans. There were three pairs left, two black and one grey. She grabbed all three. With the way she went through clothes, she took full advantage of the opportunity to get more.

"Oh, I got it." She said suddenly, turning back to him. "Make one. You carve stuff right? Carve a flower." He thought about that for a moment. "That's a good idea, actually. I hadn't thought of that." She gave a proud smile before he tilted his head back the way they'd come. He made to leave when she spoke again. "Hey, Dwight." He turned to face her, his expression telling her that he'd caught the strangeness of her tone. "Thanks for pulling me out of that truck."

He smiled. "Come on. Let's go see if there's any Honey Buns." Lily's face lit up in excitement and she quickly made to follow her blonde companion.

They spent a good chunk of the afternoon loading up the old Ford with supplies. Dwight let Lily drive back to the sanctuary while he went to work carving a flower for his woman. Which was, super adorable. Lily had only met Maria once in the past few weeks but she seemed cool enough. Definitely not savior material, but there's nothing wrong with that. Besides, she made awesome ice cream. Dwight and Lily were bringing boxes of the supplies they'd gotten into the stock area when Negan strolled in, baseball bat in tow. When they were allowed to stand, Lily turned her attention back to unloading while Dwight gave him the run down of the stuff they'd gotten and what was left behind. He made his way over to where Lily was and she looked up at him when he reached her.

"Ho-ly shit. What happened to you?" He said, punctuating his words with a sharp jab of the barbed end of his bat in Lily's direction. A confused look crossed her face until she followed his gaze to her blood stained shirt and jeans. She smirked when she met his eyes again. "I thought you said red was my color?" A wide smile crossed his face at that. "That it is Lily. That it is." He said smugly before leaning in closer. "You sure you don't want to be a wife?" She crossed her arms against her chest and gave him an unimpressed look. He laughed, like the asshole he was and she rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to the supplies.

"She," Dwight cut in. "beat a man to death with a toy fire truck." She looked over at the sound of Negan's quiet laughter.

"Somehow, that does not surprise me." He said and she smirked when he met her eyes again. "He came out of nowhere and hit Dwight. It pissed me off." She told him with a shrug and she saw amusement glittering in his eyes. He'd only witnessed Lily's rage once, on the one and only run they'd been on together. It was shortly after she'd joined the saviors. A dead freak ripped her shirt in an attempt to make lunch out of her and she did not appreciate that, not in the least. She reduced it to a pile of goop as she had done so many times before. And Negan watched the scene with a huge smile on his face. Bastard even proposed to her, again, not minutes later. To which she politely declined, of course. Lily couldn't recall a single time in her life that she'd worn a dress. And she wasn't into that sister wife shit either.

"Hey, I took some clothes from the store, I hope that's cool." She said and he shrugged. She could see his interest fading. "Sounds like you earned it." If the subject wasn't about him or his benefit, he quickly dismissed it. He spoke a few words to Dwight before sauntering out of the stock area and Lily turned her attention back to the supplies. By the end of it all, she was dirty, tired and in major need of a drink. And a good lay, but that would have to wait. Simon had been gone since the morning after they'd had sex last. Over a week ago now. Which was major pain because she really wanted to get laid but he'd been at one of the outposts dealing with some shit that got stirred up between some of the saviors stationed there.

She'd been left, with nothing but her hand to keep her company. He didn't even say goodbye, which was annoying. Her alarm went off and she woke up, alone in his bed. He did leave behind her typical breakfast though. A granola bar and coffee on his bedside table. There was also a note underneath. If one word can count as a note. When Lily entered the showers with fresh clothes, she dumped her clean stuff on the sink and pulled the folded note out of her back pocket.

_Behave._

A smile came to her face when she read it. She didn't know why she still had it. It wasn't significant in any way. She just couldn't bring herself to throw it away. She hadn't been in his room the entire time he'd been gone. She was definitely missing his bed and his body. Fuck, she missed his body. Not having him around threw off her routine too. She was forced to find other ways of spending her time. Which meant a lot more poker with the guys and a lot more cars with Joey. Not that Joey seemed to mind.

Rick James was playing on the stereo in the saviors break room when Lily strolled in wearing her new black jeans that hugged her hips perfectly and green flannel shirt with a half empty bottle of gin. Recognizing the song instantly, she chimed in on her way to her usual seat. _"And when I'm feeling low, she comes as no surprise. Turns me on with her love, takes me to paradise, do you love me Mary Jane?"_ She sang as she plopped down in the seat beside Lamar. Joey was there, sitting in Dwight's usual chair and cocked an eyebrow at her when she joined them. He was giving her a look like she'd lost her marbles. She probably had, but that's besides the point. "How do you know this?" He asked and she exhaled a laugh. "You're that surprised I know a song about marijuana? Besides, Rick James is a legend."

"Damn straight." Lamar chimed in and Lily smiled as she poured herself a shot. She wasted no time throwing the small glass back before pouring herself another. Arat was there with a bottle of Jägermeister and faced Lily with a wry smirk when she threw back the second glass. "Long day?" She asked and Lily filled the glass for a third time before she answered. "Yeah. A damn lunatic was living in the store me and Dwight scouted. Pretty sure he tried to eat Dwight. Fucking weirdo." With that said, she threw back the third shot to Arat laughing across from her. A quick glance around the room and Lily could see the room was full of saviors. Most she was familiar with by now, a few she wasn't. A bunch of them were engrossed in card and dice games of their own. But almost all had a drink in front of them. Long day for everyone Lily supposed.

"Guess we'll be carrying her to bed later." Arat said and Lily fixed her with a wry smirk. "Oh, please do." She joked.

"Hey, we can make that happen." Lamar chimed in and Arat landed a firm swat on his arm, to which he laughed.

Dwight had been seeing so much of Maria lately that Joey stole his empty chair whenever he could. It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't taking every opportunity to hit on Lily. He was a nice guy and all but she seriously doubted he could fuck her like Simon could. She was starved for both Simon's touch and company. His absence meant no movie nights. It had been a long week of drinks and cards for Lily. Why did he have to up and leave right when things were getting good? Joey, Arat and Lamar were knee deep into a game of poker, a sizeable pile of cigarettes sat in the center of the table so Lily would have to wait to join in. Which was fine, since she was already well on her way to a wonderful buzz.

"Where's Dwight? He didn't actually get eaten did he?" Lamar asked and the corner of Lily's turned up a bit at her inside information. Since he hadn't been seen, she hoped Maria said yes and they were moving her into his room. Dwight finished the small rose in the truck on the way back and it turned out really pretty. Lily knew Maria was going to like it. "I'm assuming he's with his girl." She told him with a shrug.

The card game ended and Lily was dealt in. They played a few games and more shots were taken. It was late into the night when Dwight joined them and gave the good news that Maria did in fact say yes. They managed to get her settled in before she had to go back to work in the kitchen. The saviors came into a shit ton of flour and yeast and they were busy as ever making a bunch of bread. The conversation quickly dissolved into craziest experiences and when it was Joey's turn, a now heavily drunk Lily wasted no time speaking up.

"Skinny's craziest moment was spilling his fucking drink on my shirt." She said before shooting a smirk his way. "I still can't believe you thought that would work." She said while refilling her shot glass.  
"You're never gonna let me live that down are you?" He asked and she shook her head. "Nope."

"That," Arat chimed in. "Was one of the greatest insults of all time." She said and Lily laughed. "I don't even remember what I said." She told her.

"You insulted his dignity and his alcohol." Arat said and Lily smiled. "That sounds right. But to be fair," she said, turning her attention back to Joey and gesturing towards his bottle of Jose Cuervo. "That shit's really gross."

"Anyways," Joey said, desperately trying to change the subject. "what's the craziest thing to ever happen to you?" He asked Lily. She hummed to herself while she thought about that. She'd seen some shit in her life. "Well, I would say the bear in the store but you guys already know about that." The discard pile was two cards thicker before she picked a memory that stood out. "My cat was kidnapped once." She told the group. Joey was immediately intrigued. "Your cat?" He asked with raised brows.

"Uh huh. My neighbor took him." She delved into the story, but had to start at the beginning. She told them how it all started when she was on a run, carrying questionable cargo of course. It was all going smoothly as per usual when the guy at the drop off point decided to give her a 'well deserved' bonus. A baggie of glass. "The hell's glass?" Joey interrupted and Lamar answered before Lily could. "Crystal." He said and Lily nodded to confirm. "Meth?" Joey asked and Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes. Anyways, so there I was with a baggie of glass in my jeans and I'm thinking, how can I get rid of this shit. On the way back home I remembered that my neighbor in the trailer next to me smoked it so I figured I'd sell it to him."

"How'd you know he did meth?" Joey interrupted again and Lily gave him a hard look. "Trust me, it has a very particular, very potent smell. So anyways, I asked him if he wanted it and him being the meth head he was, he bought it off me and everything was good." That was the end of it. Til a few months later when his supplier cut him off or something because he was out and absolutely fiening for a fix. He remembered the one time Lily sold to him and asked her for more. She declined, of course because she was already neck deep trafficking one drug, she was not about to risk another felony. He didn't take the rejection well at all. In fact, he was so pissed he broke into her trailer and stole Colt while she was on a run.

"How'd you know it was him?" Dwight asked and she rolled her eyes. "He left a note. He didn't actually want my cat, just drugs."

"You get him back?" He asked she nodded proudly. "Sure did. Went right over to his place and put my gun in his face. He gave Colt back real quick."

"Wait, you named your cat after your gun?" Joey asked. Lily just shrugged. "Why not? I wasn't gonna name him fluffy. That's just stupid." She joked but he didn't laugh. Simon would have laughed. Simon always laughed at her jokes. Him not being around was really messing with her. He kept popping into her mind at the weirdest times. Like when she was drunk, for instance. Weird.

"Have you ever done meth?" Joey asked and Lily rolled her eyes at his tone. "No. The only thing I've ever done besides marijuana was coke, once. But it wasn't for me. Too much to do, too little time."

The game ended, Arat and Lamar took off leaving Lily with just Dwight and Joey. The three of them kept drinking and Dwight was dealing a fresh game while Lily was pouring herself another shot that she didn't need. She was beyond drunk but still somehow coherent enough to sing along with a Joan Jett song that was playing on the stereo. _"I hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the the things that you do. I want to walk but I run back to you, that's why I hate myself for loving you."_

She was examining the cards she was holding, when she felt the warmth of an arm around her. It came from her left so her mind automatically assumed Dwight until his voice came from her right. "Joey." Drunk as she was, she still registered the warning in his tone and looked up, finding his eyes. They were trained on her left side that was significantly warmer. She turned her head to Joey's face a few inches from hers, giving her a lustful look. It was similar to the way Simon looked at her, but not nearly as intense. As touch starved as she was, the arm around her was not the one she wanted and her face fell before she shrugged his arm off her.

"Well you didn't waste any fucking time, did you?" Lily's head snapped up at the sound of Simon's voice.


	17. Talk To Me

A part of her mind thought she'd imagined his voice. Stranger things had surely happened. But sure enough, she looked up and there he was. Simon was back and looking as good as ever. Better even, if that were somehow possible. Those black t shirts he wore really drew the eyes to his biceps. Her nighttime imaginings had not done him justice. Lily would have smiled at the sight of him if it weren't for the murderous glare he was shooting the man sitting to her left. That only made her want to roll her eyes. Angry Simon was not the kind of Simon she liked to be around, especially when drunk. "Simon." It was Dwight's voice again, that same warning tone and that's when he turned his glare on the blonde beside her. "You call this keeping an eye out, Dwight?" 

"I had it handled."

"So that's how this shit's gonna go, two against fucking one?" Joey complained, raising his voice from her left and Dwight scoffed. "Hey, I fucking warned you how many times? You're doing this to yourself." Simon was looking at her then and she felt her cheeks grow hotter under his stare. It had to be the alcohol because Lily did not blush. An amused smile crossed his face before the argument between the other two men caught her attention again.

"You really think he's good for her? Him, of all fucking people. The shit he's done?" His hand came down hard on the table and Lily watched the slight wobbling of the nearly empty liquor bottles. One of her hands went to her bottle of gin to steady it just as Dwight ran a hand angrily through his hair. Even though she was borderline wasted, Lily could still see the frustration rolling off him. "None of us are perfect, Joey. Hell, Lily beat a guy to death today with a fucking kid's toy. Stop acting like she's some innocent victim." Protective Dwight was coming out and Lily brought her fingertips to her temples and closed her eyes. This was all too much information for her drunk mind to process. Not to mention, she really didn't care about their argument. She rubbed firm circles into her temples while doing her best to ignore the men. The night was going so well until all of this shit happened. 

"I'm only going to say this once, Joey. So you'd better pay attention." Simon's voice, much closer than it was before and Lily opened her eyes to see him standing at the edge of the table. He was leaning far over, resting his palms on the tables surface and glaring daggers at Joey. "Touch what's mine again and you will regret it."

"Yours, huh? I must have missed that announcement."

Their squabble gained the attention of the other lingering saviors in the room. A look around the room confirmed that all eyes were on the exchange. She grabbed her bottle of gin and forced herself to her feet before making her way over to the stereo that was still playing the Joan Jett greatest hits cd. Which, was pretty impressive considering how drunk she was. The first thing she did was crank the volume, she was not interested in hearing the bitch and moan fest that was going on at the other side of the room. They could figure it out themselves. She was just trying to have a good time. The second thing was pressing the skip button til she heard the familiar intro of 'I love rock n' roll'. She hopped up on the table and sat next to the stereo, drunkenly humming along to the song while focusing her attention on the small stack of CDs that were sitting next to her. 

She was halfway through the second verse when a familiar hand caught her attention as it turned the volume knob down. Her eyes rose to intense brown ones looking back at her with an unreadable expression. She smiled playfully. "You done measuring your dick?" He exhaled a laugh at her slurred question and she watched his expression soften. "No need. We already know mine's bigger." She laughed before he stepped closer, between her spread legs and she was forced to crane her neck to meet his eyes. He smirked. "How drunk are you, Blondie?"

"I don't even know how she's still conscious. I've never seen someone so skinny throw em back like that." Dwight chimed in from across the room and Lily smiled. "That's good." He said, lifting a hand to brush her blonde hair away from her face. "Cause I feel like I just got away with a lot of shit." Her eyes narrowed at him in fake annoyance. Everyone else in the room was long forgotten when one of her hands found it's way to the rim of his pants. She watched his eyes darken when one of her fingers hooked over the rim and slid back and forth feeling the warm skin of his abdomen. His muscles clenched under her delicate touch and she smiled again. She missed that. The way his body so immediately responded to her touch. She had only one thing on her drunken mind and he seemed to sense it.

One of his hands shot out to still hers and she pursed her lips in a pout. "You ready to get out of here, mi amante?" He watched with amusement as her brow creased. "I don't know what that means. But yes to the first part." He smiled before his arms came around her and he scooped her up off the table. She let him, forgetting entirely about her bottle of gin she'd left on the table. Her hands clung to his neck and he held her tight as he crossed the break room. They were moving too fast and everything became blurry so she closed her eyes while Simon carried her down the hallway, stopping just outside his room long enough to turn the handle. When they were inside, he used his boot covered foot to close the door and she opened her eyes to him laying her on his soft bed. Immediately her arms and legs stretched out and she moaned at the relief she felt in her muscles. She loved his bed.

A tugging at her feet caught her attention and her eyes watched Simon pulling her boots off her feet. He kicked his own off and flicked the switch on the light before climbing into the bed beside her. No sooner had he laid on his back, that Lily was already throwing a leg over him. She pushed herself up to straddle his lap and his hands landed on her hips to still her. "Not tonight, Lily." He said and her face fell. "Why not?" She asked, her hands were resting on the soft cotton of his t shirt, the only thing that kept her from feeling his warm abdomen. "Because you're wasted, Lily. You wont even remember it." 

A mischievous smile crossed her face and she pressed herself down against him. "It's been a very long week, Simon. My hand is tired." His jaw clenched tight as she moved against him again. His resolved faltered with each roll of her hips against his and her hands found their way beneath his shirt and roamed his warm skin. Slowly she pushed it up, revealing his broad chest and abdomen before he let her remove it completely. Too tired to mess with the buttons, she pulled her own shirt over her head and she moaned as Simon's warm hands found her waist. They lingered there, the warmth of his skin seeping into hers before they roamed higher, over the thin bralette that covered her chest and squeezed hard. His fingers dug painfully into the swell of her breasts, earning a whine from her. Another roll of her hips against his hardness rewarded her with a deep groan.

Suddenly, he flipped them over, so that she was on her back against the soft mattress. He hovered just above her and she smiled up at him. Her blonde hair was strewn across the pillow around her head and he leaned in to capture her lips. His kiss was soft and she sank into it, parting her lips when his tongue begged for entrance. She moaned against his mouth, reveling at the feeling of his lips against hers. It felt so good to have him next to her after sleeping alone for more than a week and she pulled him down, til his body pressed hers into the mattress. 

He broke their kiss and she panted beneath him to catch her breath. A smile lit her face when one of his hands came up to her face and his thumb brushed across her heated cheek, flushed from his efforts. He smiled at the reaction he received. It grew even wider when one of her own hands came up to cup his face. She marveled at the feeling of the stubble that was scattered across his jaw against her palm before sliding her fingers through his receding hair. "Careful, mi amante. It's starting to look like you missed me." She lifted up just enough to close the distance between their lips and he kissed her tenderly before his mouth moved to her jaw and she relaxed against the pillow. "I did." She admitted softly and he paused his kisses to pull back and study her face. 

"You know," he said while his thumb grazed her cheek again. "if you say that when you're sober, I might just believe you." 

She smiled up at him before her hands migrated towards his trousers. "Let me prove it." She said and his hand quickly shot down to still hers. "Not tonight." He told her, a devilish smirk appearing on his face. "Besides, I've got something special planned for you. But you can't be this drunk." Her lips formed a pout and he smiled before bringing his own lips down against hers again. She moaned against his mouth before he pulled away again. "Trust me Lily, it's been a long week for me too. Your hand isn't the only one that's tired." A smile lit her face before a sleepy yawn escaped her and he took the opportunity to lay down beside her. 

After tossing the blanket over them, he pulled her into him. Her hand rest on his bare chest and she yawned again. "Tell me more about this special thing you have planned." She said quietly and he exhaled a laugh into her hair. "It's a surprise." She smiled into the warm skin of his chest. "Is it going to hurt?" She asked playfully and she felt his hand come up and brush the stray hairs away from her face. "I'm gonna hurt you real bad, sweetheart." He laughed softly again before he continued. "We're gonna need a safe word." 

"Mmmmm. Tease." She hummed into his chest before her palm landed against his bare skin in a playful swat. Another quiet laugh before he shushed her. "Go to sleep, Lily." With both of them falling quiet, Lily relaxed into Simon's warm embrace and quickly fell asleep.

In short, Lily felt like shit. She was sitting on the factory's back steps leaning her head against the cold bar of the railing and feeling like her head was splitting in half. The two aspirin Simon had left on the bedside table next to her coffee hadn't quite kicked in yet. The night before was mostly a blur, but one thing stood out. Simon was back. Waking up in his bed provided further evidence to that fact. And though he was gone when she woke, a smile still crossed her face at the sight of the piping hot coffee waiting for her. A quick movement brought her cigarette to her lips and she inhaled, that sweet menthol hitting her lungs somehow brought relief to the waves of nausea that she was fighting. 

The door opened behind her and she heard footsteps approaching before Dwight came into her field of vision when he stood in front of her. Her eyes rose to see him lighting up a smoke of his own. "You alright?" He looked smug and her eyes narrowed in fake annoyance. "How the hell can you be so chipper right now?" She griped, her head still resting against the chilled bar. He exhaled a laugh. "Well, for one... I'm not the one that drank their weight in gin last night." She rolled her eyes at that, which was a mistake because it did no favors for her headache. The door opened again and a few saviors passed them on the steps as they headed towards the vehicles. A quick look at her watch told her it was time to go and Dwight held his hand out to help her up. She placed her hand in his and let him help her to her feet before the pair headed towards their truck.

Lily wasted no time retrieving the massive cd collection from the Ford's glove box. She woke up with a song stuck in her head and she just had to listen to it. She flipped through the pages til her eyes landed on the disc she was looking for. Dwight Twilley Band's nineteen seventy seven 'Twilley Don't Mind' album. She popped the disc into the player and skipped to the song she wanted while the other saviors loaded up to leave. They pulled out of the sanctuary while Lily sang along to 'Looking for the magic'.

The trip took longer than she remembered from the previous day, but that probably had more to do with her headache than anything else. Thankfully, when their miniature convoy came to a stop in front of the mini department store, the medicine Simon left for her was beginning to kick in. It was warm in the truck and Lily had rolled the sleeves of her red flannel up to her elbows. Though, she'd been too tired to do anything with her hair, the waves freely fell to her collarbones. The cold air was more than welcome when it hit her heated skin as she exited the truck. 

The small group made their way into the store where they were greeted by a grizzly sight. "Jesus Christ.." Joey said when they came across the would be cannibal at the end of the register lane. He was laying exactly where Lily and Dwight left him the day before, a lumpy puddle of dark, reddish brown goop where his head should have been. Just beside him, lay the little fire truck toy that had been Lily's weapon of destruction. "He's starting to smell, should we put him outside?" Lily asked Dwight, who was looking smug as ever for some weird reason.

"Leave him. He looks good there." Simon told her and she caught the amusement in his tone. "Nice handiwork, Blondie." He said before stepping away and she couldn't help but smile at his approval. The saviors went to work clearing out the store except for Joey who still lingered beside Lily at the register lane. He stared at the corpse with creased brows, like he was trying to understand what happened. "You didn't think about using your gun?" Joey asked and Lily frowned at his tone. "He was trying to eat Dwight. I didn't have a lot of time to think about selecting a weapon." She said blankly and he gave her a look like she was insane. It wasn't the first time he'd given her that look either. "So, this... was the result?" Her frown deepened at that. The more time she spent around Joey in these situations, the more she was beginning to think he didn't really like her. Some times they got along great. Like when they were working on cars together and listening to music. But other times, in situations like this... when he gave her that look, it was like he was legitimately questioning her sanity. 

Lily turned away from the corpse and made her way toward the pharmaceutical aisle she was already familiar with, grabbing an empty box as she went. Immediately she went to work, pulling everything of value off the hooks and shoving it into the box. It was nearly full when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned her head to see Joey when he came to a stop beside her. Her irritation bubbled to the surface at his accusations and she tore her eyes away from him and went back to work. "Go away, Skinny." She said, roughly tossing the items into the box. "Look, Lily-"

"Fuck off." She said, not taking her eyes off her task. "I'm trying to apologize." He said in a hushed voice. "I don't care. I'm sick of you looking at me like I'm crazy." She frowned before she met his eyes again. "I'm not crazy." They were neck deep into an apocalypse. That lunatic didn't hesitate to swing his axe at Dwight's head. How dare he treat her like she was somehow in the wrong. Like her actions weren't justified. "I know you're not."

"Yeah? Cause that look you gave me a minute ago kind of convinced me otherwise." She was about to pick up the box and leave when his hand shot out to stop her. "So let me apologize." He said and she shook her head. Lily didn't do apologies. He wouldn't of done it if he didn't mean it. "No." He raked a hand angrily through his hair before both of his hands landed on her shoulders. "Why are you so fucking stubborn?" His grip was firm and her back was against the shelves. He was too close. Much too close for her to consider comfortable. Her hands pushed against his chest. "Let go." She said, her breaths already starting to come faster, though he didn't seem to notice. She didn't like this. The last time she was in this position flashed in her mind and fear shot through her. "Get off me! Get the fuck off me!" She shouted before Joey was roughly pulled away from her. Her arms went around herself and she tried to keep herself calm, but it was too late. Her hands were already numb and her lungs felt constricted. 

Dwight was looking her over and anger overtook his features at the sight of her panicked expression. "What the fuck did you do?" He demanded, setting Joey with a hard glare. "I was just talking to her." He said immediately and Dwight turned his attention back to Lily. "I need to go outside." She told him urgently and he nodded before jabbing his index finger in Joey's direction. "Don't you fucking move."

He walked her out of the store, which took much longer than Lily would have liked. But once that cold air hit her sweaty skin, she wasted no time sinking to the ground and leaning her back against the brick wall of the store. The door opened and Simon came into her field of view when he knelt in front of her on the snowy ground. "What happened?" He asked while one of his hands pushed her hair away from her sweaty face. "Joey did something." Dwight said and though the majority of her attention was focused on trying to control her breathing, she still registered his face morphing into that rare murderous glare of his. "Talk to me, Lily." 

"Too close. He was too close." She forced the words out as tears welled in her eyes. Her chest was so tight she felt like she was suffocating. "I can't breathe." Her lungs and throat constricted around her words and they came out hoarse as the tears fell down her cheeks. Her hands shot up to cover her face. She did not want to be seen like this. It was bad enough she had this moment of weakness, now it had an audience. "I'm gonna fucking kill him. Go back inside, make sure everyone stays in there." Simon told Dwight who immediately headed back inside. Simon's hands pulled her own away from her face and her breaths came in shaky gasps as she tried to breathe through the tightness in her chest. "Breathe with me, Lily." He said calmly, his thumbs rubbing circles into the back of her hands. She shook her head. "I can't." 

"Listen, mi amante. We don't have medication to stop this, okay? You can do this." One of his hands brushed her hair back before cupping her heated cheek. His intense brown eyes, so full of concern bore into her blue ones. Despite the feeling of not being able to breathe, the look he was giving her stirred something inside her. She felt compelled to listen. He took deep breaths in and out and Lily did her best to copy him. Long minutes passed by as they breathed together. The constant flow of cold air against her heated skin helped tremendously and soon she was matching him breath for breath. Just as the tightness began to fade, it was harshly replaced by a wave of nausea. "I think I'm going to be sick." She admitted and he shook his head. "No you're not." He said and she couldn't help but exhale a laugh at the certainty in his tone. 

A few minutes later found Lily feeling much better. Simon immediately picked up on the change in her demeanor. "How do you feel now, Lily?" He asked and she took another deep breath in to be sure. "Better. Just tired now." 

"Good. Come on, you can take a nap in my truck." She wasn't about to argue with that. A nap sounded amazing. She let him help her to her feet and he led her to his truck. She laid across the back seat, which was much more comfortable than she was expecting. But the truck was a newer model, so the material was bound to be nicer. Simon went back to work and Lily closed her eyes to the sound of the wind outside the truck.


	18. Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4800 Words of pure smut.  
> They keep getting longer and longer. Lol!

It was a very long day. It took much longer than anyone expected to clear out the store. The sun was almost down when the saviors returned to the sanctuary. It was well past dinner time by the time they got everything put away and were allowed to go their separate ways. The first thing on Lily's to-do list was a shower. She'd been so worked up when Joey upset her at the store that she'd been covered in sweat that dried on her skin. She took her time scrubbing in the shower, making sure she was clean before turning off the water and getting dressed. She decided to go without her bra and panties, certain that Simon would appreciate it. He told her to come to his room whenever she was ready and she was practically buzzing with excitement at the thought of being with him again.

She didn't know why, but every time she was with him, it just made her want him more. Like she couldn't get enough of him. Whether it was his time or his body, she wanted more. And that way he looked at her, she definitely wanted more of that. She chewed her lip on the way to his room, all too eager to get the night started. A few minutes later and after a short knock on his door, it was opened and he smirked at the sight of her. "No Oreos this time?" He asked playfully and she huffed in fake annoyance. "Oreos don't have vitamins, Simon." She cooed and his smirk grew wider before he held up his free hand and made a 'come hither' motion with his index finger.

No sooner did the door close behind her that his lips were on hers in a bruising kiss. Once she got passed the surprise of being caught off guard, she sank into it. His arms came around her and hers found his neck while his mouth moved against hers. One of his hands pried her jaw open and she moaned when his tongue moved against hers. Already she was getting wet for him. A fire started in her loins and she burned for him to touch her there. He broke the kiss, pulling away to study her face. She was flushed and breathless from his efforts. "What was that for?" She asked him, her hands lingering on his shoulders and he smiled. "Nothing particular. I just wanted to kiss you." He explained and she returned his smile. "Well, that was a really good kiss." She said and he exhaled a laugh.

"Come on, I've got dinner waiting." She followed his gaze to the other side of the room. A smile lit her face at what she saw there. The tv was on, window propped open and two bowls of food sat on the coffee table waiting. It struck her then just how much she missed this and she beamed at him before making her way over to the nice leather couch. Two martini glasses were filled to the brim and she wasted no time picking one up and bringing it to her lips. "You make the best martinis." She told him appreciatively and she saw the corner of his mouth turn up a bit. "Eat." He said and she nodded, turning her attention to her food. It was a lasagna soup, which Lily thought was kind of fancy but it taste amazing. Simon started up the movie, which was an old western flick called 'The Gunfighter'. It seemed to be right up Lily's alley so she settled in and they ate in a comfortable silence.

When they finished their soup, Lily sat back on the couch and Simon threw an arm around her and he was rewarded with a wide smile. She sipped her martini while she relaxed into his embrace. They finished their drinks and Simon leaned forward to place his empty glass on the table. She watched him slide a very familiar reddish brown box closer. He pulled the lid off and set it off to the side. He retrieved the small ash tray and a rolled cigar from the box and Lily watched him light it. Despite being almost three years into the apocalypse, she could still smell the strong notes of peach when he exhaled. They must have been very high quality before the fall. She leaned forward and her hand grazed his as she took the cigar from his hand. He let her, his brown eyes watching her carefully as she brought it to her lips and inhaled. It tasted even better than it smelled and she gave him a smile when she handed it back.

He rolled the cigar against the edge of the ash tray to rid the end of extra ash and Lily's brow creased when she picked up on the change in his mood. "What's wrong?" She asked him when he exhaled deeply and his brown eyes studied her face before he answered. "Lily.. we need to talk."

Her heart sank at his words. It wasn't hard to guess where this was going. "You don't want to hang out anymore?" She asked and he scoffed. "Is that what this is, Lily? Hanging out?" He watched her reaction, how her brow creased at his words and her right hand cupped her left bicep while his words sank in. "Others would consider this dating." He offered tentatively, gauging her reaction. It dawned on her then. The dinners, the movies, the drinks... they practically were dating. As far as traditional standards went, anyway. Before now, Lily made sure to steer clear of possible relationships. She watched her dad try and fail a million times and nixed the notion for herself before the same thing could happen to her. But despite her best efforts to avoid a full blown relationship, it kind of snuck up on her.

"Talk to me, Lily." He said and reluctantly, her eyes went to his. His expression was unreadable as he stared back at her. "Is that, something you want?" She asked and his expression softened. "I won't lie, Lily. I want to take this further." Her index finger tapped her flannel covered bicep and she chewed the inside of her cheek while she considered his words. Simon was the first man she'd ever slept with more than once. And she definitely wanted to sleep with him again. Then there was the fact that she genuinely missed him when he was gone for a week. She liked being around him. Maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to try it out.

"Well, what would be different, if we did?" She asked him and Lily could see the beginnings of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Exclusivity, to start." She expected that. It kind of went without saying. "More sex." He went on and she smirked. "A lot more sex." He added and she smiled. "Well so far it sounds pretty good." She admitted and it was his turn to smile.

"So, is that a yes?" He asked. She reached over and took the still burning cigar out of his hands and brought it to her lips. Immediately on her inhale, she tasted the peach flavor of the rolling paper. It really was a nice cigar. Lily wasn't too big on cigars before the apocalypse. Though more than once she'd gotten a wood tip, wine flavored Black & Mild cigar. They were a popular seller at most gas stations. She liked those, but they had nothing on these fancy cigars. She realized he was still waiting for her answer so she handed his cigar back and fixed him with a smile. "Yes. Let's try."

The words had barely left her before his lips came down on hers. She moaned into his kiss. One of his hands came up and forced her jaw to open so his tongue could dance with hers. Oh she loved it when he did that. It was so demanding. And his kiss was hard, desperate even and she wanted more. He must have set the cigar down because he pulled her into his lap and she gladly straddled him. His hands were already busy, working on the buttons of her blue flannel. The long week was catching up to her and she grabbed at the soft cotton of his own shirt, pulling it up and off entirely so her hands could roam his bare skin. He was all muscle and so so warm beneath her palms. When his shirt hit the floor his lips were back on hers, his tongue continuing it's assault against her own and she moaned again at the urgency of his touches. It felt so good to be wanted by him. After everything they'd done, here he was wanting more and Lily was all too eager to give.

With her shirt now undone he broke their kiss and pushed the fabric down her shoulders to rid her of it entirely, baring her from the waist up. "You came prepared." He cooed, his eyes darkening at the sight of her half naked body. She smirked. "I thought you might like that." She said smugly before leaning closer, til her lips brushed his ear and she spoke again. "I'm not wearing any panties either." She punctuated her words with a firm press of her core against the hard bulge in his trousers and he groaned. One of his hands grabbed hers and he brought two of her fingers to his mouth. Her lips parted as she watched him close his lips around them before his teeth came down hard on them and she moaned, her eyes fluttering from the pain he caused. "Fuck, Simon." She breathed and he pulled her hand away, fixing her with a smirk as he did so. "That's the idea."

"Right here." She breathed, her hands reaching for the clasp on his belt. His hands shot down to still hers. "As fun as I think it would be for you to ride me on this couch, you're forgetting something." He said and she shot him a confused expression. "I have a surprise for you and we're going to have to relocate so I can give it to you." He took the opportunity to slide her off him and he stood, quickly ridding himself of his trousers. He was all hard and Lily moaned at the sight of it. Once he'd stepped out of his pants, he grabbed her hand and hoisted her to her feet. His lips came down against hers and she opened her mouth, eagerly welcoming his tongue against hers. One of her hands found it's way to his cock. She pumped him slowly and he groaned deeply as he led her to his large bed.

When they reached the edge of the bed, he let her fall against the mattress. She groped at her chest, teasing her own nipples while his hands worked on the button and zipper of her black jeans. She bit her lip when he slowly pulled them down her legs. When her own pants hit the floor she reached for the slick heat between her thighs but he stopped her, swatting her hand away. "Not yet." He said and her hand returned to her chest while she watched him open the bedside table drawer. A smile lit her face when he retrieved a long piece of smooth fabric. "You gonna tie me up, Simon?" She asked playfully and he smirked before sitting on the bed beside her. "Actually, this is for your eyes." Her face fell and he immediately picked up on her hesitation. "What's wrong?"

"I wont be able to see." She told him. She didn't know if she could handle that. She had so many issues with space, that last thing she wanted was to freak out in the middle of sex. It dawned on him then. "Shit, the claustrophobia." His hand came up to cup her cheek. His brown eyes, so full of want stared back at her. She wanted him too and she definitely wanted to see what he had planned. "I'll try it." She decided and gave him a smile. He didn't look convinced. "Are you sure?"

"Definitely." She said and she closed her eyes, sitting up straight so he could easily tie the fabric over her eyes. "The safe word... is gin." He said and she smiled. The fabric was placed over her eyes and tied firmly behind her head. It wasn't as uncomfortable as she was expecting. His lips brushed hers again, his moustache lightly ticking her skin and her smile grew wider.

"Now, I'm leaving your hands free. If it's too much, you can remove the blindfold. But, if you need me to stop for anything, just say the safe word. Alright?" If anything she was burning with curiosity to see what he had planned for her. She nodded in obedience and heard him exhale a laugh close by. "Lie down, Lily." She did, she laid on her back in what she assumed was the center of the bed. Soon after she felt the dip in the mattress of Simon beside her. "Not quite." He said and rolled her over til she was on her front. She laughed. "This is starting to get kinky, Simon." She teased as he got comfortable on her legs, his cock poking the flesh of her bare ass cheek.

"You have no idea, sweetheart." He told her and she heard a popping sound, like a lid being removed from a bottle. She tensed when she felt a liquid dripping up her spine. The blindfold cutting off her eye sight was making her other senses work overtime to make up the difference. Every breath they took, every time he shifted above her, every sound he made was so much stronger than it was before. Warm hands touched the bare flesh of her back and she released a deep exhale when he started rubbing what she assumed was oil into her skin.

Not a moment passed before she was squirming under his touch. The oil heated her skin and she lifted her hips instinctively searching for some kind of friction. "Eager?" He teased and she moaned. "It's been a long week, Simon. This is torture." She whined, pushing her hips back. His cock was so close, if she could just angle it right..

A sharp yelp escaped her when his hand came down on her ass in a stinging swat. She drew a shaky breath as she recovered from the intense sensation. There would be a mark on her skin from the force of his blow, she was sure of it. "Fuck.. do that again." She instructed and he did. Again and again his hands rained down on her ass while she moaned and squirmed against the mattress. It went on, til both of her cheeks were stinging, her skin a deep red color from his many smacks against her bare flesh. It wasn't long til she was panting, needy and absolutely soaked for him. "Simon.." She groaned breathlessly, reveling in the pain he caused. "You're dripping down your thighs, Lily." He cooed while one of his fingers ran along the inside of her thigh, swiping away some of the moisture there. He pulled his hand away and a second later released a deep groan and she knew he had just tasted her. That thought alone had her pushing her hips back, silently begging for him for fill her. "Simon please.." She whined needily.

"Yes, sweetheart? Something you need?" He cooed sweetly while his hands started massaging more oil into her burning cheeks. How could he be so calm when she was nearly out of her mind with arousal. "Fuck me. Fuck I'm so ready. Fuck me now." She breathed against the mattress. Her hands gripped the sheet in tight fists while she pushed back against him. She heard him exhale a laugh before the sound of more oil being squirted out of it's container. Then she felt it, two of his thick fingers entering her and she moaned deeply, throwing her hips back immediately. "That's it baby. Fuck yourself on my fingers." He sat up a bit so she could move freely and she did. She happily threw her hips back against his hand. That's when the oil started to activate inside her. It heated her insides and she whined as an orgasm quickly built up. "I'm gonna come." His free hand came down on her ass and she cried out. She was right there at the edge. His hand then tangled in her blonde hair before yanking hard at the roots and she came undone, crying out as she did so. Her toes curled tightly as her orgasm washed over her and her body clenched around the thick digits inside her.

"Fuck." She breathed, recovering from her intense orgasm. Simon was ready to be inside her then it seemed because he pulled her hips up, so she was on her knees. He positioned himself and slowly entered her, groaning deeply as her walls stretched around his thick muscle. She moaned when he was fully inside, this new angle making him go deeper than ever before and her hands gripped the sheet again while she adjusted to the intense stretch. He pulled out just as slowly and paused, the tip lingering inside her. And she heard that sound, more oil being applied and it wasn't hard to guess where. Another thrust, just as slow as the first one and he stilled when he was fully inside. She had never had a cock as thick as his inside her. It was almost too much. She shifted her hips. "Move." She instructed, though it came out more like a whine. "But you did so well the first time." He cooed and it hit her what he wanted. One of his hands pulled at her hair again and she whined. The oil was warming every bit of her insides and she started moving against him. Pushing and pulling her hips against him. "Fuck." She whined as she moved.

"How does my dick feel, baby?" He asked, his free hand massaging the sore skin of her ass and she moaned again.

"Fuck, Simon. So good. I love it. Fuck, I love it so much." His hands left her then but she kept moving against him. "You're going to like this even more." He said and she heard the very familiar sound of a lighter flicking. She tensed, nearly stilling her hips in the process. He made up for it by thrusting sharply, hitting her cervix and she cried out. "Don't stop Lily. You feel so good wrapped around my dick." He cooed. She moaned deeply at his filthy words and picked up the pace again. "Good girl." He said sweetly once she established a decent pace, panting and moaning while she fucked herself on his cock. "It's just a candle. Nothing to worry about."

That's when she felt it. The burning hot wax from the candle hit her lower back and she gasped from the sensation of it dripping on her skin. "Oh my god." She whined, rapidly approaching the precipice of what promised to be an amazing orgasm. One of his hands came down in a harsh swat on her already sore ass, adding more pain to accompany the hot wax on her back. "My name, Lily." He reminded her in a firm voice and she moaned again. The wax hit her skin again but this time he didn't stop. She moaned and clenched around him as it fell in hot droplets that ran up her spine and she couldn't stop herself. She came, hard. Her back arched and she cried out his name as she did. He snapped his hips into her, roughly fucking her through her intense orgasm before he quickly pulled out, groaning deeply and she felt his warm come paint her tender flesh. He exhaled harshly and they breathed together as they came down from their shared high.

"Fuck, Lily." He groaned before she felt him wipe his come off her skin. His still hard cock pushed back inside her and she moaned from the sensitivity. "Almost started a fire there." He said and she exhaled a laugh before moaning softly when he started to move inside her. "Do I feel that good, Simon?" She asked him with feigned innocence and he groaned again. "You have no idea, baby. You're so _tight_. And _wet_. Fuck." He punctuated his words with a few sharp thrusts inside her that had her crying out. "So fucking tight. Just for me. Fuck." She writhed against the mattress as his words ignited a fire inside her. "Oh, Simon. Harder. Fuck me harder." The oil was still heating her insides and she whined from anticipation alone when she heard the lighter being flicked on again.

The burning hot wax hit her skin again and she moaned, clenching her eyes tight from the sensation. Her hips rolled of their own accord while he dripped the hot wax up her spine and back down again. Burning hot droplets hit her skin all over and she writhed beneath him from the sensation. One of his hands held her hip in a bruising grip and he pulled her against his every thrust. His cock sank deeply inside her each time and she cried out loudly from the sheer pleasure of it all. He must have ditched the candle because his other hand rubbed the half dried wax into her skin and she moaned again when he focused on her still heated spine. Another orgasm was just starting to build up in her nerves when he roughly pulled out of her, leaving her aroused and confused. Just when she lifted her head to ask, he rolled her over and pushed her legs apart before thrusting back inside, earning a gasp from the roughness of his thrust.

Her hands immediately grabbed for him, her nails digging deeply into the sweat slickened skin of his back. He pulled the blindfold off and his lips came down on hers. She moaned against his mouth, parting her lips to give him better access. His tongue plunged into her mouth, leading the dance against hers and he snapped his hips roughly into hers. The hand he wasn't using to brace himself against the mattress came up and grabbed her breast, his fingers digging painfully into her soft flesh. She tore her lips away from his so she could breathe. "I'm gonna come." She told him and watched how his eyes darkened, a devilish smirk appearing on his face. "Not yet." He told her and her eyes closed tightly. One of her hands found it's way between their bodies and she pushed it down to where his cock was roughly pistoning in and out of her. She spread her index and middle fingers wide, feeling him as he fucked her. "Open your eyes." He demanded and she obeyed. Her eyes, half glazed from her many orgasms opened to see his brown ones, so full of desire staring back at her. "Keep them on me." He told her, his warm breath rolling down her face and neck only contributing to the most erotic experience of her life.

His hand groped her chest and teased her nipples. They hardened painfully, further stimulating her nerves and she cried out when she was forced to work harder at keeping her orgasm at bay. "Fuck, Simon please. I can't." She begged and his lips came down hard against hers. He kissed her hungrily, touching her harder, fucking her faster and her orgasm was rapidly reaching a crescendo.

He broke their kiss, his mouth hovered just above hers, his every breath rolling off her face while he stared into her eyes. "Are you gonna come real hard on my dick, baby?" He asked and she nodded frantically. She was so ready. He felt so good inside her, she needed to come. He gabbed her hand that was still feeling their combined bodies and brought it up between their faces, her fingers slick with her own wetness. "Look how soaked you are." He panted. His pupils were blown wide, he was at the edge of his own orgasm and Lily could do nothing but whine when his tongue ran up the length of her fingers, tasting her. She couldn't wait any longer. Her orgasm was coming, with or without his permission. "Simon, I'm gonna come."

"Come on baby. Come on my dick." He said before closing his mouth around her wet fingers and biting, hard. The sharp pain in her hand, the way his intense brown eyes bore into her blue ones, his thick cock fucking her into the mattress. It was all too much and she instantly came undone, screaming his name as she did. Her orgasm shot up her spine, igniting every nerve in her body and her vision went white as her body arched into his.

Her body was limp beneath his when her vision came back to her. She barely registered Simon roughly pulling himself out of her, groaning her name into her chest as he pumped himself, releasing thick ropes of come across her abdomen before collapsing on top of her. They laid there, unmoving for a long moment, basking in the afterglow while they caught their breath together. After a moment, he lifted off her enough to look at her. She was still limp against the mattress, her hair a tangled mess, her body flushed and thoroughly fucked and she smiled up at him. "Did you enjoy your surprise?" He asked her while one of his hands pushed the stray blonde hairs away from her sweaty face. "I loved it." She breathed before lifting up enough to close the distance between their lips. He kissed her tenderly and Lily realized, she didn't mind. It felt right. He felt right.

He broke their kiss and pulled away, leaving the bed to turn off the light. The movie was still playing at the other end of the room but it was quiet enough to be easily ignored. She watched his dimly lit silhouette return to the bed and he laid down beside her before throwing the blanket over them. He pulled her body against his and she wasted no time throwing an arm across his chest and snaking one of her legs between his. He hummed contentedly, holding her against him and she smiled against his warm chest. For the first time in her life, she had a boyfriend and somehow she was okay with it. The apocalypse just kept getting weirder. She exhaled a laugh against his still sweaty skin. "What?" He asked and her smile widened.

"Are you sure you don't want a girlfriend with bigger tits?" She asked playfully. His body shook with silent laughter. "I'm an ass man, Lily. And yours is divine." His hand slid from the dip of her waist, over her hip and squeezed the still sore flesh of her ass. She moaned from the feeling and lifted up enough to press her lips to his. He pulled away, his free hand coming up to hold her jaw in place so he could look at her. His eyes were intense as he looked her over. Her lips were still swollen from his rough kisses, her blonde hair still tangled and her naked body was still half draped over his. "Fuck, you're beautiful." He said and her eyes widened, her lips parting in surprise. He'd never said anything like that before. No one had. She knew she was decent looking. She was a natural blonde with great skin, most guys were into that. But there's a difference between a man calling you hot in a bar you're technically too young to be drinking in without a fake ID and a man telling you he thinks you're beautiful.

He smirked at her reaction. "What? You didn't know?" He teased and that's when she felt it. A new kind of heat sprouted in her cheeks and warmed her chest. Immediately she tried to lower her face before he could see it, but his grip on her jaw tightened. "You're blushing, Lily." He said, amusement clear in his tone and she pulled her face away from him, rolling onto her back. "Am not." She said, turning her face away. He got on top of her then, using one arm to brace himself against the mattress while his other pulled her jaw back to face him. "Are too." He smirked. Her blush deepened under his intense stare. "So fucking beautiful." He said again, his grip tightening on her jaw and she moaned from the deliberate pain he caused. "It's downright sinful." He said before forcing her legs open with his own and she moaned again when he roughly guided his already hard again cock back inside her.


	19. Kickstart My Heart

When Lily woke to the annoying sound of her alarm, she was still beyond exhausted. Simon's stamina was otherworldly Lily found out when he kept her coming til late into the night. He'd been holding out on her. She stretched out in his bed and her muscles screamed their protest at being used without proper rest. Every bit of her was sore from the previous night and Lily wondered how the hell she was going to get through a long day of work feeling this way. The room was empty except for her, but she was used to that. She rolled her head to the right and smiled at the sight of the coffee and Honey Bun waiting for her. Two aspirin sat just beside her breakfast. Simon must have known she'd be sore. She made a mental note to thank him for the pills. 

Though she desperately needed to shower since she was covered in their combined fluids and plenty of dried candle wax, she took her time enjoying the breakfast he'd left for her. She couldn't believe he dripped burning hot candle wax on her skin. Nor the fact that she loved every second of it. Lily had never done anything like that before. She liked pain but her previous partners had only gone as far as bites, hair pulling and a little bit of light spanking. Simon hurt her, really hurt her and she loved every bit of it. And that oil, she didn't know what that was but she definitely wanted to use that again. Not to mention the fact she'd been so focused on his every touch and sound that the blindfold didn't bother her one bit. Simon was too good in bed, she decided. Everything he did was perfectly executed and she already couldn't wait for more. 

With her Honey Bun and coffee finished, she made her way across the hall to her own room for fresh clothes. Her shower took much longer than she anticipated, but that's just the way it goes when you have to peel dried candle wax off your skin by yourself. She pitied whichever worker would be tasked with cleaning their sheets. It was dotted with dried wax and Lily wondered if it was even salvageable. It wouldn't surprise her if they had to be tossed in the trash. When she was finally clean, she shut the water off and dressed in a pair of black jeans and a red flannel. A quick look at her watch told her it was just after six forty when she was finally clean, dressed and strapped. With nothing else to do and a second cup of coffee sounding pretty good, she made her way to the saviors makeshift breakroom. 

When Lily entered the break room she immediately spotted Simon and Negan at one of the tables. A cup of coffee was sitting in front of each of them and she took a knee at the sight of her boss like she had done so many times before. With an uninterested wave of Negan's hand she was allowed to rise and she went about her business of getting another cup of coffee. Just as she was filling a disposable cup with that piping hot liquid, Simon caught her attention when he appeared next to her. 

She met his eyes with a smile, but that wasn't good enough it seemed because he hooked a finger over the V in her shirt's neck and pulled her closer before his lips came down on hers in a bruising kiss. She somehow managed to set the coffee pot on the counter top and brought her free hand to his back, her nails digging into him through the soft cotton of his t shirt. A soft moan escaped her as she sank into his kiss and he smiled against her mouth before he pulled away. 

His arms never left her though, he pulled her into him and she let him. One of his hands came up and brushed her still damp hair away from her face. "How'd you sleep?" He asked and her eyes narrowed in fake annoyance. "What little bit of sleep I did get was wonderful, thankyou." She teased earning a wide smile from the man. "Well, I was just making good on my promise, mi amante." She shook her head and took a sip of her hot coffee. 

"Anyways, I have something for you." He said, leaning against the counter and reaching into the front pocket of his trousers. He retrieved a small, black box and Lily tilted her head at the sight of it. "What is it?" She asked when he pressed it into her free hand. "You're just gonna have to open it to find out, aren't you?" Her eyes flashed to his and he was smirking at her.

She set her coffee on the counter before she hopped up to sit on the fake marble countertop and pulled the lid off the small box. Her lips parted in surprise at what she saw. Inside the box lay a brand new Zippo lighter. A beautiful lily was engraved into the metal of the broad side. "I meant to give it to you last night, but we got a little busy." She couldn't help but smile at the amusement in his tone. "Where did you get this?" She asked, taking the lighter out of the box and rubbing her thumb over the engraving. She turned it over in her hand, the opposite side sported a mirror image. Another lily thinly etched into the metal. It was too nice. She'd never been given anything this nice before. She met his eyes and he was smirking at her. "There's an old smoke shop next to the satellite outpost." He explained. "I already filled it with fluid, so it's ready to go." 

She bit her lip and opened the lighter. Her thumb struck the flint wheel and the lighter came to life. She beamed at him. "Do you like it?" He asked and she closed the lid against her thigh, effectively extinguishing the flame. "Of course I do." She said immediately. "It's beautiful." Her thumb ran across the floral engraving once more and he stepped closer, between her spread legs and she looked up at him with a smile. She set the now empty box on the counter and shoved her new lighter into her back pocket beside her pack of menthol Camels. 

Her hands found their way to the front of his cotton shirt. "Come here, you." She cooed before pulling him down to meet his lips with her own. One of his arms went around her, holding her against him while his other tangled in her still damp hair and she moaned into their kiss. Both of her hands went to his back, her nails lightly digging into his skin through the thin shirt he wore and he released a deep groan against her mouth.

He broke their kiss, his hand tightened in her hair before pulling hard and exposing the length of her neck to him. Another soft moan escaped her and her eyes fluttered closed. Everyone else in the room was long forgotten when his warm mouth trailed kisses across her jaw til his lips brushed against her ear. "Te deseo, mi amante." He said quietly, his voice raspy from lust and she moaned again. "I don't know what that means. But fuck, I love the way it sounds." She said and he exhaled a laugh before he pulled away, looking as smug as ever. 

"If you two aren't going to fuck after that, I am going to be very disappointed." Negan called from across the room and Lily smirked. "There's nowhere near enough time." She said without taking her eyes off Simon's brown ones. "Not the way we do it." He added and she smiled before pulling him down for another kiss. 

When their lips parted, Lily reached for her coffee beside her before sliding off the counter. "I'm going for a smoke." She told Simon before she turned away. She didn't make it two steps before the palm of his hand landed on her ass in a firm swat. She turned to face him with a wide smile. He was smirking, clearly proud of himself and she shook her head. "Tease." She cooed before making her way out of the break room. 

She was sitting in the passenger seat of the old Ford truck, her cigarette half finished and flipping through the CD case searching for something good to listen to when Dwight caught her attention. He opened the driver's side door and slid into the seat, leaving the door propped open, same as hers while he lit up a smoke of his own. "So you finally made it official, huh?" He said after taking his first drag. Lily smirked at her blonde companion. "Yep. Oh and look. He got me this." She said, holding the lighter up so Dwight could see. Dwight smirked at the sight of it. "Smart man. Girls love flowers." He said. "Especially ones that don't wilt." He added and she smiled before turning her attention back to the disc collection. Her eyes landed on an AC/DC album and she removed it from it's spot in the case before popping it in the truck's stereo. She liked their music before, but now thanks to listening to them so much with Simon, she was a huge fan. 

The rest of the saviors were filing out of the factory and Lily watched them ready their vehicles. Arat shot her a knowing smile and Lily shook her head, smirking while the bleach blonde woman started up her vintage Jeep. It was a relatively short time later when the saviors miniature convoy came to a stop outside a small strip mall. Lily downed the rest of her coffee before she exited the old truck. She lit up a smoke while she waited with the others for Dwight, Lamar and Joey to scope out each of the three stores for dead freaks or possible rogue, axe wielding cannibals. 

When the all clear was given, Lily joined Dwight and Joey in clearing out the small pharmacy while the others focused on the general goods store. The third space used to be a gym and held nothing of value for them. Joey hadn't spoken a word to her since he'd upset her the day before. Though she did see him shooting a few guilty looks her way when he thought she couldn't see. Which, was good, she thought. He deserved to feel guilty for getting in her face like that. He could have just dropped it and she would have gotten over it in her own time, but he pushed her, forcing his apology on her like an asshole. He was just lucky Dwight had stepped in before Simon could beat the hell out of him. Arat told her when she returned to work after her nap that it had been close when Simon returned to the store. Dwight pulled Simon away before any real damage could be done. But the threat of violence was apparently enough, because he hadn't spoken a word to her since. 

They were a couple of hours in to clearing out both shops when Lily heard a faint meowing when she placed a milk crate full of pill bottles into the bed of the vintage Ford. She paused, listening for the sound again and sure enough, she heard it again. It came from beneath the truck so she dropped to a kneel on the icy ground and peeked under to see a small mackerel tabby cat kitten staring back at her. She smiled when it meowed at her. With careful movements so she wouldn't startle it, she crawled under the truck and held her hand out making clicking noises with her tongue. It was apparently enough to pique the kitten's interest because it came right over and Lily smiled again when it rubbed against her hand. It couldn't have been more than a few months old and was terribly underweight by the looks of it. "Hey little dude." She cooed when it came close enough for her to pet it. 

"Everything alright down there?" Lily looked behind her to see the bottom half of Simon's trouser covered legs and boots. Turning back to the kitten she put her hand under it's belly to test if it would let her pick it up. The kitten gave no resistance and she smiled before scooping it up of the frosty ground. Carefully she wiggled herself from underneath the truck while carefully cradling her new friend against her chest and fixed Simon with a wide smile when she stood in front of him. "Look!" She said excitedly, showing off the kitten. He was instantly amused at the sight of her. "Made a new friend, have you?" He asked and she nodded proudly, her free hand scratching behind it's ear. 

"It was out here alone, I feel bad for it." She told him, looking down at the kitten. She knew how it felt to be alone, it sucked. Simon surprised her when he reached over, his fingers lightly scratching the top of the kitten's head and when she looked up, he was fixing her with an unreadable expression. "Well, what are you going to name it?" He asked and a wide smile lit her face. "Really?!" 

"Sure, why not? You're cleaning up after it though." He told her firmly and she stepped closer, her free hand going to the collar of his jacket and she pulled him down for a kiss. He smiled against her mouth before pulling away. "So, the name.." He pressed and she lifted the kitten to see what kind of sex they were dealing with. "Well, it's a male so..." She had to think. Lily had never been good at naming things. It was a lot of pressure. The cat would probably live for a good twelve or so years, so she had to pick something that she wouldn't mind repeating for that long. Her other cat's name, Colt came easily enough but she was drawing a blank this time around.

Lily never set out to be a crazy cat lady, it just sort of happened. She was a cat magnet apparently. She acquired Colt in nearly the same way as the kitten she was holding. She woke up one morning and had every intention of stepping out onto her trailer's tiny porch for a smoke but no sooner had the door opened that a little orange blur shot past her, scaring the shit out of her in the process. The damned thing just strolled right through the place and hopped on the couch with his dirty ass paws and had the nerve to give Lily a look like 'where's my fucking breakfast?'. He was kind of cute though, in a dirty stray sort of way. He could draw blood like a mother fucker though when he was in a mood to. 

"What about ACDC?" She asked. They both liked their music, so why not? "I don't know, it's kind of a mouthful." Simon told her and she tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"Well, ACDC is four syllables. Both of our names are two. That's a lot of extra syllables for a cat." He said and she couldn't help it, she laughed. "You know you're making this very difficult for me." She told him before turning her attention back to the kitten in her arms. The apocalypse kept getting weirder and weirder. Every time she adjusted to her new normal, something else happened. Here she was with a boyfriend and a pet kitten. All in the matter of two days. Though again, she was totally okay with it. Simon was more than fun to be around. That and he always seemed to understand what she needed, sometimes before she even did. She was beginning to realize just how much he'd been going out of his way for her all along. He always left her breakfast, he always propped the window open in his room for her to have access to fresh air and he always made sure she ate by having dinner waiting for her. It stirred something inside her to think he did all those things just for her. No one else ever took care of her like he did. But he did and he never asked for anything in return aside from her company.

The kitten looked up at her, his big green eyes accentuated by the large M design on it's forehead. "What about Motley?" She asked him and Simon ran his fingers along the length of his mustache while he gave it some thought. "Like Motley Crue?" He asked with a grin and she smirked. "Duh." 

"Yeah, that'll work. Come on. I saw a pet section in the store we're clearing out." He told her before throwing an arm around her and she fixed him with a smile as they made their way inside the general goods store. "Pick whatever you want." Simon told her and she did. Lily grabbed everything she could think of for the kitten to keep him comfortable. Food, toys, a scratching post, a bed, litter and a whole lot of treats. At Simon's insistence she also got a flea collar and nail trimmers. He joked there would be hell to pay if anything happened to his couch. Lily couldn't blame him for that one, he really did have a nice couch.

She was sitting on said couch, dressed down to her panties and flannel shirt when Simon walked into his room carrying two bowls of food for them. Lily smiled before hopping up to meet him halfway. He handed one of the bowls to her before leaning down to capture her lips with his own. They returned to the couch, the tv was on and disc two of Bonanza season four was in the DVD player ready to go. Motley hadn't wasted any time making himself at home on Simon's couch. He was sprawled out, asleep on the cushion beside Lily while they ate their pasta dinner. After they finished eating, Simon made Lily a martini which she happily sipped at as they watched tv. He had his own drink, an amber colored liquid inside a short rocks glass that he nursed as the night went on.

No sooner had Lily's empty glass touched the coffee table that Simon set his own glass down. Lily's brow creased when Simon pushed the coffee table away from them. He met her eyes with a devilish smirk before hooking his index finger over the V in her shit's neck and pulled her towards him so he could kiss her. She moaned against his mouth while her hands grabbed for the hem of his black t shirt. She pulled it up, exposing his muscled chest and abdomen to the cool air and he broke their kiss so she could remove it completely. It hit the floor in a muted thud and his hands went to work on the buttons of her flannel while hers roamed his newly bared skin. He was so warm and all muscle beneath her palms. His mouth sucked greedily at the fair skin of her neck and she moaned at the feeling. There would be marks on her skin for days she was sure.

When her shirt was unbuttoned, he pushed the fabric off her shoulders and she took the opportunity to remove her bra herself. Both pieces of fabric joined his on the floor and she made to straddle him when he stopped her. "Not yet, mi amante." He said before dropping to his knees in front of her. A moan escaped her when she realized what he was about to do. Her hands found their way to her chest and she groped at the swell of her breasts. She moaned again when he pushed her knees slightly apart. His eyes went to her panties and he fixed her with a devilish smirk. "You're soaked, baby." 

"I've been soaked since you touched me, Simon." She told him, rubbing at her own nipples until they hardened. He hooked a finger over the rim of her panties and she lifted her hips ever so slightly so he could pull them down her legs. When she was fully naked in front of him, he pushed her legs far apart and she reached for the wetness between her legs when he swatted her hand away. "I've got it covered, baby. Relax." He said before his lips came down on her thigh. His thick arms hooked under her thighs and he pulled her towards him, so she was right at the edge of the couch. Her breathing grew heavy at the sight of him so close to where she wanted him the most. Where she needed him. Fuck, she needed him. 

His mouth was busy trailing kisses up her thigh and she released a groan of frustration when he skipped over the apex of her thighs in favor of kissing down the length of her other thigh. "Simon." She whined, shifting her hips and she watched as his darkened eyes flashed to hers. "Fuck, I love that sound." He said before dipping his head and she gasped when his tongue ran up the length of her slit. She moaned deeply when his tongue lingered on her clit, rubbing in firm circles and her head tilted back, her hips rolling of their own accord against his face. 

He pulled away, but just for a second and she felt his thick tongue enter her and she cried out, pushing her hips against his face while he fucked her with his tongue. He was so warm and wet inside her and she felt the beginnings of an orgasm already building in her nerves. It was too easy for him, her body responded to him immediately, almost like her body was made for him. Everything he did, all of his touches and sucks and licks were so perfectly placed that she could do nothing but moan and writhe against him. 

Soon he swapped his tongue out for two thick fingers and she cried out again when he curled them inside her, stimulating her nerves perfectly. His tongue returned to her clit and both of her hands found their way to his head and she held him there. "I'm gonna come." She whined and he doubled his efforts, rubbing her faster with his fingers, sucking harder on her clit and she came undone. She cried out, her toes curling tightly as the pleasure shot up her spine, igniting every nerve in it's wake and he kept his pace working her through her intense orgasm. She took deep breaths as she came down from her high and watched Simon stand from his place between her legs. 

He quickly undid his belt and trousers before he let them drop to the floor. His cock was hard as ever and Lily moaned at the sight. Wasting no time, he sat down beside her and she started getting to her knees when he stopped her and pulled her to straddle him. "As much as I love your mouth wrapped around my dick, Lily, it'll have to wait. I need to be inside you." The desire in his voice had her moaning and her lips came down against his. Her previous orgasm and earlier arousal meant she was absolutely soaked for him and she slid herself against his cock, coating him in her wetness. One of his hands held her against him, his other groped at her chest while she moved freely against him. Her lips parted, welcoming his tongue when it begged for entrance and she could taste herself on his tongue, rewarding him with another moan. 

She knew she was in for another late night when her hand wrapped around his thick cock and she sank down on him, both of them groaning in unison at their shared pleasure.


	20. All You Wanted

As the heavy fog of unconsciousness began to lift, it was harshly replaced by a sharp pain that immediately had Lily's attention. It was difficult, being half out of it as she was while also aware of the excruciating pain that stemmed from her left shoulder. Lily couldn't remember a time in her life when she'd been in pain that even came close to this and her eyes cracked open to search for it's source.

An off white ceiling greeted her now open eyes. She blinked a few times while her eyes focused and she realized that the room she was in was a familiar one. Her eyes studied her surroundings, the same fake marble top counter as the break room, the drawers, the cupboards and the cot she was laying on. Her mind became aware of a scratchy material pressed against her bare skin and her right hand rose to feel the fabric of the cheap hospital gown that covered the majority of her body. 

It was all eerily similar. Her mind couldn't help but take her back to that very first day at the sanctuary when she'd woken up chained to the very same cot. A deep crease appeared in her brow when she was suddenly aware of the thick piece of metal that was wrapped around her left wrist. She lifted her head, which took much more effort than she was expecting it to and sure enough, she was handcuffed to the cot. But that didn't make any sense. They had no reason to do that. Lily was a savior, she'd been working for the sanctuary and Negan for months now. She didn't like this one bit. Her pulse raced at the feeling of being trapped and she did her best to take deep, slow breaths to steady herself.

It was all made worse when her eyes zeroed in on the IV sticking out of her left hand. There was no stopping the sudden flip her stomach did in response to the sight. What the hell was going on? Was she getting a redo? She read a book like that once, this poor guy had to live the same day over and over again until he finally got it right. Lily really hoped that wasn't the case because that sounded like absolute shit to her. Besides, why the hell would she even want a redo? Things had been going so well with Simon. The past few weeks Lily spent as his girlfriend had brought them closer than ever. In fact, they'd been practically living together since she'd said yes to him.

Since the room was void of anyone else to answer her questions, her right hand reached into her blonde hair in search of a bobby pin. She found one and retrieved it, bringing it to her mouth where she pressed the flat part between her molars and bent the thin metal creating a slight L shape. Inserting the pin into the lock had been a lot more difficult than she'd been expecting. Moving her left hand, even a little bit caused a great deal of pain to shoot through her shoulder and she wondered just what kind of wound she was sporting underneath the ugly hospital gown. A few long minutes passed while she worked on the lock of the heavy metal cuff but eventually she heard the click that meant her mission was accomplished and she pulled her now free hand away, running the fingers of her right hand over the tender flesh of her left wrist. 

Her eyes followed the line of the IV up to the nearly empty bag of fluids that was attached to a hook on a table on wheels beside her cot. She breathed deeply before trying to sit up, baring her teeth at the pain in her shoulder as she did so. Oh, it hurt so bad. Her head swam immediately from being upright and her good hand shot up to her forehead like it could somehow keep the vertigo she felt at bay just from holding it. She took deep breaths to steady herself and slowly but surely, the vertigo started to fade. Tentatively, her sock covered feet touched the ground and she took her time, putting a bit more weight on her feet til she was standing.

Thankful to be upright, after who knows how long of laying flat on the cot, she took a few steps. It felt okay so she took a few more, before another sudden wave of dizziness came over her and not having anything around to brace herself on, she sank to her knees. She caught herself on her right hand while cradling her left against her chest. As fate would have it, she heard the door open then and a beat of silence passed before Simon's voice cut harshly through the quietness of the room. "Lily! What the fuck are you doing?!" A small part of her mind registered that it had been a long time since he'd used that kind of tone with her. She tensed reflexively when his footsteps quickly approached. Her head shot up in time to shrink away from him before he could touch her.

"Lily... it's alright." His tone was much more calm the second time around but she hesitated to trust it. "Why did you chain me up?" She asked immediately, her voice raspy from disuse. She watched his face and eyes soften. He looked tired, she realized. Dark, deep circles rest just below his eyes and his hair was as disheveled as she'd ever seen it. The black t shirt he wore was wrinkled all over like he'd slept in it and she wondered just how long she'd been unconscious for. "I'm sorry, Lily. It wasn't my idea." He reached out again and she shook her head, her short blonde waves, stringy from layers of sweat hardly budged from the movement. 

He knelt in front of her, bringing himself down to her level. "No one's going to hurt you, Lily. You trust me, don't you?" That was asking a whole lot considering how she woke up. But, it was Simon. He hadn't done anything so far to deliberately harm her. "I promise I'll explain if you let me get you off this floor." 

"Are you gonna tie me up again?" She hated the involuntary tears that stung her eyes. Hated even more the way her raspy voice wavered when she spoke. 

"Never baby. Never again. I promise, alright?" He held his hand out once more and tentatively, she placed hers into it. With careful movements and bracing her by the waist as he did so, he pulled her to her feet and straight into his arms. She rest her head against the crook of his neck and could feel the hammering of his heart under her palm. "I'm so sorry you woke up like this, but fuck I'm so glad you're awake now." He held her, unmoving for a long moment, til the sound of the door opening caught her attention and she lifted her head to see the good doctor Carson walking in. He seemed equally disheveled and once again Lily was left wondering just what the hell was going on.

"You're awake." He seemed shocked to learn this which only confused Lily further and she turned her attention back to Simon who was looking down at her, his eyes full of concern. "Let's sit you down, sweetheart." He told her and reluctantly, she let him lead her back to the cot. Though, once he'd helped her sit down she scooted as far away from the metal bar as she could. He sat beside her, careful of her IV cord and gave her a small smile when his warm hand wrapped over hers that were laced in her lap. 

"What's going on?" She asked him while her eyes followed the doctor who was coming over to examine her. He used his stethoscope to check her breathing and she had to follow a tiny flash light back and forth, which did nothing but give her a headache. Then he asked her what the last thing she could remember was. Which, was a harder question to answer than she anticipated. She remembered waking up and starting her day like she usually did. Simon had left her breakfast for her. She ate, showered, got in the truck with Dwight and they listened to music on the way to a fancy subdivision. But she couldn't remember getting out of the truck or anything else after the music.

"You were shot." Simon explained. That explained the god awful pain that lingered in her left shoulder. "The bullet went through but it left a lot of damage. You wont be able to work for a while." Carson told her and her face fell but she nodded. That sucked. The last thing she wanted was to sit around all day doing nothing. "You lost a lot of blood." Simon told her. "That's why you were handcuffed, Carson wasn't sure if..."

Her eyes went to Simon's and she could see his sadness there. It wasn't hard to guess what he didn't say. What he couldn't seem to say. She almost died. He squeezed her hands in his and she gave him a small smile. "Luckily, you and Simon are the same blood type." Carson added and Lily's brows shot up.

"You gave me your blood?" She was surprised. It was incredibly romantic, in a really gross sort of way. He saved her life. Though his eyes were still sad, she could see the faintest bit of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He held out his arm, the crease of his elbow sporting a bruise just above his thick veins. "Well, you're always saying you can't get enough of me inside you-"

She held up a hand to halt him from going any further. "Okay. Stop before I throw up." She told him and his smile widened, but only a little. "That is the grossest thing you've ever said to me." She scolded and he exhaled a laugh before leaning over and pressing his lips firmly against her forehead. "How long was I out?" She asked him while she watched Carson cross the room to where the glass medicine cabinet stood. "Over two days." He said against her forehead before he pulled away. The hand that wasn't sporting the IV found it's way to his face and she cupped his cheek. "You look tired." She said and he took her hand in his, placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. "I'm fine." 

Carson returned and held out a bottle of pills for Simon to take. "Take these for pain." He said to Lily and she frowned. She hated the idea of being dependent on any sort of medication but if the muted pain in her shoulder was anything to go by, she was going to need them when the previous medication wore off. The doctor then focused his attention on the IV in her hand and Lily's stomach did a flip at the sight. She squeezed her eyes tightly and did her best to focus on the warmth that came from Simon's hand that was rubbing her back while the doctor removed the IV from her skin. It was over soon enough though and a band aid was placed on her skin to keep it from bleeding.

Next on the to-do list was a shower. Simon walked her upstairs and after making sure the bathroom was empty, he helped her wash up. It made her feel weak to not even be able to shower by herself but Simon didn't seem to mind helping. Her left arm was pretty much rendered useless she discovered when she didn't have the strength to hold a shampoo bottle. Lily always had to take care of herself, suddenly becoming dependent on another was going to be a difficult transition. She was just lucky Simon was so willing to help her, she wasn't sure she could trust anyone else in such a vulnerable state.

Once her hair and body were clean, the water was turned off. After poking his head into the hallway to make sure it was empty, Simon wrapped a thick towel around her and led her down the hallway to his room. She took a deep breath of relief once they were finally inside. It felt like coming home. The window was cracked and Motley was curled up in the center of the bed. The few weeks he spent at the sanctuary had been very kind to him, he was finally at an acceptable weight.

Simon led her to the edge of his bed and went about the task of getting her a clean flannel and a pair of panties and socks to wear. "Thank you, Simon." She said when he came to sit beside her. She met his eyes and he was fixing her with a small smile. "I know this is hard for you, baby. But you're going to be better in no time, alright?" She nodded. He pushed her still damp hair behind her and helped her dress before running her brush through her hair, carefully detangling it. She would have insisted on doing it herself but something about the sadness that lingered in his eyes kept her quiet.

She was still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she almost died. It didn't seem real, but the evidence in her shoulder proved it, painfully so. "When can I take the medicine?" She asked and he set her brush down on the bedside table. Though she hated the idea of it, she didn't have a choice. The pain was amping up by the second. "Are you in pain?" He asked and she nodded, wincing at the tightness she felt in her muscles. "Lets get some food in you first. Okay?" She nodded and he leaned forward, brushing his lips against her forehead and made to leave when her good hand shot out to stop him. 

She pulled at the fabric of his black t shirt so he would come closer and she pressed her lips against his. Both of his hands went to her face, holding her there for a long moment before he pulled away. With one more press of his lips against her forehead, he left the room in search of dinner. She lay down on his soft bed and closed her eyes. She felt the ever so slight dip in the mattress from Motley sauntering over and he rubbed against her hand a few times. She repaid the favor by scratching the top of his head before she drifted off.

She was stirred awake, sometime later by Simon. He helped her up before leading her across the room to the couch where their dinner was waiting. Bonanza was playing on the tv though the volume was turned down low. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts while they ate. Motley migrated to the couch with them and sprawled out on the cushion next to Lily. He'd missed her. A memory came back to Lily while she ate her soup. She couldn't remember anything after the truck that led to her being shot. But she could remember being in the truck with Simon and Dwight after she was shot. Simon was holding her, covered in her blood and she begged them to kill her before she could turn into one of the dead freaks. Judging by Simon's attitude, she decided to not bring it up. Instead, she finished her soup. Which, it might have had something to do with her not eating for almost three days but it taste amazing. 

When her soup was finished she took the medication and relaxed against Simon while it kicked in. One of his hands were around her, careful of her wounds and he held her against him. It didn't take long for the muscle relaxer to kick in and a heavy fog descended onto Lily's mind. "I don't like these pills." She said out loud. "Why not?" Simon asked while he ran a warm hand through her still damp hair. "They remind me of my mom. She lived off these things before she killed herself. She wouldn't do anything when she was on them. Just laid around all day. Til one day she decided to go for a drive after downing half a bottle. She wrapped her car around a tree."

"Isn't that what you were trying to do when we found you?" He asked her and she nodded against his chest. "That was different though." She told him.

"How is it different?" He asked her and she sighed. "I thought I was the last person left. I didn't want to be alone anymore." His hold on her tightened a bit and his free hand moved from her hair to her face and though her senses had been dulled by the medication, she still felt the warmth his hand provided move across her cheek and she closed her eyes in content. "You're never gonna be alone again baby." He said and she smiled. "I'm glad you found me." 

He exhaled a laugh against her hair. "I'm glad I found you too. Though I'll be honest, if someone told me the skinny little woman that broke my nose could mean this much to me, I never would have believed it." She laughed into his chest, though it was a muted, tired sound. "Made an impression though." She said quietly.

"That you did, baby. That you did." The room fell quiet then and with the medication reaching it's full effect, Lily drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	21. Burning Desire

Lily woke to the sound of Simon's alarm. Which was odd, since she never had before. He muted the sound and began to stir. He had to work, she knew that. But she was far from happy about it. She scooted closer to him in an attempt to keep him there. She'd been off work for three days now. Three very long days. The factory was pretty much void of anyone cool to talk to during the day so she'd mostly been confined to Simon's room where she spent the majority of her time watching old movies with Motley curled up beside her. Sensing she was making a futile attempt to keep him there, he threw an arm around her and his lips came down on her temple. 

"You know I can't stay, Lily." He scolded, his voice raspy from sleeping. She groaned her protest and held him tighter. "But it's boring without you here." She pleaded, knowing it was pointless. "I have to work, Lily. You know that." He said firmly before his arms left her and he sat up. One of his hands found it's way to his receding hair and he pushed it back before rubbing the sleep away from his face. He started crawling over her to leave the bed when she spoke again. 

"I'm horny." She said and he stopped in his tracks where he hovered above her. That got him. The pills she'd been taking for pain had absolutely killed her usually very healthy sex drive. The only time it seemed to rear it's head was when she woke and he was already gone off to work. It had been a long few days for both of them. "Yeah?" He asked and though the room was mostly dark, she could still see the wide smile on his face at the prospect of getting laid. Her good hand found it's way to his broad chest, the coarse hairs scattered there were rough beneath her palm. "Very, very horny, Simon." She cooed while her hand slid down the length of his toned abdomen and he released a deep groan when it came to a stop at the rim of his trousers. Her index finger hooked over the rim and she slid it back and forth, feeling his warm skin. The muscles underneath clenched under her touch and she smirked at her victory. "I need you, Simon." She said innocently. "You can't leave me like this." 

"Fuck, baby. You've already won." He scolded, reaching down to still her hand and a wide smile lit her face. He stretched over her long enough to turn on the light and that's when she made the mistake of trying to grab for him with both hands. A hiss escaped her when the pain shot through her left shoulder. "Easy. We're going to have to take it slow." He said and she groaned in frustration. "I hate this." She griped and he shushed her, lowering himself til he was hovering above her. One of his arms braced him against the mattress, his other worked on her buttons. His lips came down on hers and she moaned, parting her lips when his tongue begged for entrance. His kiss was hungry and desperate and it felt so fucking good that she moaned again. 

With her buttons undone, he pulled her shirt open, baring her chest to him. "Fuck, I missed these." He said before his lips came down on the swell of her chest. A short laugh escaped her. "But they're small." She said, full of amusement. "Mmm, but they're mine." He said before his mouth closed around her nipple. She cried out when he drug his teeth across it, causing it to harden painfully and she arched her chest ever so slightly in response. Her breathing picked up and he migrated to the other breast, giving it the same treatment. Her good hand reached down between them and she pressed her hand against the bulge in his trousers, earning another deep groan from him. He pulled away and left the bed long enough to rid himself of his trousers. He was so hard and ready for her that she moaned, squeezing her thighs together tightly. She wiggled her hips in anticipation and a wide smile appeared on Simon's face. He wrapped one of his large hands around his thick cock and pumped himself slowly. She bit her lip and moaned again. "Need something, baby?"

"Please, Simon. I need you inside me. Please." Apparently her words were enough to appease him because he returned to the bed. He helped Lily into a sitting position so he could slide the flannel fabric off her arms. When she relaxed back into the mattress, he hooked his fingers over the thin fabric of her panties and she lifted up slightly so he could pull them down her legs. When her panties softly hit the floor he spread her legs wide, baring her completely to him. One of his hands returned to his cock and he continued his pumping while he just looked at her. His stare was so intense, she could practically feel his eyes on her skin as they roamed her. She started squirming again, she was beyond ready to have him fill her. "Simon." She whined and a smirk lit his face. "I'm just appreciating the view baby." He cooed. Her body was buzzing for him, her core was soaked from his earlier attention. "Please." She breathed. 

He crawled up her body, careful to not put any weight on her and he braced himself on one arm so he was hovering just above her. "You're soaked baby." He whispered, his lips were just above hers, his every breath rolling down her face and neck. "I'm always soaked for you." She responded and he groaned, lining himself up. She felt it then, the thick head of his cock entered her and her mouth dropped open as he pushed farther inside. Deeper and deeper until he was fully seated inside her. 

He stilled there, groaning deeply as he did so and let her adjust to him before he started slowly thrusting inside her. "Fuck baby, always so tight for me." He said. Her one good hand grabbed for him, her nails digging deeply into his warm flesh from the pleasure that stemmed form their combined bodies. His lips came down against hers and she sank into his kiss. It was much slower than their usual coupling, her wound demanded it be that way. But it was perfect, he felt so good inside her. Every thrust, every touch, every kiss was perfect in every way and it wasn't long til she felt the beginnings of an orgasm start to build in her nerves. 

He broke their kiss, so he could look at the flushed, panting woman beneath him. Her hips rolled against his of their own accord and though her eyes were half lidded in pleasure, she still registered the smile he gave her. "How does it feel?" He asked and she moaned, rolling her hips once more. Her hand slipped lower behind him and she grabbed at the flesh of his ass. "Tell me, Lily. Tell me how my dick feels inside you." She exhaled breathily, trying to articulate her thoughts with him inside her after so long without him was difficult. "So good." She whined between his thrust. "You feel so good, Simon. I love it. I love it so much." He groaned again, apparently satisfied with her answer. 

"I'm getting close. Don't stop." She said and his free hand started massaging her breasts, paying extra attention to her nipples. They hardened under his ministrations and she whined, wordlessly when little shocks of pleasure shot through her from it. Her orgasm was well on it's way to reaching a crescendo when his lips came down on hers again. Her eyes fluttered closed while he kissed her hungrily. She reveled in the feeling of his mouth and hands on her. Another moan left her before his lips left hers again. 

"Eyes open baby." He said and reluctantly, she obeyed. His own brown eyes were intense as he stared back into her blue ones. His every breath was labored, same as hers. He was ready, but of course he would make sure she would come first. He picked up his pace, thrusting just a bit harder, his thick cock going just a bit deeper, his pubic bone colliding deliciously with her clit every time he moved against her and she cried out beneath him as her pleasure climbed higher. His touches were harder and her nails dug deeper but their combined gaze did not waver. 

"I'm gonna come." She warned, writhing against him as much as she could. His free hand came up to grip her jaw, his fingers digging deeply, painfully into her skin and her pleasure peaked. "I'm coming. Don't stop. Simon!" She cried out, her nerves exploding with pleasure as her orgasm shot through her. She held his gaze as the waves of bliss washed over her and he kept his pace, fucking her through her orgasm til he suddenly pulled out. His hand shot down to grab himself. He pumped his thick cock a few times before he released a deep groan and shot thick ropes of his warm come across her abdomen. His head fell against her breast and they breathed deeply as they came down from their shared bliss. 

Her good hand found it's way to his receding hair and she ran her fingers through it while he breathed warmly against her heated skin. "That was amazing." She said softly and he exhaled a laugh against her. "That it was. We should start our day like this more often." He said and she released a breathy laugh. "Definitely." She agreed. A quiet moment passed between them before Simon sighed against her chest. "I have to go." He said, though it came out muted since his lips were pressed firmly against her breasts. Lily yawned. "It's okay. I'm still tired anyway." He lifted himself up to look at her. Her breathing had returned to a normal rate but her fair skin was still flushed from his efforts. Her shortish blonde locks were strewn across the pillow and she looked up at him with a dreamy, content smile. He smirked at the sight of her before his lips came down against hers one last time.

When their lips parted he left the bed. She didn't try to convince him to stay, she knew he had to leave. He had a job to do. She knew the pills would stifle her sex drive but she couldn't wait for him to come home later. Instead, she watched him go about the room gathering clean clothes. With the exhaustion of his efforts catching up, her eyes closed of their own accord. Though, she still felt his lips come down on her forehead and felt the soft blanket thrown over her body. She heard the flick of the light being turned off and the door softly closing as he left the room. She smiled, content and sated and it wasn't long at all until she fell back asleep.

When she woke a few hours later, there was a bottle of water and a granola bar waiting on the bedside table. The first thing she did was eat, then she took her pill. When her breakfast was finished she stood up, but immediately sank back down to the mattress when a sudden wave of dizziness washed over her. Her hand cupped her forehead while she got her bearings. It was not the first time it happened. It had happened every morning since she started taking the medication. Lily hated those damned pills. 

Eventually, the dizziness subsided and she dressed herself in a blue flannel and black jeans. She didn't bother with boots since she hadn't left Simon's room in days except to use the bathroom, smoke and shower. She made her way over to the opposite side of the room. Motley was already there, sprawled out on the couch and waiting for her. He picked up on their new routine of daily movies easily. Lily was thankful Simon let her keep Motley. Having another being around when everyone else was at work was essential for Lily. He couldn't talk back to her, but he purred, meowed and kept her lap warm. She picked out a movie she hadn't seen before a seventies film about car thieves and popped it in the player before she sat on the couch. 

The medication amped up to it's full effect and Lily dozed off halfway through the movie. Motley purring in her lap as she did. A few more movies and episodes of Bonanza later and Simon returned, being greeted by Lily's wide smile at the sight of him. Though her brow quickly creased at the sight of him holding something behind his back. "Brought you something." He cooed sweetly and she got up off her place at the couch and met him halfway as he crossed the room. "What?" She asked him and he shook his head, making a clicking noise with his tongue. The index finger of his free hand tapped his lips and her good hand grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. 

When their lips parted he was smirking. "That's more like it." He said before bringing a large bottle from behind his back. It read Hendrick's Gin and it looked high quality. "Ooooh." Lily cooed excitedly. "I know you can't have it til you're off the meds, but think of it as something to look forward to." He said and she smiled widely. He always took such good care of her, it pulled at her heart. "Thank you." She told him, pulling him down for another kiss. He groaned, making his need known and she pulled back, giving him a sympathetic look. She wished the pills didn't kill her sex drive. He sighed. "I know. There's always tomorrow morning." He said and she smiled. "It's a date."

Simon ended up having to leave again to deal with an issue that popped up between two saviors but it wasn't long til he returned, bringing dinner as he did. She'd just taken another pill and was excited to eat before it amped up to it's full effect. Lily restarted that seventies car thieving movie she fell asleep to earlier and they watched in a comfortable silence while they ate their spaghetti dinner. When their food was finished, Simon fixed himself a drink. The amber liquid that occupied his rocks glass was a familiar sight most nights. Lily curled up next to him while the movie kept playing. 

Her time spent with Simon was amazing but the days were long without him. She sighed deeply at the thought of doing it all over again the next day. "What's wrong?" Simon asked and Lily sighed again. "I'm just ready to go back to work." She said while inspecting the state of her nails. 

A long moment of silence passed and Lily thought he wasn't going to respond at all. But he eventually did, his words cutting through the quiet of the room and hitting Lily in the worst way. "Lily... you wont be going back to work." 

A deep crease appeared in her brow and she paused her nail picking to look up at him. His face was firm as he stared at the drink in his hand. "What?" 

"You're not going on runs anymore." He said, his tone even and absolute. His wording implied that it was already decided and there would be no room for discussion. "What?" She repeated, not at all grasping what he was saying. He tensed beside her and a sickly feeling built up in her stomach. "But I have to work." 

"You will. Just not on the outside. When you're healed up, your permanent job will be on the roof. You'll be on watch." 

"But why? Why can't I go with you guys?" Her voice was borderline pleading but she chalked it up to the meds messing with her. "Don't fight me on this, Lily. It's already been decided." 

"Why? Tell me why!" She nearly shouted. 

"Because you almost died, Lily. That's fucking why. And I can't keep the rest of the saviors safe if I'm constantly focused on you!" He snapped at her and involuntary tears stung her eyes. "That's so selfish!" She shouted, leaning away from him. "You're selfish!" His jaw clenched tightly and he glared harshly at her. "Well, it's not all about you, precious. Mark is dead. Or have you forgotten? That might not have happened if I hadn't been so wrapped up in what you were doing."

"You don't know that!" She shook her head. They'd been ambushed at the subdivision, there was nothing anyone could have done to stop it. "It's already decided, Lily."

"Negan would never allow-"

He shot her a look that stifled what she was about to say. "You think I decided this by myself? He's not exactly happy about losing two of his people, Lily. But he's willing to part with you if it means I'm at the top of my game."

"How can you do this to me? After everything." The tears spilled over then. A pain sprouted in her chest that had absolutely nothing to do with the gunshot wound. He looked away from her then and downed the rest of his drink. "Like I said, Lily. It's already done." Her bottom lip trembled at his heartlessness. How could he do this to her? How could he hurt her like this? She shook her head and forced herself to her feet despite the protest of her heavily relaxed muscles. 

"What are you doing?" He asked when she went to the dresser and pulled a drawer open. She grabbed the first few shirts she touched before closing it again. The drawer beneath had her pants in it and she retrieved two pairs before closing that one too. "I'm leaving." She said and he exhaled a laugh.

"Come on Lily. Don't be dramatic." He said and she shook her head. "No, I'm done. You can't treat me like this and get away with it. This.. this is done." She shoved her feet into her boots. 

"Lily." He nearly growled, a sharp venom in his voice that she hadn't heard before. 

"I'm taking Motley." She said, coming back over to the couch and scooping her kitten up with her still injured arm. Luckily the medication was in full effect because otherwise, such a sharp movement would have caused her a great deal of pain. 

"Take whatever you want, Lily." He threw his hands up in frustration. "Whatever makes you fucking happy!" 

"What makes me happy is when you're not being an asshole!" She shouted, heading towards the door. He laughed, he actually fucking laughed. Here she was beside herself with hurt and he fucking laughed. Her hand reached for the hairbrush on the bedside table and whipped it across the room with her good hand. He caught it, of course and glared harshly at her. "Don't start throwing shit, Lily. You're a grown fucking woman. Act like it." He punctuated his words with a sharp jab of his index finger in her direction and more tears welled in her eyes. 

With another shake of her head, she closed the distance between herself and the door with heavy footsteps. She roughly grabbed the door handle and pulled it open before fixing him with a glare of her own. "You're an asshole." She said before leaving, slamming the door as she went.


	22. Heart Of Glass

Simon groaned when his alarm pulled him from sleep. He had not slept well. He had half a mind to follow Lily when she left the night before but he knew her, it wouldn't have done any good. There would be no reaching her til she calmed down, however long that took. He knew she wouldn't take the news well, but he never expected she would leave him over it. Anyone else would have jumped at the opportunity for less work. Of course Lily's reaction would be the complete opposite. She saw it as being punished. But he just couldn't have her out there. Not after she nearly died. He sighed and ran a hand through his receding hair. 

He should have handled it better. Fuck, she was crying. He hated it when she cried. But she had, because of him and what did he do? He laughed. He shouldn't have done that. But she was being so ridiculous. Hell, she threw a fucking hairbrush at his head. Acting like he was a monster for just trying to keep her safe. She called him selfish. Selfish? Hardly. He was anything but. He'd never gone out of his way for a woman the way he constantly did for her. He gave her everything he could and then some. 

Hindsight is everything and right now, Simon felt like the biggest asshole. Just like she said. The last time she was this pissed at him it was a week before she even looked at him. He really hoped she came around sooner this time. Once she calmed down, he'd talk to her. She just needed to understand, being at the sanctuary kept her safe. He wouldn't have to worry about her. She needed to look at it from his side.

With another sigh he left his bed and gathered fresh clothes before heading to the showers. The water was hot and penetrated the scratch marks Lily had left on his back the previous morning. He loved it when she clawed him up. It had already been a day but he already missed the feeling of her body against his. It didn't help that he'd been forced to sleep alone for the first time in well over a month. That was not something he wanted to get used to again. He was left, once again hoping that she came around soon.

When his shower was finished, he turned his attention to the coffee pot in the break room. He briefly entertained the thought of bringing Lily her breakfast but ultimately decided against it. She was a heavy sleeper but if she happened to be awake, there would surely be hell to pay if he walked in her room uninvited. Which was unfortunate, because he knew that meant that she more than likely wouldn't eat. Instead, he put Motley's things outside her door so she wouldn't have to ask. He'd give her space, even though that was the last thing he wanted to do. After that was done, he found Negan, as he usually did in the mornings and they went over the plan for the day. When all that was said and done, he stepped out the factory's back door and lit up a smoke while the other saviors started up their vehicles.

He approached the old Ford, where Dwight was already sitting in the driver's seat. One of those hair bands he and Lily liked so much was pouring from the speakers as he opened the passenger door. He cranked the window handle, lowering the glass a bit so he could finish his smoke before he slid into the seat. "You look like shit." Dwight said immediately and he exhaled a laugh. "Is it that obvious?" He asked. 

"What happened?" Dwight asked, ignoring his question and Simon shook his head. "I told her, last night."

"Oh, shit." Dwight said. "I'm guessing she didn't take it well."

"She threw a hairbrush at my head." He told the blonde who laughed. "I did not take her for a thrower." He said and Simon flicked his cigarette against the glass of the open widow, effectively expelling the ashes from the end. "She took the cat." 

"Shit, she really didn't take it well." He said while Simon took another drag of his cigarette. "She'll get over it, eventually." He added and Simon exhaled a laugh. "Very reassuring Dwight." He drawled sarcastically before Dwight threw the truck in reverse and pulled out, joining the line of trucks ready to leave the sanctuary.

When Lily woke up she was just as miserable as she was the night before. Just as miserable as she'd been since her fight with Simon two days ago. At least she had Motley to keep her company. Dwight had tried to visit in the afternoon both days but she didn't even answer the door when he knocked and called her name. She hadn't eaten or showered. In fact, the only time she even stepped out of her room was to go to the bathroom and only when she was sure she wouldn't run into anyone else. Simon left Motley's things and her pain pills outside her door, which she was grateful for. He must have known she wouldn't want to see him. 

It hurt too much to even think about Simon. But with her being back in her own room with absolutely no form of entertainment besides her cuddly kitten, that was all her mind seemed to want to do. Though the pain pills did dull her thoughts considerably. Giving her mind a brief respite here and there. But mostly, she was miserable. She couldn't believe he'd gone behind her back like he did. He betrayed her, to make his own life easier. It hurt, a lot more than she expected it would. And no amount of time passed was making it easier.

A quick look at her watch told her it was six fifty when she decided to go for a smoke. She threw the blanket off and sat up in her bed, rubbing the sleep away from her face. She dreaded this part. The dizziness had not subsided, if anything it had gotten worse and she took a deep breath before she got to her feet. Her head swam but she managed to stay upright. A few tentative steps later and she was at her dresser. The first thing she did was wash her pain pill down with a half empty bottle of Dasani water. Then she shoved her feet through her boots and grabbed her cigarette pack of menthols and Zippo before she made her way to the door. Motley was already there, voicing his protest with his tiny meows. She smiled and bent down to scratch his head before she left, making her way outside to smoke. 

She sat on the cold ground, staring dejectedly at the dead freaks that writhed along the length of the chain link fence while she heard the familiar sound of truck engines roaring to life. Her face was set in a deep frown at the sound. It wasn't fair. She was a good worker. It wasn't right for her to be punished this way. She held her Zippo lighter in her left hand and she turned it over, her thumb rubbing across the engraving. Simon was so selfish. He made her feel like a burden and that she wasn't wanted. Tears welled in her eyes once again and she blinked rapidly to dispel them. She cleared her throat to rid it of the tight knot that formed there and brought her cigarette to her lips.

"Hey, you." A familiar voice called and Lily lifted her head to the sound of boots crunching through the snow. A pair of brown eyes stared back at her as he approached her spot on the ground. "Shouldn't you be on a truck right now?" She asked him when he reached her and he smirked. "Nah, I gotta troubleshoot a transmission. You wanna help?" He jerked a thumb in the direction of the massive tent that housed his makeshift car garage and Lily gave him a nod. "I can't operate heavy machinery." She told him, she wasn't sure how much help she could be but it beat sitting around all day doing nothing. "That's okay. You can just play some music or whatever." He offered and she smiled. At least someone was still being nice to her. 

He held out a hand and she tucked her cigarette between her lips so he could help her up. They crossed the courtyard and Lily kept her eyes forward, refusing to make eye contact with the tall silhouette that hovered beside the old Ford. Though she didn't look, she could feel his eyes following her until she entered the garage with Joey. He immediately went to work, he popped the hood of the truck and Lily made her way over to where Joey kept his disc collection. She picked out her favorite one, Def Leppard's Hysteria album and put it in the truck's disc player and cranked the volume. 

The day passed way too fast. But it was the most fun Lily had since she'd been shot. Joey was talking and joking with her like he used to before things got complicated. It was nice. Nice to be wanted and to not feel like a burden. When dinner time rolled around, Joey returned to the factory for his dinner. Lily went back upstairs for another pain pill and to spend some time with Motley. When she opened her bedroom door to leave again she was greeted by Simon, leaning an arm against the door frame. Lily frowned immediately and stepped around him, tearing her eyes away from him as she did. She made it two steps before his hand closed around her wrist to stop her.

She yanked her hand away, like his touch had burned her. "Leave me alone." She said without meeting his eyes. He'd done enough already, why couldn't he just leave her alone? "Are you hanging out with him to piss me off?" He asked and she nearly rolled her eyes.

"No. I'm hanging out with him because he's being nice to me." He scoffed at that. "Yeah, nice cause he wants to fuck you."

"So? Maybe I will fuck him. It's not like I'm seeing anyone." 

"Don't go down that road, Lily. You wont like where it leads." He warned in a low voice. She clenched her jaw tight and forced her feet to move. She didn't want to argue with him anymore. He didn't care about her feelings so she didn't care what he had to say. She left him where he stood next to her door and quickly made her way back downstairs. The cold winter air greeted her when she stepped out the factory's back door, offering relief to her heated skin. She crossed the cold ground to the massive tent where she knew Joey would be back to work under the hood of the truck.

She was so angry at Simon. How could he even think he had any say on what she did with her body. If she wanted to fuck Joey, she would fuck Joey and fuck what Simon had to say about it. She marched over to where Joey was and used her good hand to pull him out from under the hood of the truck. She wasted to time pulling him in for a kiss. He was caught off guard and he pulled back, surprise clear on his face. Her hands worked on her buttons. "Fuck me, Joey." She said.

"Why? Cause you're pissed at Simon?" He asked. His eyes were glued to her hands, watching her as she undid each of the buttons. "Does it matter?" She asked when the last button was undone. She let the flannel fall to the cold ground, baring her from the waist up and kicked her boots off. "Fuck me." That seemed to be all the motivation he needed because he quickly closed the distance between their mouths. His hands groped at the swell of her chest while his tongue plunged into her mouth. He walked them over to the side of the truck, their lips parting just long enough for him to help her into the back seat. 

When she laid across the seat, he worked on the button and zipper of her jeans. "Fuck, you're beautiful." He said when she was completely naked. "Shut up and fuck me, Joey." She said and he smirked before pulling his own shirt off. His lips came down on hers and she kissed him back eagerly, her eyes closed so she could lose herself in the sensation. His hands groped generously at her chest and body. It was going so well up until she opened her eyes again. He broke their kiss and his warm mouth moved to her neck where he kissed and sucked and a deep crease set in her brow at the realization she was bone dry.

She stared at the ceiling of the truck as the realization hit her that she couldn't actually go through with this. If he fucked her, it would hurt and not just because she was dry. But because he wasn't Simon. He'd just gotten his belt and pants undone when she spoke up. "Joey, stop." He did and pulled back immediately. "I can't." She said, shaking her head. He released a deep sigh before one of his hands raked through his hair. "Fuck. I can't." She whined, tears stinging her eyes. How could he do this to her? She was ruined for anyone else. She could never fuck anyone else because she knew, no one would ever make her feel the way Simon did. But he hurt her and now she was miserable.

Before either of them could say anything else, Joey was roughly pulled from the truck and Lily sat up to see Simon shoving him across the makeshift garage. "Simon, don't!" She yelled but it was too late. He was seeing red. She left the truck as quickly as her injured shoulder would let her and watched, her blue eyes wide in horror as Simon's fist rained down on Joey's face multiple times. She thought he would stop but he didn't, he was going to kill him. She crossed the small space and pulled at him with her good hand. 

"Simon, stop! Please!" She begged, only for him to turn his rage on her. His blood covered hand grabbed her jaw, his fingers pressing deeply, painfully into her skin and he backed her up til she was pressed against the truck. A gasp escaped her when the cold metal hit her bare flesh. "This is your fault!" He roared in her face. "I told you not to fuck him, Lily. I fucking told you!" His brown eyes were harsh as he glared down at her. 

"I didn't. I couldn't." She said, shivering as she did. The cold air around them caused goosebumps on her skin all over. He sneered at her response before his fingers dug deeper into her skin. "Don't lie to me, Lily. Don't you fucking lie to me." The index finger of his free hand was harshly pointed at her face and she winced when his hold on her face started to hurt. Her good hand went to his wrist to try and pull his hand away. His glare turned murderous, a look she'd only seen a few times before. 

"I'm only gonna say this once Lily, so you'd better pay attention. If he touches you again, I will slit his throat." Her eyes widened at the seriousness of his words. She was trembling and it had absolutely nothing to do with the cold air. His grip on her jaw lessened ever so slightly and that's when she spoke up. "You're crazy." She said quietly and he laughed darkly. "You're the pot to my kettle baby." He said before pulling his hand away. He spared a glance to Joey who was groaning, holding both of his hands up to his bloody face where he laid on the ground. "Hope you heard that, Joey. Cause I meant every last fucking word." With that said he turned on his heel and strode out of the tent leaving behind a still trembling Lily and bloody faced Joey. 

Taking shaky breaths to steady herself, she gathered her clothes as fast as she could and redressed before turning her attention to Joey who was finally sitting upright. His fingers were gingerly pressing around his swollen cheek, inspecting the damage. "I'm so sorry." Lily said, approaching him and he shook his head, leaning away when her hand shot out to comfort him. "Just go, Lily." He said and she frowned. Simon was right about one thing, this was all her fault. She should have known better than to push him the way she did. She knew full well what he was capable of. With another apology uttered that went ignored by Joey, she left. 

Her boot covered feet carried her straight upstairs to her room. After taking her medication she kicked off her boots, not bothering to change her clothes before she climbed into her bed and pulled the blanket over her head as if she could somehow hide from everything that weighed heavily on her. A gentle purring caught her attention and a small smile came to her face when Motley started kneading her face through the blanket. At least she still had him. She pushed the blanket away long enough to scoop him up before covering them both. He continued his purring, offering what comfort he could and she waited patiently for the medication to kick in so the pain would subside and she might sleep.


	23. Love Is A Battlefield

When Lily woke up, it was late. She could tell by how bright it was in her room without even glancing at her watch. She spared a glance, checking anyway only to be surprised to learn that it was after twelve thirty. Immediately, she was awash with guilt and ashamed of her actions the night before. She'd gotten Joey hurt because she was mad at Simon. It wasn't right. She needed to apologize, again. But on the other hand, she feared Simon's reaction if he saw her speaking to him again so soon after what happened. She sighed, completely at a loss for how to move forward.

Motley was already awake, she could hear him across the room eating his kibble. The crunch of it between his teeth was a sharp sound in the otherwise quiet room and she wondered if he was the reason she woke up in the first place. She threw her blanket off and started to get up. Which was a mistake she realized when she nearly passed out. Spots danced across her vision and she sank back against the mattress while she waited for the dizzy spell to subside. She couldn't take this god awful dizziness anymore. She decided that the first order of business would have to be a trip to Carson's office. These pills were more trouble than they were worth. He had to have something else she could take. It was past time for her bandages to be changed anyway. She'd really been neglecting herself the past few days. 

Cleaning up by herself proved to be much more difficult than she originally anticipated. Basically she used the sink and a hand towel to scrub what she could with her good hand. When she was as clean as she could be, she bent her head over the sink and washed her hair that way. She was glad that no one came in the bathroom while she was in there, that would certainly humiliate her. But she doubted anyone would with it being square in the middle of the day. With her washing up now complete, she dressed in a red flannel and black jeans. Putting socks on with one hand is also a bitch, Lily discovered when it took way longer than was necessary. Eventually, she was finished and she left the bathroom and made her way downstairs. 

The first thing Carson scolded her about was her weight. "You've lost three pounds." He said and she frowned at the number she saw on the scale. She made a mental note to eat later, she had to. She didn't want to see her weight drop any lower. All of her time spent with Simon and him having dinner ready for her every night meant that her weight had finally reached a healthy number. She didn't want to lose that just because she was upset. Once his scolding was finished, Carson then set out to change her bandages, commenting that despite her lack of care, the wound was healing nicely. No doubt thanks to her severe lack of movement. Lily wondered how her not being with Simon would effect the plans he and Negan had made for her work schedule. Though, knowing him, he would see to it she still didn't step foot off the sanctuary's grounds. 

With fresh bandages in place, Lily brought up her unwavering dizziness which only seemed to perplex the doctor. "It's only in the morning?" He asked and she nodded. "Before you've taken the medication?" She nodded again. He pursed his lips while he gave it some thought. "It could be the lack of food. Another reason you need to eat regularly." 

"But it's never happened before. And I was eating up until a few days ago and I was still waking up dizzy." 

A deep crease set in his brow before he spoke again. "When was your last period?" He asked and she made to answer but paused when she realized she didn't know the answer. "Couple months I think. But sometimes when I'm stressed out I don't get them." She explained and he nodded before crossing the room and opening one of the drawers beneath the fake marble counter. "Well, to err on the safe side and rule it out, I'd like you to take this." He said before turning around. Lily's heart nearly stopped at the sight of the white stick with a pink cap he held in one of his hands. 

"I'm not pregnant." She told him immediately. She couldn't be. She took the pill the only time Simon didn't pull out. "Humor me. There's a private bathroom in the next room over." He said with a nod of his head at the door before he held out the test for her. Reluctantly, she took it and rose from where she was sitting on the cot and crossed the room to the door. Though, she'd never taken a pregnancy test before it was pretty straight forward. Pee on it and wait. So she did. She didn't have to wait long, she watched the little result window and her mouth fell open when the little pink cross appeared instantly. She dropped the test like it had burned her and her pulse raced, her breathing coming in quick gasps as she tried to wrap her mind around the fact that she was pregnant. 

The test was wrong. It had to be. She took the pill, just like the doctor told her. Her good hand covered her face while her breathing hitched towards hyperventilation. This couldn't happen. It just couldn't. The doctor must have grown concerned when she didn't return because after a few long minutes she heard a soft knocking on the door. He asked if he could come in and she buttoned her jeans before giving him the all clear. She put the lid of the toilet down and sat back down. She felt like she was going to pass out and it had absolutely nothing to do with her dizzy spells. Her eyes followed the doctor as he scooped up the test off the ground and checked the results. "I would say congratulations, but I'm guessing that's not something you want to hear." 

"I don't understand." She said immediately, nearly choking on the words as they left her. "I took the pill. Just like you said. You watched me take it." She was looking to him for answers and he gave her a sympathetic look.

"Unfortunately, half of our medication supply is expired. Beyond that, sometimes these pills just don't work." He explained. "Maybe the test is wrong." She said. "Maybe it's expired." 

He shot her another sympathetic look before he spoke again. "There's one way we can find out for sure. If it's not too early. Come on." He said and reluctantly, she followed him. They left the small bathroom and she followed him back into the makeshift exam room where he instructed her to lay down on the cot and unbutton the bottom half of her flannel and jeans. "One of the workers had a baby last year so lucky for you, I have everything we'll need if you are pregnant." She didn't respond. His words weren't exactly reassuring to her in any way.

He approached her with a weird looking handheld device. It kind of looked like a thermometer but the stick part was too big. He poured a jelly like substance on her skin before he turned on the device and moved the wand across her skin. A deep crease appeared in her brow as she watched him. He pointed out her heartbeat, it was loudly transmitted over the device. Then he pointed out another sound, much quieter. Almost too quiet to hear but when it finally clicked what she was hearing, she shoved the device away from her skin. That sound, that soft fluttering sound, so gentle but it terrified her to hear it. A panicked expression crossed her face at the realization that the test was right. 

He let her fix her clothes then and put his device away before he spoke again. He handed a bottle of vitamins to her. "You'll want to take these and you have to start eating." She didn't know what to say. What could she say? She was still trying to wrap her mind around it. Every time she adjusted to her new normal something else happened. Lily was getting really sick of things happening to her. 

"I was drinking. And the pain pills." She said. She didn't know much about pregnancy, but she knew those two things were a big no no. "Well, you'll be happy to learn that the pills I gave you for pain are as close to pregnancy safe as you can get. But I have to advise against ingesting any more alcohol. Which, you shouldn't be doing anyways if you were taking the pain pills I gave you."

She shook her head immediately. "I wasn't." She told him and he smiled. "Good. Then the only thing you need to worry about is taking those vitamins and eating enough." 

How could he say that? She had plenty to worry about. She was carrying Simon's child and they weren't even together. And how would he react when he found out? She wasn't sure she wanted to know. Carson handed her the pregnancy test she'd taken earlier. "You'll probably want this for when you tell him." He offered and she took it, shoving it into the back pocket of her jeans without another word. With the issue of her dizziness solved and no other reason for her to be there, she left Carson's office and made her way back upstairs. Her mind screaming at the the whole way. When she was back in her bedroom, she crawled under her blankets and closed her eyes. Her anxious mind was no match for the pain pills and soon she drifted off into a deep sleep.

When she woke again, her watch told her it was after six in the afternoon. Her stomach was growling it's protest at being empty and reluctantly, she left her bed and shoved her feet into her boots. The pregnancy test was still in her back pocket, it's weight a constant reminder of the fact that nothing would ever be the same again. After making sure Motley's food dish was filled, she grabbed her cigarette pack and lighter. The other saviors had returned and she passed a few in the hallway on her way outside for a smoke. 

She couldn't help but notice the fact that Simon's door was open. Though, she'd be lying if she said she didn't spare a glance inside only to find it completely empty. Which was weird, she thought. His door was always closed. Dwight was out on the factory's back steps enjoying a smoke of his own. She noticed him immediately when she was greeted by the cold winter air when she stepped outside. It was already dark out, though the ground was slightly illuminated by the fresh snow that had fallen during the day. A good two or so inches of fluffy white snow covered the landscape. 

Dwight noticed her immediately and scoot from the center of the step he was sitting on so she could join him. She did, leaning against the factory's wall as she did so that her body was angled towards him. She retrieved a cigarette and her lighter from her back pocket. Her thumb struck the flint wheel of her Zippo and it's flame roared to life. Once her cigarette was lit, she extinguished the lighter by closing it against her thigh. That first drag of her cigarette hit her lungs and she decided she would tell Dwight first. Dwight was easy to talk to, telling him would be much easier. 

"How was your day?" She asked him without looking at him. She'd tell him, she just had to build up to it. He laughed on his exhale. "It was fine. Pickup day at the hilltop. Got a bunch of vegetables from the greenhouses." She hummed in response. "How was yours?" He asked and she laughed, though it was a slightly strangled sound. He met her eyes with a deep crease in his brow and she took another drag of her cigarette. "I saw the doc. He changed my bandages. Says it's healing really well so far." She told him and he nodded. She spared a glance at his cigarette, it was nearly gone. He'd be headed back inside soon. It was now or never.

Wordlessly, she retrieved the test from her back pocket and slid it across the concrete step they were both sitting on. She watched from the corner of her eye as his eyes were drawn to the sound. They zeroed in on the test and she held her breath while he reached for it. "Oh, shit." He said, holding it up so he could see the result window and she took another drag of her cigarette. "Does Simon know?" He asked and she shook her head, keeping her eyes trained on the fluffy white ground.

"I just found out today." She said quietly. "He's gonna freak out. He's already mad at me, this is just going to make it worse." Her stomach was doing nervous flips at just the thought of telling him. He was so mad at her in the garage, she feared his reaction when he found out she was pregnant and had been for a good two months now. 

"Lily, whatever you think his reaction is going to be, I promise it will be ten times worse the longer you wait to tell him." She sighed. "I know. I'm gonna tell him." She said and he handed the test back to her. She tucked it back into the pocket of her jeans. It started snowing again then. Thick clumps of soft white snow fell from the sky to join the rest that covered the ground. 

"Tonight." He pressed and she nodded. "I will." She would. She didn't want to. Not the least bit, but she would. There wasn't much choice. It wasn't like she could hide it. She was a thin woman, she would start to show soon. Dwight sighed before he got to his feet. "Did you eat?" He asked her and she shook her head. "Lily-"

"I know. I know. The doctor already told me. I was gonna do that before I told him." She said. He seemed satisfied with her answer and now that her own cigarette was finished, she flicked the butt away from her. It landed in the snow, the heat being put off by the still burning end melted the surrounding snow, effectively extinguishing it. She got to her feet and followed Dwight back inside the factory. They went upstairs, to the saviors makeshift break room where there was a crock pot on. Her eyes scanned the room and she noticed that Simon wasn't there. She released a sigh of relief. 

Her eyes met Joey's and she frowned at the sight of his swollen face. He tore his gaze away from hers and immediately stood from his place at the table before stalking out of the room. All eyes in the room followed the exchange and Lily wondered if Joey had told them, or if they had just put two and two together. She followed Dwight over tot he crock pot, where a massive collection of mac and cheese was being kept warm. It looked like the kind Lily was familiar with. The kind with that fake powdered cheese. She liked that kind, her and James practically grew up on that and Hamburger Helper. She suddenly missed James more than ever. As far as she knew he'd been overseas when the world fell. Even if by some miracle he survived the fall, she knew she'd never see him again. At least she had Dwight, he helped fill the void. He looked out for her, ever since that first day.

He filled a bowl for her and when his own was full, they made their way to their usual table. Arat and Lamar were there, eating their own dinner. "Hey, you." Arat said immediately and Lily gave her a small smile. "Hey." She said before taking a bite of her food. "We're gonna have some drinks and play a little poker. You want in?" Lamar asked and Lily tensed reflexively. "I can't. Uh, the pain pills." She clarified when he shot her a confused look. "Oh, right. Hey, I got plenty of alternate if those pills aren't helping enough." She shoved a spoonful of mac n cheese into her mouth and nodded while she chewed slowly. She couldn't outright refuse that. They would definitely begin to suspect something was up if she did. Lily never turned down a joint. 

She stayed with them for a bit after her food was finished. It was nice to catch up with them after Motley had been her only real company for the past few days. She learned that Arat and Lamar had moved in together, which was great for them. Lily was happy for them, but also a little Jealous if she were being honest with herself. Everything had been going so well with Simon until she'd gotten shot. She was so happy. No one ever made her feel the way he did. And then he went and took her job away from her. Then she made it worse by foolishly trying to fuck Joey. She regretted that the most. She was still angry with him for betraying her. But hadn't she done the same thing by trying to fuck someone else?

To make matters worse, now she was pregnant with his child. A swift kick to her shin had her attention and she met Dwight's eyes. He was giving her a look like 'time's up'. She frowned. He was right though, her food had been finished minutes ago. She grit her teeth and rose from her place at the table. After quickly shooting her friends a goodbye she left their little break room. Simon wasn't in his room earlier but that was still the first place she would look for him. The door was closed when she approached, probably a pretty good sign that he had returned. She hesitated, her hand on the door handle while she mustered the courage for what she was about to do.

She just needed to do it. Just do it and get it over with. Walk in, show him the test and take his reaction in whatever form it came. Realizing that she was only making it worse for herself by dragging it out, she took a deep breath and steeled herself. With a twist of the door's handle, she swung the door open, her eyes searching his room for him as she did. "Simon, we need to-"

Her mouth fell open, her heart nearly stopping at what she saw. Both of her hands shot up to cover her face and she ran back to her room as fast as she could. She didn't even make it to her bed, she sank to the floor beside her door as harsh sobs shook her body.


	24. I Fell In Love With The Devil

To say Simon was pissed would be a massive understatement. It was all made worse by the fact he'd had to stare at the back of Skinny Joey's fucking head all day while they worked. He hated that man. He put his filthy fucking dick inside his woman. And she let him do it. She actually fucking let him. Sought him out and asked him to. Then she had the audacity to stand there and lie to his face about it. He wanted to throttle her. How could she do this to him? He gave her everything and this is the thanks he gets? He smoked his way through a full pack of cigarettes before they even made it back to the factory. 

The post mission meeting with Negan had taken far longer than Simon would have liked. He wanted nothing more than to spend the evening with his bottle of brandy and cigar collection. But Regina's group had run into trouble at the Kingdom. She killed one of their people to send a message and Negan was pissed by the way she handled it. People were a resource, the less people you have, the less resources. Eventually, his lecture ended and Dwight all but ran outside for a smoke. The others filed out but Regina stayed behind, making a passing comment to him. Something she hadn't said in a long time. A proposition.

He was instantly inclined to say no. But why shouldn't he fuck Regina? Lily went off and fucked another man. Didn't she deserve the same treatment she'd given him? Simon thought so. Instead of refusing, he accepted her invitation. Told her to meet him in his room. And she did. Pretty soon after in fact. There was no romance involved. No foreplay. No teasing. They tore each others clothes off and he fucked her, hard. But Regina liked it that way. It was not the first time they'd been together. They casually slept together more than a few times in the past. He briefly entertained the thought of her screaming loud enough to get attention but Regina wasn't incredibly vocal in the sack. It was going well enough, til the door opened and Lily's voice cut through the quiet of the room.

"Simon, we need to-" 

He looked up in time to catch her reaction. Which was what he originally thought he wanted. He wanted her to be hurt. Thought she deserved it for what she did to him. But the look on her face cut him much deeper than he ever could have expected it to. That pained expression, on her beautiful face was too hard to look at. It was like watching the purest angel experience the deepest agony. Her hands went to her face as if she could somehow shield herself from what she was seeing, from what he had done. After that, she was gone. He tore himself away from Regina and jumped out of his bed at the sound of her door slamming. He grabbed his trousers and shoved his legs through before following her across the hall. 

She was crying, harder than he'd ever heard her cry before. He tried to open her door, but it only moved about an inch before he realized she was in front of it. "Lily. Let me in." But she didn't. She didn't move, if anything she cried harder. He ran a hand through his receding hair and braced himself on the door frame. He knew her, there would be no way she would listen to him until she calmed down. But he wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of leaving her on her floor crying. He had to do something else. Try a different approach.

Lily was sobbing, harder than she ever had in her life. He.. was with someone else. With Regina. The sight of it was burned into her memory. Oh, and it hurt. It hurt so bad. The image was fresh in her mind. He was inside someone else. A part of her mind rejected it. But there was no denying what she saw. Lily sobbed against the floor at the pain in her chest. It hurt so much worse than her gunshot wound. It was the most pain she'd ever felt in her life and it didn't budge. It stayed in her chest, a constant reminder of what she'd just seen and Lily wondered if the pain might actually kill her.

Her door opened, ever so slightly til it collided with her. It wasn't hard to guess who'd opened it. "Lily. Let me in." His voice. That hurt too. It was too soon and she cried harder from it. She didn't respond. She couldn't even if she wanted to. Choked sobs left her as she laid against the floor. After a long moment, she could hear the faint sound of his footsteps retreating. Though he was gone, there was no calming down. She was too upset. It hurt far too much. It felt like he'd shoved a knife right into her heart and was slowly twisting it. 

Seconds felt like years as Lily laid, crying on her cold floor. Sometime later she heard two very familiar voices arguing as they approached her room. A soft knocking sounded against her door but she ignored it. She couldn't respond even if she wanted to. All the crying she'd done meant a hard knot formed in her throat. "Lily." It was Dwight. His voice calling out to her through the door. "Lily, talk to me." His voice was close, like he was sitting on the floor on the opposite side of the door. She still didn't respond. What was the point? What was the point of anything anymore? "Lily, you gotta get off the floor. Think of the baby."

"Baby?" Simon's voice. As upset as she was, her mind still registered the surprise in his tone. "What baby?" Her hands immediately shot up to cover her ears at the sound. She couldn't stand to hear his voice right now. More muted arguing ensued before the door cracked open again. "Lily, you gotta get up." Dwight said again and Lily shook her head even though he couldn't see. "I can't." She choked out, though it came out a whole lot closer to a whisper. "Then scoot over and I'll help you." 

"No." She stubbornly cried. Her face was wet from the tears she'd shed. They fell to the floor and spread across her face and into her hair. "Come on, Lily. Let me help you. It's not good for the baby for you to lay on the cold floor. You have to take care of it. It's counting on you." He was trying to appeal to her rational side. It was working. As terrified as she was at the thought of having a baby, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt it. She didn't want to be like her own parents. "Only you?" She asked, her voice raw from crying. "Only me. I promise, alright?" 

Though she was still crying, with the help of her good hand she managed to scoot away from the door enough for Dwight to squeeze in. He knelt beside her and released a deep sigh at the sight of her. "Come on, Lily. Let's get you to the bed." He helped her up, sobbing as she did and she clung to him as he led her to her makeshift bed. He pulled her boots off before he laid beside her on the mattress. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed. "He..." She couldn't even say it. Seeing it was bad enough and Dwight sighed again. "I know. He told me." One of his hands found it's way to her hair and he stroked her hair, careful of her wounded shoulder as he did. "It hurts, Dwight. It hurts so bad." She sobbed. "I think I'm dying." 

"You're not dying." He said. But she didn't fully believe that. The pain in her chest was so intense. She'd rather be shot ten times over than experience what she was feeling right now. "But he was with her. I couldn't do it with Joey. I made him stop. But he..." She couldn't finish. She only started crying again. The sharp sound of glass shattering echoed from the hallway and Lily tensed reflexively. "It's alright." Dwight said immediately. "He's just coming to terms with the fact that he's a jackass." Lily continued to sob into Dwight's chest until she couldn't. When she exhausted herself both mentally and physically, she fell into a restless sleep.

When she woke she was just as miserable as the night before. She opened her still sore eyes to see that Dwight was still in her room. Though he was now sporting different clothes. He must have slipped out while she was asleep. "Morning sleeping beauty." He said with a smile and she frowned. "Well, I had to try." He added before he sat up. She followed his lead, sitting up in her bed. Motley was sprawled out at the foot of the bed, looking like he didn't have a care in the world. Lucky him. Dwight got up and her eyes followed him as he crossed her room to where her dresser was. He picked up a tray and brought it back to the bed and set it down. The tray was filled with everything from pancakes to ice cream. "Maria made it. She sends her love." Dwight said and Lily nodded.

Though food was the last thing on her mind, she knew she needed to eat. "She's too nice." Lily said quietly and picked up the fork. She really didn't want to eat. She didn't want to do anything. Tears welled in her eyes and she rubbed them away with the back of her hand. She cleared her throat before she spoke again. "Shouldn't you be at work?" Lily asked, when she realized how bright it was in her room. "Don't worry about it. Negan says congratulations by the way. He wanted me to make sure I told you." He rolled his eyes and Lily cracked a smile at the sight. She ditched the fork in favor of grabbing the bowl of ice cream and wasted no time bringing a spoonful to her mouth.

The ice cream was good and she took another bite. Then another. Once she was finished with that she picked at one of the pancakes. When she was sure she couldn't eat any more, she took her vitamin and her pain pill. Motley sauntered over and she scratched his head a few times. She was rewarded with a deep purr and she smiled when he rubbed his head against her thigh. "You wanna go for a walk?" Dwight asked and she shrugged with her good shoulder. It might be nice to get out of her bedroom. As long as Simon wasn't around. She couldn't deal with that situation yet. It was still too fresh. Still too painful.

Dwight stepped out of her room so she could change her clothes. Which, of course took way longer than it needed to. She picked out a pair of black skinny jeans and a green flannel. She raked the fingers of her good hand through her blonde waves to untangle it before she attempted the annoyingly difficult task of putting socks on. She used her left hand too much the night before and it showed in the severe pain she was experiencing. But the pain pill would kick in soon, she just needed to be patient. It occured to Lily, halfway through putting her second sock on that she didn't get dizzy when she got out of bed. She tried to think of anything she'd done differently. She sat up for a while, eating her breakfast before she got up. Maybe that was the secret? Just take a really long time to get out of bed? She'd have to test that theory a few times before she'd let herself get excited about no more dizzy spells.

With a few pets spared for Motley, she left her room. Dwight was leaning against the wall beside her door and she walked beside him as they made their way outside. It had snowed more overnight. There was a good four inches on the ground. Walking through this was going to be a workout. But Lily needed the exercise. She'd been laying flat for too long. At least the snowing had stopped and there was close to no wind. It was actually a really nice day, all things considered. The world wasn't going to stop turning just because Lily was miserable. 

Her pain had somehow transformed while she'd been sleeping. Instead of the sharp pain she felt the night before, today she felt hollow, empty. Like there was a giant hole in her chest where her heart had previously been. Like, instead of simply stabbing her, Simon had cut her heart straight out of her chest and removed it completely. "Why does it hurt so much?" She asked Dwight, raising her head to meet his eyes while they lit their cigarettes and he gave her a sympathetic look. "I think you already know the answer to that." He said. She did. It took Simon sleeping with someone else for her to realize that she was in love with him. Lily had never been in love before. But so far, she wasn't that fond of it. It sucked, honestly. 

They took a leisurely pace around the factory while they smoked. It was quiet outside, most of the saviors were working so they didn't run into many people. They passed a few workers outside the greenhouse but otherwise they were alone. "You know," Dwight started as they rounded the second corner of the massive factory. "When Sherry left, I didn't eat for a week. Course I never saw them together." That actually helped to hear. Dwight had been through something similar and he was okay now. Maybe she'd be okay eventually. That might be wishful thinking though. Lily couldn't remember what it had been like to be happy. It was all the fault of that stupid rogue group that shot her. If she hadn't been shot, none of this would have ever happened. She couldn't imagine a scenario in her mind that lead to her being happy again. Just more misery.

"Hey, you want me to break his nose?" Dwight asked and she cracked a smile. "Kind of." She replied. He definitely deserved it. "Done. Let's go see what they're making in the kitchen." With their cigarettes finished, they headed back inside the factory. But instead of going upstairs, they went to visit Maria in the kitchen. The other workers didn't bother them, just worked around them. Maria was excited about their visit. She greeted Dwight by throwing her arms around his neck and kissed him. It hurt Lily to watch but she didn't say anything. It wasn't their fault Simon had ripped her heart out. It was hers. She knew better than to get into a relationship. She'd avoided them for this very reason. 

Lily thought Maria was really pretty. She had waist length pin straight black hair and big soft brown eyes. There was a small scar that curved over her bottom lip but it was such a light color you really had to squint to see it at all. She was short too. Much shorter than Lily's five foot nine self and definitely a lot closer to Dwight's thirty something age than Lily's twenty three or so. When they parted Maria pulled Lily in for a hug, being careful of her wounded shoulder as she did. Maria was always nice to Lily, ever since Dwight first introduced them. The woman was convinced that they were long lost siblings. 

"Are you hungry?" Maria asked and Lily shrugged with her good shoulder before hopping up to sit on the counter. "Not really." She said and Maria nodded before disappearing into the kitchen's pantry. She returned with a spoon and a can of frosting and held them out for Lily. The front of the can said 'Funfetti' in colorful letters and Lily smiled. She might be sad, but she could still go for some frosting. She held the can between her knees and pulled the blue lid off and removed the thin foil covering the frosting before digging her spoon in. The frosting was just as colorful as the label promised. Oh and it taste good too. It was flecked with sprinkles that were every color of the rainbow. 

"It hurts my teeth just watching you eat that." Dwight said and Lily laughed. She actually laughed. 

The pain pill had kicked in fully and Lily was just a little loopy. But that was okay, it made it harder for her mind to wander to unpleasant things. "We're not gonna get her in trouble are we?" Lily asked Dwight who just smirked. "Nope." Maria was the one who answered. "This morning Negan sent out a message to us here in the kitchen. Basically, if you want something, you get it." 

"That's weird, right?" Lily asked before shoving more frosting into her mouth and Dwight shrugged. "Honestly? I think he's genuinely excited for you, all things considered. Last summer one of the laundry girls had a baby and he gave her like two months off for it." That was pretty surprising. Negan didn't exactly seem kid friendly. But what did Lily know? She'd never spent a considerable amount of time around the man, maybe he was. 

"Hey, you wanna watch a movie?" Dwight asked and Lily nodded in excitement. Dwight had a tv in his room too. Though, most of the movies were sci fi from what she'd seen in the past. Not exactly her style. Though, he had a few older tv shows she recognized. Lily probably could have gotten entertainment for her room if she'd thought to ask for it. But since she spent so much time with Simon and had basically been living with him for the last month, there wasn't much point. He always kept her entertained. "Can I bring the frosting?" Lily asked him and he exhaled a laugh. "Duh." 

She replaced the lid on the frosting before she hopped off the counter. They said goodbye to Maria before they both made their way upstairs to Dwight's room.


	25. The Blackest Day

When they got to Dwight's room, he let her pick out the movie. Which, was a pretty difficult task since they had very different taste in films. The very first thing she saw at the top of the stack was a Star Wars box set. Underneath that was a Star Trek box set. It was too bad Dwight never got to meet James, they were so much alike. Right down to their sci fi addictions. Her eyes fell on a few old tv shows. One of them being Happy Days. Lily really liked Happy Days. It played late at night on the re run channel and she'd probably seen every episode before the world fell apart.

She had a tv in her room when she was a teen. It had to be there, otherwise it would have gotten broken like the one in their living room had been by one of her dad's drunken tantrums. Her tv had this really shitty antenna that only picked up three channels and only in black and white. There was a weather channel, a classic movie re run channel and a cartoon channel. She never watched the cartoon channel, but at about nine or so every night it would switch from playing cartoons to re runs of old tv shows. The line up was called Nick at Night. She always stayed up late watching the old classic sitcoms. It was one of her only good memories before she graduated. 

Her eyes landed on another film called National Treasure. "What's this?" She asked Dwight, holding the disc case up so he could see it from where he sat on the bed. "Basically two dudes fighting over the Declaration of Independence." He explained. That seemed like the weirdest movie plot in the world to Lily. How did someone even come up with that? "Why?" She asked and Dwight snorted a laugh. "Because that's what the movie is about." He said and Lily shook her head. Who the hell would go through all that trouble for a piece of old paper? "Sounds just as terrible as The Mummy." She said.

"Hey, The Mummy is a cool movie." Dwight said and Lily shot him a 'what the fuck' look. Granted, she'd only seen the first six or so minutes of it, it seemed pretty ridiculous to her. "You know, we could probably just stroll into wherever they keep the Declaration of Independence and take it." Lily said and Dwight got a funny look on his face. "You know, don't tempt me. Cause that would look so badass on my wall." Lily shook her head. She shouldn't have said anything, cause now it looked like he was genuinely entertaining the idea. She could only imagine the weird stuff James would want to acquire if he were around. He'd probably hit up an arcade like first thing. 

With a shrug of her good shoulder, Lily popped the movie into the player figuring she'd give it a chance. She sat, cross legged on Dwight's bed beside him while they watched it. A small smile came to Lily's face when her eyes wandered, landing on the small wooden rose Dwight had carved for Maria. They made a great couple. And aside from the axe wielding lunatic, that had actually been a really good day. Lily wound up eating the whole container of frosting by the time the movie was finished. With her pain pill having kicked in a while ago, she drifted in and out of the movie. It was hard to focus and she nearly fell asleep. By a stroke of luck, she managed to finish it.

Dwight suggested starting another one, but Lily was far too tired. She needed to lie down. After thanking Dwight, she got to her feet, assured him she'd get back to her room just fine and left. His room wasn't incredibly far from her own anyway. Maybe six or so rooms away from hers. She passed the break room. A quick glance at her watch told her that the saviors would more than likely be back from their run by now. But she did not look in the break room as she passed it. She kept her eyes forward, focused on her side of the hallway. When she reached her door, she quickly entered, stopping halfway inside and frowning at what she saw.

Next to her mini fridge, on top of her dresser sat a big white teddy bear, a pack of Oreos and a jar of peanut butter. It wasn't hard to guess who'd left it for her. He'd teased her about one of her favorite food combinations enough. He'd been in her room. She didn't want him in her room. She didn't want anything to do with him. He ripped her heart out and stomped on it. She didn't want the stupid bear either. She didn't care how cute it was. He could give all that crap to Regina. The door was still open and she left it that way as she approached the stuff he'd left for her. One by one she used her good hand to grab each item and toss it into the hallway, making sure to hit the door to his room as she did. The jar of peanut butter hit the door the loudest. When she was done, she closed her door with a satisfying slam. She really hoped he was in his room to hear that. 

Motley was looking quite upset when she turned to face him where he was at the foot of her bed. His back was arched and his tail was all fluffy, she assumed it was from all the noise. "Sorry." She told him, like he could somehow understand her. "Your dad is an asshole." Did he honestly think she wanted anything from him? She suddenly felt like crying again. Her Simon-free day was going so well til he ruined it. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Tears welled in her eyes and she kicked her boots off before climbing under her blanket. Despite Simon upsetting her once again, it wasn't long til she fell asleep. 

When she woke next, it was dark in her room. Motley was sprawled out next to her face on her pillow. She smiled when she realized it was him. Sparing a glance at her watch told her it was after seven. There would be food in the break room, not that she had any real desire to go in there. She wasn't exactly in the most social mood. But she had to eat. With a heavy sigh she tossed her blanket off. She got out of her bed and turned the light on. She already couldn't wait to come back to her room. She shoved her feet into her boots before she used her good hand to open the door. She couldn't help but notice that the stuff she'd thrown at Simon's door was gone. She hoped he got the message that she didn't want anything to do with him. 

She made her way down the hallway to the saviors break room. She could hear their excitement before she even reached the door. It must have been a good day for everyone because it sounded like everyone was in a good mood. Everyone except Lily of course. She kept her eyes trained on the crock pot as she entered. She fetched herself a bowl from the cupboards, ignoring everyone else as she did and filled it with the white sauce covered shell noodles. After sticking a fork in her bowl she quickly made her way out of the room, keeping her eyes forward as she did. She was glad, she hadn't seen Simon or Regina. It was still too soon for that. 

Lily made her way back to her room with her pasta. Once again she was left wishing James was around. Though, she wasn't even sure he would know what to say about her situation. She ate what she could and having no desire to go back into the break room, she left the bowl on her bedside table. She kicked off her boots and crawled back under her blanket. Motley sauntered over and she smiled when he rubbed his head against her, demanding she pet him. It wasn't all bad with Simon. He let her keep Motley. That had been one of their best days together. Everything had been going so perfectly between them. It wasn't fair. Lily sulked until she fell back asleep.

The next day, Lily woke to find she'd overslept again. She was getting used to it and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. And if it were somehow possible, she felt even more hollow than the day before. She didn't even feel like she was alive anymore. Just existing. She knew she needed to have her bandages changed, so reluctantly she left her warm bed. Leaving Motley where he'd been curled up next to her. Without bothering to change her clothes, she made her way outside for a smoke. She leaned against the side of the factory's building while she smoked her cigarette. 

She felt dead inside. Even though she was anything but. If anything, with the addition of another life inside her she was more alive than ever. If only she felt that way. Lily really hoped she healed soon, because her new routine wasn't doing any favors for her mental health. Especially considering recent events. When she smoked her way through two cigarettes she decided it was time to see the doctor. With every day that passed, it seemed like the simplest tasks got harder. Even her feet felt heavier as they carried her down the hallway to the Carson's makeshift office. 

The first thing he did was take her blood pressure. Then he checked her weight. Despite eating an entire can of frosting the previous day, her weight hadn't changed. It was going to take a bit more effort on her part to get the number back up. "I don't feel pregnant." She told the doctor while she sat on the cot. She hadn't been dizzy when she got up today either. He smiled. "Well, you definitely are. We can check the heartbeat again if it'll make you feel better." She thought about it for a moment before she nodded. He got out the very same hand held device as he'd used a few days prior and she undid the bottom buttons of her flannel and her skinny jeans. 

He poured that same jelly like substance on her skin before he moved the small wand across her lower abdomen. He pointed out her own heartbeat. Then, a moment later he found it and pointed it out. That gentle fluttering sound. She didn't shove his hand away this time. She waited til he was finished. "Baby's fine. Try to relax. Alright?" Easier said than done, she thought. "I haven't been dizzy. The past two days." She told him while she buttoned her jeans. "Well that's a good thing. Pregnancy is by no means a one way street. Whether you have symptoms or not, he or she is perfectly fine. Now, let's get those bandages changed." 

When her wound was freshly bandaged and the doctor's assurance that everything was fine with the baby, she left his office with instructions to come back in another two days for new bandages. She stepped outside for another smoke before she made her way back upstairs. With Dwight gone back to work, there wasn't much to do besides lay around. She filled Motley's food and water dish. That cat certainly had a personality of his own. He went nuts if the food was barely half gone. With that completed and her body thoroughly exhausted from all the movement, she laid in her bed and took a nap.

It was late afternoon when Lily woke up to the sound of Motley scratching his post, loudly. Her watch read five thirty and her stomach growled. Lily could have kicked herself at the realization she hadn't eaten all day. She pushed her blanket off and took a deep breath before getting up and shoving her feet back into her boots. She walked down the off white hallway til she reached the break room. Dwight was standing at the counter and she smiled at the sight of him. "Hey you." He called when she walked in. She gave a slight wave with her good hand. 

A quick glance around the room told her it was safe enough. There was no one around she didn't particularly want to see. She approached the crock pot, where there was some kind of vegetable soup on and Dwight was already filling her a bowl. Once it was filled and he'd shoved a spoon in it, he handed it to her and she waited for him to fill his own before they made their way to their usual table. Arat and Lamar were already there, working on their own dinner and they looked up in unison as Lily and Dwight joined them at the table. Lily did a double take when she realized something was very different about Arat. Instead of her usual bleach blonde pixie cut, she was now sporting a very cotton candy pink color. 

"You like it?" She asked and Lily nodded while she swallowed her food. "Hell yeah. No ones gonna fuck with someone brave enough to dye their hair pink." 

"See? That's what I said." Lamar said and Lily smiled. It was nice being around her friends again. Even though everything was completely different. She missed the days, before Simon when they could just play poker and drink and Lily didn't have to worry about a baby or Regina. Or Simon fucking Regina. What a mess everything turned in to.

"Can we talk about the baby yet?" Arat asked and Lily nodded. Though, she was a little surprised everyone already knew. Of course if the kitchen and Negan knew, it was probably safe to assume everyone knew. She wondered who'd been the one to spill it. "Yeah, you can." She said. 

"I saw the doctor today. He changed my bandages. Then he listened to the heartbeat cause I said I didn't feel pregnant." Lily told them. 

"You probably wont feel pregnant til it starts moving." Arat said. That didn't comfort Lily at all. She didn't want to think about it moving around. It was too soon. She hadn't adjusted to the thought of even being pregnant yet. "That sounds terrifying, honestly." She said and Arat laughed. 

"Lily."

She looked up to the sound of her name being called and spotted Fat Joey standing in the doorway. A deep crease appeared in her brow. He'd hardly ever addressed her before. He jerked a thumb in the direction behind him. "Negan wants to see you in his room." She spared a glance at Dwight who just shrugged. "I got no idea." He said. Very reassuring Dwight, she thought before she got up from her seat at the table and followed Fat Joey out of the break room. She followed him down the hallway, a large knot of nausea building up in her stomach as they made their way to Negan's room. She'd never been inside his room before and wasn't exactly in any hurry to change that.

They paused outside the door long enough for Fat Joey to knock, signaling their arrival. He pushed the door open enough for her to enter and promptly closed it behind her when she did. Negan's room looked a lot like Simon's did. Bed to her left, dresser, couch, tv and fridge. The only real difference was the large oak desk that sat beside the couch. Lily noticed Negan there and she knelt, like she was supposed to. He smirked at the sight of her for some reason. Which only confused Lily further. When she was allowed to stand her eyes wandered and they landed on Simon. His face was blank, expressionless as he stared back at her. A rocks glass occupied his right hand with an amber colored liquid swimming inside it. She immediately tore her eyes away and focused on her boss. 

"You wanted to see me?" She asked, trying to get this over with so she could get as far away from Simon as possible. Negan leaned back in his chair and crossed his feet on top of his desk. His bat Lucille was laid across his lap. He looked so relaxed but Lily was anything but. "I did. It's come to my attention that you're pregnant. Congratulations by the way." He said and Lily frowned. "Thanks." She responded. He smiled.

"Now, as I'm sure you're aware, the original plan was to have you on watch duty once your shoulder healed up." A deep crease appeared in Lily's brow when she realized something was up. "Yeah." She answered. 

"Well, now that's no longer the case." She waited for him to expound on his statement, not at all sure she even wanted to know where this was going. "We can't have a pregnant woman on the roof. That just wouldn't be safe." 

"But I have to work." She said and Negan smirked. "You can. As a worker. Working for points."

"What? Why? I can shoot a gun better than half those fucking losers in the break room. Why am I being punished because he doesn't know how to pull out?!" Her voice rose to a level that was no longer cordial and she punctuated her words with a sharp jab of her index finger at the man sitting on the couch. Her anger was rising fast. It wasn't fair. How could they do this to her? Both of them were assholes as far as Lily was concerned. 

Negan laughed. Like the asshole he was. "You two have some serious issues." He was all too amused and Lily wanted to punch that look right off his face. "There's another option. Instead of becoming a worker." Negan offered. Lily wanted so badly to roll her eyes. She was already done with this game. "Then I'll do that." Lily said and Negan smirked. "Careful, you don't even know what it is yet." Lily clenched her teeth. "What is it?" She asked, ready to be done with this so she could go back to her room. An amused look spread across Negan's face as he looked back at Lily.

"Marry me."


	26. Big Girls Cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for the chapter that nobody saw coming...

Lily's mouth fell open at the proposition. Her light blue eyes went to Simon's own brown ones. He was still giving her that same unreadable expression before he threw back the rest of his drink. Who the hell did he think he was? He just had his dick in Regina two nights ago and now here he was proposing marriage. What an asshole. "You couldn't possibly think I would ever-"

"Now hold on." Negan interrupted her before they could start arguing. "As Simon's wife, you wouldn't be required to work." He smiled. "You can say no, of course. Though, the point system isn't exactly designed for single mothers." Her eyes went between the two men. She didn't know if Simon had put Negan up to this or if it was his idea the whole time. All she knew was that she hated it. Hated it as much as she hated the idea of marrying Simon. He just sat there, staring at her with that blank expression. "If you want a wife so badly, why don't you ask Regina?!" She snapped at Simon as involuntary tears welled in her eyes. She watched his reaction to her words, the way his jaw clenched and his eyes darkened in a murderous glare. "Regina isn't pregnant with my child."

"Are you sure? Maybe you didn't pull out of her either!" She snapped and he raised his fist to his mouth and took a deep breath. "Jesus Christ, you two are something else." Negan said as a tear rolled down Lily's cheek. She quickly brushed it away. "Why are you doing this to me? Why can't you just leave me alone?" She asked him. It wasn't fair. Every time she turned around there he was, making her life more and more hellish. She wished she'd never met him. All he'd done was hurt her. And he kept doing it. Like he just couldn't resist. But Lily didn't know how much more she could take. 

"I can't leave you alone, Lily. You're carrying my child." Well, that was the least helpful answer he could have given. She turned her attention towards Negan then. "How can you be okay with this? How can you allow this?" She asked. That amused look never left his face. "The choice is yours Lily. No one is forcing you to do anything." How could he say that? He just admitted that the point system wouldn't work for her. They were cornering her into this. Making it seem like she had a choice when she didn't. "Is this how you got your wives, Negan? Coercion?" 

"Watch it." He said, the warning clear in his tone. It wasn't fair. She never would have expected this from Simon. She felt blind sighted. Like a deer frozen in the middle of the road while a truck speeds towards it, headlights blazingly bright. "I can work on the roof." Lily said. "I can." Negan just shook his head. "You've been given two choices, Lily. Why don't you take some time to think about it. Come back in an hour. You can give us your answer then." Not having any other choice, she turned around and left. 

Lily was devastated. How could they do this to her? She'd done everything that was ever asked of her. She worked on vehicles, volunteered for extra shifts taking watch. Though, that was mostly before she started hanging out with Simon, but still. She made her way back to the break room to see if Dwight was still in there. He was, thankfully and she called out to him the second she saw him. "What's wrong?" He asked. He must have seen the distressed look on her face because he was already out of his chair and approaching her. She stood by the counter, bracing herself there with her good arm. 

"Simon. That's what's wrong." She told him, glaring daggers at the counter. "He just can't leave me alone. He wont. He's hellbent on making me as miserable as he fucking can." She didn't care who heard. What were they gonna do? Tell Simon how she really felt? She'd tell him herself. "What happened?" Dwight asked her. She took a deep breath. "He asked me to marry him." Dwight's eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

"Yeah. Only I didn't tell you the worst part. They're basically forcing me into it. It's that or I have to work for points." 

"Are you serious?" Arat spoke up from across the room.

"That's fucked up." Lamar said.

Someone else in the room laughed. Though, she didn't have to look to know who. "Shut up Joey." Dwight snapped. Lily's looked over anyway and he was fixing her with an evil smirk. The look only made more sinister by his severely bruised face. "I hope your not actually surprised. You could of had me. Instead you picked that fucking psycho." Dwight shot Joey a look that shut him up before he grabbed Lily by the top of her good arm and led her out of the room. He dropped her arm but she continued to walk beside him til they were outside. 

"I only have one hour to decide." Lily told him while they lit their cigarettes. "I can't believe he's doing this to me." It was snowing, again. Lily was a bit surprised at the sight. It had to be headed towards spring soon. But maybe her estimation was off. At least there was no wind. They stood by the back door while they smoked. "I did not see this coming." Dwight said, running a hand through his blonde hair. "What an asshole." 

Lily exhaled a laugh. "I can't believe Negan is allowing this. He said it's too 'dangerous' for a pregnant woman to be on the roof. That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard in my life. He just wanted to back me into a corner." She shook her head and took another drag. "Don't do it. Take the points job." Lily shook her head again. "No. It wont be like Maria's job. You know they'll assign me some bullshit that doesn't earn shit for points." Dwight should know better, he worked for points before he was a savior. Maria got more points because she knew how to make ice cream. She was automatically more valuable. Lily didn't have any special talents. Plus, if she became a worker, her room would be gone and her weapons. Probably most of her clothes too. She'd have to start over. But on the other hand, she couldn't stomach the thought of going back to Simon after what he'd done to her. 

Dwight sighed and raked his hand through his hair again. "What are you going to do?" He asked and she frowned. There was only one thing she could do. Negan had designed it that way. "I don't have a choice." She said. It was quiet for a long moment while they smoked their cigarettes. Once they finished their first ones, they collectively decided on a second. "You know." Dwight started. "Just cause Simon didn't give you a choice, doesn't mean you have to make it easy for him." Lily's brow creased. "What do you mean?" She asked and he smirked. 

"Well, he wants you. Pretty bad I'd say if he went through the trouble of getting Negan involved." 

"So?" Lily wasn't sure where Dwight was going with this. "So... make a few demands of your own. Come up with some conditions or something." He said it like it was obvious but she was still lost. "Conditions?" 

"Yeah. You have more power than you think. You could probably ask for anything, he'd have to give it to you. Or, come up with some boundaries and if he breaks them, you get to come back to your regular job with us." A small smile lit Lily's face. Dwight was right. She just had to come up with some conditions. Get it in writing and when Simon fucked up, and she was sure he would eventually, she'd be free to go back to her regular job. "I can do that." She said confidently. With their plan now in place, Dwight finished his cigarette and left Lily to do a bit of thinking. 

About an hour later, she approached Negan's door. She'd been much more confident when Dwight was around. Without him, her confidence was severely lacking. She raised her good hand and knocked on the door. Knowing he was expecting her, she pushed the door open and found the two men sitting right where she'd left them. "The lovely Lily returns." Negan cooed, which only made her want to roll her eyes. "Do you have an answer for us?" He asked casually, like he wasn't asking her to sign her life away. She nodded, keeping her eyes on Negan. 

She took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she was about to do. "I'll do it. I'll marry him. But, I have conditions." She told him and watched as a wide smile crossed his face. "Conditions?" Simon asked though she did not look at him. "This isn't a negotiation." Negan held a hand up to stop him. "Well, no one said that now. Let's hear her out." He said.

"There's four conditions but I want them in writing. If he breaks one, I get my old job back. I get to go on runs again." 

"You are not-" 

"Simon." Negan warned before he opened one of the drawers of his large oak desk. He retrieved a large notepad filled with lined sheets of yellow paper and a black pen. He wrote a few paragraphs, no doubt drawing up the terms of the agreement before he looked up again. "Alright, Lily. What are these conditions?" He was looking all to excited to be doing this. Lily swore this man lived for the drama. Of course, you'd have to, to have as many wives as that man did.

"I'm his only wife." Lily told him. She was not going to be part of a fucked up collection of women. "Done." Simon said, a little too eagerly for Lily's liking. Negan smirked at Lily but wrote it down. "Next?"

"He's not allowed to fuck anyone else. Not even his friend Regina." Lily said bitterly. 

"Are you gonna put out?" Simon snapped and Lily looked over, meeting his eyes for the first time and giving him the dirtiest look she could muster. "Yes. I'll 'put out'." She snapped at him. He smirked before throwing back his drink. "Good." He said before nodding towards Negan. "Put that in the contract." A small smile came to Negan's face before he went back to his writing.

"No." Lily said and Negan looked up. "Don't put that in there." She said before looking back at Simon. "I'm not a whore." She told him and he sneered wickedly. "That's right. You're a wife. I'm just making sure you're gonna act like one." She frowned. He was being unnecessarily cruel for no reason. All of this was his fault. At the sight of her frown, his tone changed. "Don't put it down." He said to Negan who only shrugged. "What's number three?" Negan asked, looking like he was having way too much fun drawing up the conditions of their marriage.

"He's not allowed to hit me. If he does we're instantly done." Simon's head whipped up faster than she'd ever seen. "I would never-" He nearly growled. 

"I don't know you anymore Simon." She said, watching how he tensed angrily from her words. He exhaled a laugh before shaking his head. "Well, were definitely putting sex into the contract now." He said to Negan who immediately went back to happily writing the terms. Eventually, once those two things were added he looked up expectantly. The last one?" He asked.

"I want to work. Even if it's after the baby." Simon ran a hand angrily through his receding hair. "Who's gonna take care of our fucking kid, Lily?" He asked and she gave him another dirty look. "Maybe you should ask your girlfriend to babysit." She snapped. He exhaled angrily and ran a hand across the length of his thick mustache. "No. I'm saying no to this one." 

"That isn't fair." 

"Eventually, we can talk about it. But not while it's still a baby. When it's older you can do watch on the roof or something." She frowned, knowing that was the best deal she was going to get. She crossed her arms against her chest and turned back to Negan. "Fine." Negan smiled, he was having way too much fun with this. A few quiet moments passed that had Lily glaring at the floor while Negan finished up. When he was finished he called Lily over to read it over and she cringed when she realized he actually put sex in the contract as a condition to her conditions. Way to make her feel like a prostitute. 

It was as good as it was going to get so Lily signed it before handing it off to Simon. He didn't even read it, he just took the pen from her and signed it. She frowned when he handed it back to her. She really thought having the contract would make her feel better. Instead, she felt like her life was over. "Well!" Negan exclaimed as he rose from his chair behind the nice desk. "Let's go have a wedding." He rubbed his palms together excitedly before he grabbed his bat Lucille and led the way out of his room. 

Getting married in the apocalypse is weird. Of course most things in the apocalypse are either weirdly normal or weirdly not. This particular thing is weirdly normal. Of course, Lily had never been to a wedding before so she didn't have anything to actually base hers on. But she'd read books and from what she'd read it seemed pretty spot on. Nearly everyone in the factory was there and Lily wondered if they thought someone was about to get burned since that seemed to be the more likely reason for gathering everyone together. Negan said a few words, basically threatening anyone that didn't treat Lily with the same respect as the other wives. 

That only made her want to roll her eyes. Instead her eyes widened when Simon actually pulled out a ring. That wasn't something she'd been expecting and she nearly choked when Simon held his hand out for hers. Her hand was trembling when she gave it to him. She felt like she was going to pass out when he slid it onto the ring finger of her left hand and it had absolutely nothing to do with the pregnancy. He donned a ring of his own, a black stone band and that's when she spared a glance at her own ring. It was an oval sapphire, surrounded by a ring of tiny diamonds. It felt heavy on her hand and may as well have been a ball and chain around her ankle, anchoring her to Simon. 

With their marriage announced, everyone else went on with their lives. If only Lily could do the same. Hers just kept getting worse. She followed him wordlessly back to his room. Their room. Her pulse was racing and she clutched her contract tightly against her chest while she followed him inside. He told her to wait and she did, just beside the door while he went across the hallway to her room long enough to acquire Motley and the majority of his belongings. "We can get the rest of your things tomorrow." He said as he set her kitten on his bed. He set her pain medication and vitamins on the bedside table. 

With the door to his room closed and her fate now sealed, she took slow deliberate breaths to keep herself calm. At least on the outside. Inside, she was freaking out. He kicked his boots off by the door and she followed his lead. Her eyes followed him as he went over to his mini fridge and made himself a drink. Though, she didn't recognize the glass he used. It looked new, the bottom was much thicker than his previous rocks glass set. In fact, all of the glasses that sat on top of the mini fridge looked new. He threw back a mouthful of an amber liquid before he spoke again. "You gonna stand by the door all night?" 

She didn't really know what to do. But she knew what the contract required of her. Her good hand worked on the button and zipper of her jeans and she kicked them off. She saw him watching her out of the corner of her eyes while she started undoing the buttons of her shirt. "We don't have to do that tonight." He said suddenly and she frowned. Why would he want sex in the contract if he didn't actually want to sleep with her? Was he not attracted to her anymore? Did he prefer Regina now? She choked on a sob and he looked over just as she turned away from him in favor of climbing under the soft blanket on his-their bed. 

He sighed heavily before he poured himself another shot. 

She laid on her back, next to the wall and rolled her head to the left so she was no longer looking at Simon. Tears welled in her eyes at the thought of sleeping in the same bed he just had another woman in. She used her good hand to wipe them away with the back of her hand. He sighed again before he crossed the room and pulled his t shirt off before sliding under the blanket beside her. "Lily-" 

"Do you prefer brunettes now?" She choked on the words as they left her. Her good hand shot up to cover her face as she started crying. "Women with mowhawks? Or... women your own age? Is that it? Is that what you like?" He sighed again before he responded. "None of that is true, Lily. None of it." 

"Why aren't I good enough for you anymore?" She cried and his arm went around her waist. "You are, Lily. I just married you." She shook her head as more tears fell from her eyes. 

"No. You did that to hurt me. Why are you hurting me?! I love you Simon. Please stop hurting me. I can't take anymore!" She sobbed against her hand and he let her. He didn't say anything else. There was nothing he could say. There was no fixing what he'd done. He simply held her while she cried til she finally exhausted herself and fell asleep.


	27. Wolves

The next morning found Lily feeling more miserable than ever before. Simon was gone, which hardly surprised her. He always disappeared in the mornings. She didn't even want to leave the bed. If only she could just lay there forever and not talk to anyone ever again. The ring on her left hand felt like a band around her lungs, constricting them. She felt like she was drowning and she didn't know how to stop it.

A quick look at her watch told her it was just after eight. Reluctantly, she threw the blanket back and sat up. Motley was beside her, stretched out where Simon had previously been. Her eyes hurt, she realized when she rubbed at them. A deep frown came to her face when she remembered all the crying she'd done the night before. With a deep sigh, she got out of bed. Ignoring the water and Honey Bun that was sitting on the bedside table, she gathered fresh clothes. The majority of her clothes were still in their dresser, which was annoyingly convenient. After she dressed in black jeans and a blue flannel, she checked on Motley's food and water dish but Simon must of filled those when he got up because they were full. 

With Motley being taken care of, she stepped out of their room and went outside for a smoke. It was a warmer day, maybe forty something. Which was more than welcome. Lily was ready for spring. But the warmer weather meant the previous snow had turned into a disgusting slush that squished under her boots as she walked. Heavy clouds lingered in the sky, reflecting the way Lily felt on the inside. No one else was around. That was her life now. Being alone again while everyone else went off to work. 

A little while later found Lily sitting on the floor in her and Simon's room. She sat, cross legged between the couch and coffee table and had just mixed the bottle labeled color with the one labeled developer. Motley occupied her lap. She grabbed the thin plastic gloves and was just about to put them on when the door opened and Simon strolled in. He was instantly interested in what she was doing on the floor and walked over. Honestly, she was more than surprised to see him. She thought he'd be working. "What the fuck is all this?" He asked, scooping up the now empty box. The woman on the front was sporting a flat brown hair color. A stark contrast to Lily's natural light blonde color. "You're joking, right?" He asked, irritation clear in his tone. 

Lily just frowned and ignored him. "Go away." She said, tensing when he threw the cardboard box across the room. Even Motley abandoned her lap at the sight of the sudden movement. He took a few deep breaths before he spoke again. "Did you even read the fucking box, Lily?" He asked angrily, grabbing the bottles from their place on the coffee table in front of her. She flinched from his sudden movement in front of her. She hated that she did that, but she didn't know what to expect from him these days. "You can't use chemicals like this when you're pregnant!" He snapped before rounding the coffee table and tears stung her eyes as she watched him slide the window up and toss the bottles right out of it. "I'm just trying to be what you want, Simon." She said as the tears spilled over. 

"I don't want you to look like Regina!" He yelled, one of his hands found his receding hair out of frustration and she brought her knees to her chest. "Stop yelling at me!" She cried before burying her face in her knees. Her good arm wrapped around her legs and she sobbed into herself. Suddenly Simon's hands were on her and she flinched. "Look at me Lily." He said, pulling her face up. "No." She sobbed, stubbornly keeping her eyes closed.

He held her face between his warm hands. His thumbs, brushing the tears off her cheeks. He sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, Lily. I made a mistake. I never thought it would give you a complex. You're so beautiful. You have to know that." She shook her head between his hands. "No." She cried taking shaky breaths between her heavy sobs. She still hadn't looked at him. "You were... inside her." She cried.

"I wanted to hurt you. I thought you fucked Joey. I'm not proud of my actions." He said. She shook her head again. "I never fucked him." She cried. Simon pulled her into him, being careful of her wounded shoulder as he did. "I know. I didn't believe you at first. I'm sorry for that." He said. A small part of her mind registered that she'd never heard him apologize before. For anything. Not even when he threw her in the hole. But he just apologized twice. His hands were warm as they held her and she'd be lying if she said it didn't bring her a slight comfort. "We can fix this, Lily. But you have to let me. You have to try too." She shook her head against his chest. "You can't fix it. I can't even look at you, without seeing her. You can't fix it." He sighed again. 

"You have to try to calm down. You can't be this upset all the time. It's not good for our baby." Though she was still crying, his words did stir something in her. She took slow, albeit shaky breaths to try to calm down. "How come you're not working?" She asked. She'd been wondering ever since he walked in. He never took a day off before. He exhaled a laugh. "It's our honeymoon." He said simply as he stroked her hair. She frowned. 

"The day after tomorrow I have to go to the satellite outpost. I'll be gone for a week or so." 

"I thought you wanted to fix things." She said. The last thing she wanted was to be locked up and forgotten about. He was going to leave her alone? After all his big talk about wanting to fix their relationship, he was leaving? He sighed. "I do, Lily. And believe me or not, I'm going to. You have me today and tomorrow. And when I come back we'll continue to work on it. I'm not going anywhere. But for now, I want you off this floor." He said.

"I don't care what you want." She said stubbornly and he exhaled a laugh against her hair. "Fair enough. But you're the half naked mother of my child." He said, pointing out the fact that she'd ditched her jeans as she so often did. "The last thing you need is to get sick while you're pregnant." She thought about that and reluctantly made to get up. He helped her, bracing her by the waist and she sat on the couch. Motley was already there, sprawled out on the cushion beside her. Simon left and Lily frowned. That is, til a moment later he started bringing her things into their room. She watched him while he worked, bringing her clothes and a few of Motley's toys he'd forgotten the previous night. It still hurt to look at him. 

When all of her stuff was moved, he brought her blanket over to her on the couch and placed it over her legs. She didn't fight him on it, it was actually nice to have the blanket. "Did you take your pain pill?" He asked and she nodded. It was already well on it's way to kicking in. "I noticed you didn't eat." He said and she frowned. He went to the bedside table and retrieved the Honey Bun and brought it to her. "You have to at least try." He said, placing it in her lap. She wasn't hungry. Especially after being so upset. But she would try anyway. 

"You want to watch a movie?" He asked and she nodded as she opened the pastry. "Any preferences?" He asked and she nodded again. "Smokey and the Bandit." She said and he smiled. It was her favorite movie. It took him just a few minutes to start it up before he came to sit on the couch beside her. He pulled her against his chest and she laid against him while she picked at the sweet pastry. Motley sauntered over and curled up next to her legs. It was quiet for a moment while the opening credits rolled. Simon exhaled a laugh that caught Lily's attention. "What's so funny?" She asked.

"It amuses me that this is your favorite movie." He said and she turned her head to face him, though she did not meet his eyes. "Why?" She asked. 

"They're smuggling illegal beer across state lines and you used to traffic pot. It's almost like you identify with them or something." She could hear the amusement in his tone. The back of her good hand landed on his chest in a firm swat. "Don't analyze me." She said and he exhaled another laugh. He didn't say anything else after that, just held her as they watched the movie together. Lily thought about everything he said to her. He apologized and said he wanted to make it work. He seemed genuine but Lily still felt terrible inside. She didn't want to feel miserable anymore but she didn't know how to change it. Watching her favorite movie helped a little. And as mad as she still was at Simon, having his arms around her felt nice. 

Burt Reynolds kissed Sally Fields and Lily's heart broke a little for it. It was just a movie, she knew that. But it still hurt to see. "Are you really sorry?" She asked Simon whose arms tightened just a little bit. He sighed. "More than you know, Lily." 

"I'm still mad at you." She said and he exhaled a laugh. "I know you are."

"How do we fix it?" Tears stung her eyes but she blinked to dispel them. "Juntos, mi mujer. One day at a time." Lily wound up falling asleep before the movie was finished. She woke to Simon gently shaking her. He'd brought their dinner. She was groggy from the pills and rubbed at her face with her good hand. When she pulled her hand away, Simon was holding a bowl out for her. She took the bowl and examined it's contents. "It's alfredo. I wasn't sure if you had any food aversions." He said and she shook her head. 

"I don't have any symptoms." She told him. "Just dizzy some mornings. I thought the test was wrong til Carson played the heartbeat on this monitor thing." He gave her a surprised look. "You heard the heartbeat?" He asked and she nodded. "Yeah, it scared me at first." He frowned. 

"I should have been there." He looked genuinely upset but was trying not to show it. She'd been around him enough to know. "Well.." She started while she twisted her fork into the long noodles. "After we eat, we can go find the doctor and he can do it again." She shrugged with her good shoulder. "If you want to, I mean." She added before shoving a forkful of alfredo in her mouth. "I want to." He said immediately, surprising Lily. She didn't really know what to expect from Simon regarding her pregnancy. But he went through the trouble of forcing her into a marriage because of it. So, that has to count for something. Something crazy, but still. 

They finished their dinner and Lily put some pants on. The big white bear Simon had left in her room was sitting on top of their dresser, next to the mirror. She exhaled a laugh at the sight of it. "We can get rid of it if you don't want it." Simon said from his place on the couch. He was patiently waiting for her to get dressed. "Better not. It's mine." She said stubbornly and Simon shook his head and rubbed his hand over his face. "Me vuelves loco." He muttered to himself. 

"Loco means crazy." Lily said suddenly, turning to face him. "I heard it in a song. You better not call me crazy. I'm not crazy." 

"I called myself crazy. Because of you." Lily grabbed her brush that she hadn't seen in the better part of a week and used her good hand to run it through her short tresses. She winced at a few particularly thick knots. "It is not my fault you're crazy." She said as she brushed her hair and he exhaled a laugh. When she finished brushing her hair she stepped into her boots and gave Motley a quick scratch on his head where he at on the bedside table. There was no controlling that animal, he just went wherever he wanted. With both of them now ready, they went downstairs to find the doctor.

Carson changed her bandages for her and then she asked him to play the heartbeat again. He was more than willing to oblige her request. When she undid the button and zipper of her jeans, Carson approached her with a now very familiar jelly like substance. Simon was quiet, watching carefully the process. Carson touched the wand to her skin and immediately pointed out her own heartbeat. It took him a moment to find the baby's. No doubt due to it's small size, but eventually he did and pointed it out to her and Simon. Even though it was Lily's third time hearing it, the sound still made her heart jump to her throat. 

Simon didn't say anything, he just stared at her stomach with a weird look on his face. Lily frowned at the sight. When the doctor was finished, she thanked him and he joked that this had better not become an every day thing. She assured him it wouldn't and her and Simon left. They returned to their room and Lily immediately ditched her boots and jeans. Simon sat on their bed, watching her while she undressed. "You didn't say anything." She said, standing in front of him with her hands on her hips. "We went all the way down there for you. And you didn't even say anything." She threw her hands up, making her frustration known. "How are we supposed to work on things-"

"I'm sorry." He said immediately, pulling her between his spread legs. "I knew you were pregnant, but hearing it.. it's a little different." He was right about that. Her own reaction had been far less subtle than a look. "I mean.. I'm forty eight, Lily. I never expected this to happen."

"Well, it's your fault." She reminded him and he shook his head. "I know it is." He said, smirking up at her before he pulled her down to the bed. He moved her so she was laying down on her back, her legs still dangling off the side. He laid next to her, propped up by his hand. His free hand pulled her flannel up, exposing the lower half of her abdomen. His warm hand rest there for a long moment. 

"I want to make you feel good." He said suddenly. "You've been upset for too long." She frowned. "I don't want to sleep with you." She admitted. It was too soon. They had a few okay hours together, that didn't mean she'd forgiven him. His hand went to her hip. It was warm and she grit her teeth when she realized that just because her mind didn't want him, her body still did. Very much so. "Then we wont. Not til you ask me to." He assured her. "But I can still make you feel good." He insisted, his index finger hooked over the rim of her panties and he slid it back and forth along the length of the rim. It was her signature way of teasing him and here he was, using it against her. She exhaled breathily and he looked like he was trying very hard not to smirk. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Porque eres mi mujer y te amo. And because you deserve it." His finger was still teasing her skin and she was very close to giving in. She knew he could make her feel good. "I'm not sucking your dick either." She said and he exhaled a laugh. "I didn't ask you to." He said as he moved, so that he was on his knees on the floor in front of her. She bit her lip while she considered his offer. "You can still be mad at me. Just.. take a break." He said, leaning forward and bringing his face dangerously close to where her body wanted him. She was already getting wet. It wasn't fair, he'd been there for half a second before her body betrayed her. She released a moan when his warm breath hit her legs. "Fine." She said.

His strong arms wrapped around her thighs and he pulled her closer before he reached for her panties, pulling them down her legs. She released a breathy exhale when his lips came down on the soft flesh of her inner thigh. "That's it. Just relax." He cooed before his lips came down on her skin again. Her eyes fluttered closed at the feeling. His warm hands massaged her thighs and she moaned again when his teeth nipped at her flesh. He took his time, in no hurry to end it. Which was nice, especially since he wasn't getting anything out of it. 

A gasp escaped her and her toes curled of their own accord when his tongue ran up the length of her slit. She moaned as his tongue pressed firm circles into her clit. Her hands grabbed the blanket in tight fists and her breathing hitched at the feeling of his tongue on her. He moved, his thick tongue plunging inside her and she cried out. She could feel him smiling against her as she writhed as much as her wounded shoulder would allow. Each of his warm hands held one of her thighs, keeping her spread open for him while his tongue explored every bit of her. It felt too good and he took his time, slowly building up her orgasm. 

"Simon." She whined when he swapped his tongue out for two thick fingers. He groaned. "Fuck, baby. I missed that sound." He said before bringing his mouth down on her clit. He alternated between licking firm circles and sucking the bundle of nerves. Her breathing grew faster, her toes curled tighter and her head fell back. "I'm close." She warned and he doubled his efforts. Sucking her harder while his fingers worked faster. She was absolutely soaked and his fingers were working her so fast that his hand slapped against her wetness each time, adding an incredibly erotic sound that only turned her on more when it reached her ears. "I'm coming!" She cried out as her nerves exploded with pleasure. 

Her back arched and her vision went white as her orgasm shot up her spine and throughout her body. It seemed to last forever and Simon didn't stop until she was slumped against the mattress, her body feeling like Jell-O. She took deep breaths, her eyes falling closed as she came down from her solo high. A few minutes passed and she heard Simon unscrewing the lid to a bottle. She opened her eyes and watched him while he made himself a drink. There was still a prominent bulge in his trousers when he finally turned to face her. He didn't mention it. Instead he approached her and held his hand out to help her up. "You wanna watch another movie?" He asked her when she took his offered hand. 

She smiled. She actually smiled. He made her smile. 

She nodded and went to grab her panties. He took them from her hands before she could put them on. "You wont need those." He said as he tossed them across the room. She gave him a confused look before he explained. "I'll be doing that again later." He said. Well, she wasn't going to say no to that. She made her way to the couch while Simon picked out something for them to watch. Her heart still hurt. A lot. But, she'd let him try to fix it. The alternative was being miserable and Lily didn't want to be miserable anymore. 

He picked out a seventies action comedy and came to sit beside her with the remote. He started up the movie and pulled her against him and she settled next to him with the blanket over her legs. She rest her head on his shoulder while the opening credits rolled.


	28. Everything I Wanted

Lily was sitting on her nice leather couch, picking at a bowl of mint flavored ice cream while an episode of Bonanza played on the tv across from her. It had been hard to keep food down ever since she'd heard about the explosion at the satellite outpost two days prior. Dwight had assured her that Gary said Simon was fine. But she hadn't heard from him and he was now two days late because of it. Though he did tell her, his estimation for how long he would be gone was just that, an estimate. But she missed him and was more than ready for his return. Motley was sprawled out on her legs on top of her blanket while she worried endlessly about the man she loved. She wanted to slap that man. Every time she turned around, there he was making her life more difficult. She sighed, continuing to push the half melted lumps around her bowl with her spoon.

There was a commotion in the hallway, but Lily didn't bother to get up to see what it was. She really didn't care what it was. It wasn't Simon, he would have made his return known if it was. It sounded like someone was moving into her old room. But that was fine, it wasn't like she actually needed it anymore. She was married now. Which, ended up being an easier pill to swallow than she expected it to. The fact that Simon's face practically lived between her legs those two days they spent together certainly helped her adjust. Not once did he ask her to reciprocate. Nothing says 'I'm sorry' like Simon forcing himself to walk around with a hard dick all day. But now, he was taking too long to come home and she missed him.

They were supposed to be working on their relationship. They kind of had to be together to do that. She sighed again before she set the bowl on the coffee table and laid down on the couch, pulling the blanket up to her chin. Motley wasn't happy about her sudden movement and jumped off the couch to go find somewhere else to lay. But that was alright, she still had her huge white teddy bear to keep her company. She rest her head against it like a pillow. It came to bed with her every night in Simon's absence. Not that she had any intentions to actually admit that to him. Her eyes closed of their own accord while she watched the screen.

She was stirred, a little while later by a gentle hand on her good shoulder. She hummed, opening her eyes to Simon kneeling beside her. It took a few seconds for the surprise of him being there to wear off and she smiled widely before throwing the blanket off and threw her good arm around his neck. His arms went around her and he exhaled a laugh into her hair. "Did you miss me, mi mujer?" He asked and she nodded, her good arm holding him tighter. He pulled her away so he could meet her eyes. "Yeah?" He asked and the palm of her hand landed on his chest in a firm swat. "Yes! I missed you. You ass." She scolded him and he smiled widely. Her eyes narrowed in fake annoyance. "You're late."

"My apologies, mi mujer. There was some kind of electrical problem. Honestly, I think it was mice chewing on some of the wires to the generator but we'll never know." Lily noticed the scratches on his cheek and looked him over. There was a thick bandage wrapped around his right forearm. "You're hurt." She said, pointing out the obvious and he exhaled a laugh. "It's not serious. Just a burn." She frowned. Gary didn't say anything about Simon being that close to the explosion. "I'm fine, Lily." He said. "I would tell you if it was serious."

"Promise?" She asked and a smile spread across his face. "I promise."

Her arm went around his neck again and she pulled him in for another hug. "How's our baby?" He asked and she pulled back with a smile. "Good. I gained a pound." She said proudly. Putting weight on was an uphill battle but Lily did her best to eat in his absence, even surprising herself with her weight gain. The ice cream Maria kept having sent up to her room definitely helped. "That's my girl." He said and she beamed at him. Seeing him made her the happiest she'd been all week and she quickly brushed her lips against his. He smiled against her mouth before he kissed her back, tenderly.

When their lips parted he was smiling. "I brought you something. Come on." He said, nodding behind him. Her face lit up in excitement and he stood before offering a hand to help her stand. She accepted and he helped her up. That's when she noticed the two boxes on the floor beside the dresser. The boxes were big and she followed Simon over to them. "The first one is heavy." He said, already reaching for it. He lifted one of the boxes to the dresser and opened it before pulling out a boom box cd player. She smiled widely at the sight of it. "I know how much you love music so we made a little stop at a record store and picked some stuff out." She peeked inside the box on the dresser and there were tons of cd cases. Her eyes landed on four Def Leppard albums and she scooped those up right away.

"Oh, Simon. This is the coolest!" She said, looking up from the cd cases to beam at him. He took the cd cases from her and put them back in the box. "Well that was the big thing but theres some stuff in the other box I think you'll like too." He said before swapping out the boxes. The cd player stayed on the dresser, though he did push it to the side to make room for the new box. He opened the flaps and she looked inside. The first thing she saw was a Def Leppard Hysteria album muscle tank. It was just like her other one that had been ripped to shreds while on a run.

Tears came to her eyes when she realized that the box was filled with vintage band shirts. "Are you crying?" Simon asked her, surprise clear in his tone and she wiped at her eyes with the back of her good hand. "I can't believe you did all this for me." She said and he gave her a funny smile. Placing the box of shirts on the floor, he picked her up and set her on the edge of the dresser before his lips came down on hers. He kissed her tenderly, his mouth slowly moving against hers. She moaned and he smiled before pulling away.

One of his hands pushed her blonde hair behind her, his hand lingering on the base of her neck. "Don't you know I'd do anything for you?" He asked and she smiled widely. Her injured arm lightly went around him, keeping him against her while her good hand found his face. He looked like he was about to say something but Lily remembered that she actually had something for him too. "Hold that thought." She told him. "I have something for you too. Open that drawer." She pointed to the drawer that housed the majority of her flannel shirts. He did and she used her good hand to dig underneath them and pulled out two pieces of paper, one yellow and one white. She left the white one on the dresser and grabbed the yellow one and held it up. "Isn't that our marriage contract?" He asked and she nodded with a smile. She unfolded it and shook her head at the sight of it.

She had a lot of time to think while he was gone. She could see in his eyes how sorry he'd been that he hurt her. And she loved him, so much so that she could never be with anyone else. It was him or no one. But she wanted him. She ripped the contract in half and he smiled. She was hoping he'd smile. "You sure about that?" He asked and she nodded. "You wouldn't of done any of those things anyway." She told him assuredly. He leaned forward and captured her lips again in a quick kiss. When their lips parted he noticed the white piece of paper still sitting on the dresser. "What's that?" He asked and Lily quickly reached over and shoved it back into the drawer. "That one's mine." She said quickly and he gave her a mischievous smirk before he reached for it. "No!" She yelled but it was too late. The paper was in his hands and he unfolded it to read it.

_Behave._

"You still have this?" He asked, genuine surprise on his face and a deep blush heated her cheeks before she grabbed it from him and stuffed it back in the drawer. His hands went to her face while he wore an amused expression on his. "Lily, you're blushing." He observed and her cheeks got hotter for it. "Stop it." She said and he smirked. "Or you wont get your other present." She warned and his hands dropped from her face but they lingered on her bare thighs, his thumbs rubbing slow circles on the flesh of her inner thighs. With Simon behaving she reached back into the drawer and pulled out the Spanish dictionary. He smirked at the sight of it. "Doing a bit of light reading?" He asked and she smiled proudly.

"Te quiero, Simon." She said and he smiled before bringing one of his hands up to brush her hair behind her shoulder. "That's adorable." He said and she frowned. "It's not supposed to be adorable. It's supposed to be serious." She told him, disappointed that she got it wrong.

"Well... if you're serious about it, you wouldn't say te quiero. That's something you would say to Dwight or Arat. Not your husband." He said and she frowned. "The book didn't say that." She told him and he smirked. "How would I say it if I was talking to you?" She asked him and he smiled.

"You would say, te amo. Like... te amo, Lily." He said and her lips parted in surprise. He loved her. He actually loved her. She couldn't believe it. She never expected he would say that to her. "Are you sure?" She asked him and he exhaled a laugh. "Of course I'm sure. I went through a lot of trouble to get you, you know." He joked before his expression became serious. "I'm far from perfect. I know that. I made.. plenty of mistakes, but-"

"That's okay." She said, interrupting him. "I made mistakes too. I still want you." Her good hand grabbed his black t shirt in a tight grip and she looked up at him with light blue eyes full of adoration. "Te amo, Simon." His lips came down hard against hers and she moaned as she sank into his kiss. His kiss was no longer tender, it was hungry and rough and she loved it. Loved him. She tore her mouth away from his and his mouth moved to her neck, nipping and sucking her fair flesh. Her breathing hitched at the feeling. "How do I say... fuck me on this dresser?" She asked him breathily and he stopped his kisses, throwing his head back in a laugh. She missed his laugh. His true laugh. It was deep and throaty and she loved it. "Saying it in English is more than sufficient baby." He told her before pulling his shirt off and tossing it behind him.

She pulled him down for another kiss, arching herself into him as she did. Her hands roamed the warm expanse of his toned chest and abdomen. The coarse hairs scattered across his chest were rough beneath her palms. He was so warm and strong and she missed him so much. She couldn't wait to have him inside her. His hands were busy working on the buttons to her flannel and hers went to his belt, quickly undoing the latch on his belt and the button of his trousers. When she was done, his mouth moved to her neck and she moaned deeply at the feeling of his teeth nipping her flesh while he pushed the flannel off her shoulders. With her own shirt discarded, both of his hands hooked over the rim of her panties and she wiggled her hips a bit to help him get them off.

Her panties hit the floor without a sound and Simon pushed her knees apart, standing between her spread legs. His eyes roamed her bare flesh while her hands grabbed for him, touching anything she could get. His back, his chest, his abdomen, anything her hands could reach. She needed to feel him. "Fuck, I missed you. You're so god damned beautiful, Lily." He said and a wide smile spread across her face. Her hands reached for his open pants and she pulled them down his hips, exposing his hard cock. She wrapped one of her hands around it and pumped him a few times. He released a deep groan at feeling her hand on him. She was soaked and all he'd done was undress her. It was too easy for him. Her body loved him as much as her heart did. Her injured arm pulled him in and he stepped closer, she lined him up with her slit and slowly, he pushed the thick head of his cock inside her.

Her mouth dropped open as he pushed farther inside, his thick cock stretching her for the first time in weeks. She whined and he groaned when he was fully inside, his thick muscle reaching every bit of her. He stilled there, both of them taking the moment in, before he started to move inside her. "Oh, Simon. Fuck." She whined when he pulled out and entered her again at a tortuously slow pace. He smiled down at her. "That's the idea, baby." He said and Her good hand playfully smacked his chest. He smiled, pulling out again and repeating the same motion. Her hands clung to his warm skin while his own hands braced her, keeping her upright. Which was a good thing, because all she wanted to do was melt into the dresser at the pure bliss she was feeling. It was all made better when he leaned forward, til his lips brushed against her ear. "Te amo, Lily." He said quietly and she whined.

Complete bliss. That's the only way to describe how she felt. His thick cock was stroking every bit of her insides while his words melted her heart. One of his hands groped at her chest, rolling her nipple between his fingers and it hardened under his skilled touch before he switched to the other breast. She moaned from the feeling. Her eyes fell closed in her bliss and her head tilted back. "Look at me baby." He said and after another slow stroke inside her, reluctantly she opened her eyes, glazed over from the pleasure. "That's it." He said when she met his eyes. His hand came up to grab her jaw in a tight grip, holding her face inches from his. "Feel me fuck you." He said and she released a breathy exhale as one of her hands found it's way between their bodies. Her hand slipped lower to where his cock was slowly pistoning in and out of her. She spread her index and middle fingers wide to feel his thick cock between her fingers. She cried out as his cock moved between her fingers, coating them in her arousal.

"That's it, baby. You feel that?" He asked and she nodded, half out of her mind in ecstasy. "How does it feel? Tell me how my dick feels inside you." He instructed and she whined again. "Oh, so good." She half cried out. "Simon it feels so good. I love it." He picked up his pace, fucking her harder into the dresser and her nails pressed deeply into the warm skin of his back. "That's it baby. Claw me up good." He cooed and she cried out, her nails digging deeper into his skin and he groaned, throwing his own head back before he met her eyes again. "You feel so good baby. So _tight_ and _wet_ for me." His words were punctuated by a couple of rough thrusts that had her crying out.

"Oh, Simon I'm so close. Don't stop." She begged, her pleasure quickly reaching a fever pitch. She clung to him and he held her tightly as he fucked her harder into the dresser. It felt so good having him inside her. His body combined with hers was pure bliss. His hand abandoned her face in favor of pulling hers from between them and she watched as he held it up between them, glistening from her wetness. She read his intention on his face and quickly ran her own tongue up the length of her fingers earning a deep groan from the man. His hand left hers and she sucked at her own fingers while his grip on her tightened. "Fuck, I love you." He breathed before he started slamming his hips into hers, painfully hitting her cervix each time. His words hit her ears and she instantly came undone.

She cried out, throwing her head back as she did and he fucked her hard through her amazingly intense orgasm. It shot up her spine and spread throughout her every nerve while her body contracted around his thick cock. He groaned deeply as he slammed his hips into hers a few more times before he stilled there, releasing thick ropes of warm come inside her. He rest his head in the crook of her neck while they came down from their shared high. Eventually, he pulled himself from her and fixed his pants while she continued to catch her breath on the dresser. "You know, that's what got us into this in the first place." She scolded him and he gave her a wide smile. "Yeah, but you're already pregnant." He said, stepping between her still spread legs and brushed his lips against hers. "And you feel so good."

"I hope you're done working for the day." She said and he smirked, bringing one of his warm hands up to her face. His thumb brushed against her cheek before he spoke. "Yeah and why is that?" She smiled widely, one of her fingers hooked through one of his belt loops and she pulled him closer. "I think we need to work on our relationship some more." She cooed and his smirk widened. "Is that so?" He asked and she nodded.

"Oh it is." She assured him. "We might even need a candle."

"Oh, we're definitely gonna need a candle." He said, picking her up off the dresser. Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist and her good arm clung to his neck while he carried her to the bed. He laid her down gently, being careful of her wounded shoulder as he did and she got into a comfortable position while he ditched his pants. He climbed over her and lowered himself so his warm body covered hers. It felt so good having his weight on her and she rewarded him with a smile. He brought his lips down against hers in a quick kiss. "Have you thought of any names?" He asked her when their lips parted and she smiled. "I thought of one for a girl. Stevie."

"Like Stevie Nicks?" He asked, his tone full of amusement and she nodded. He smiled. "And if it's a boy?" He asked and she shrugged with her good shoulder. "I dunno. I was hoping you could help."

"I would love nothing less." He said and she smiled. "I love you, Simon." She told him. Lily never expected she would love someone and be loved in return. Apparently all it took was an apocalypse and a car crash to make it happen. The world is a strange place, even more so after it ends. But even though traditional society had ended, Lily got the feeling that her life was only beginning. For the first time ever, she was genuinely happy and it was all thanks to a tall man with a fire in his eyes and a Burt Reynolds mustache.

"Te amo, Lily." He responded before bringing his lips down against hers, sealing their fate for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it!
> 
> I just want to say, if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading my story. I had originally intended for this to be 30 chapters but I feel really good about ending it here. 
> 
> There was a moment after chapter 5 where I really doubted continuing this story, so if you took time out of your day to leave me a comment or a kudos I just want to say you are the reason I finished this story. Thank you so much!


End file.
